Rachel rang today, her cat died yesterday so she had today off work to get over it.I'm not a cat person myself, we only ever had dogs in our house. No tell a lie we did have one when i was very small, it was called 'cat'. No other name, just 'cat'. It was wild really and put up with you as long as you didn't try to get near it, or stroke it, or look at it for that matter. If you did 'cat' turned into 'tiger' and tried ripping your face off. All it came home for was food a little warm up and then it buggered off out again. It had long black fur that was wild and unkempt. This was probably the only cat i have ever known that didn't take pride in it's appearance or bothered with cleanliness. In Cat terms it was a scruff bag. I'm pretty sure all the other cats talked about it behind it's back. Never to it's face thought because i'm also sure it was a bully and would have beaten them all up. It got run over by a bus, apparently but it survived for a short while screaming in agony and my dad had to put it out of it's misery with a brick. He still has nightmares about it now, Even in it's death knell it still tried to scratch his hand off. Although to be fair you would if someone was trying to smash your brains out with a brick wouldn't you ?.
We had a dog called Lassie. It was a cross between a Labrador and every other dog down the street. It's mother must have been a bit of a slut because no sooner had they managed to offload her pups on someone she was up the duff with another couple. We also had another dog from the same mother and called it Laddie LOL. This was the dumbest animal in the world and had a bad habit of breaking wind and frightening itself with the sound. He would then search the are where the fart came from trying to find out what it was. He died when he ran into a wall whilst chasing a ball. I was devastated. We buried him in the back garden near some rhubarb and I refused to eat any of that rhubarb after that.
Reading all that back it sounds like something from a comedy show, but i assure you it was true.
