Living the dream

Its been a bloody awful week at work this week. I swing from liking my job to hating it by the day. If I'm honest its not really the work its the people. To be more specific a couple of people. 

Unfortunately they are in a position of power. Although how the fuck they got there i'll never know. I can handle all the other tossers. Because i don't tolerate any crap from people at my level and below. Its just the ones from above that you can't really do anything about and they don't come any higher up than these two twats.

So to help me dream them away i do the lottery. I've been doing the lottery for years now and never won so much as a carrot. But like a idiot I keep on going. I'm buying a dream  I know. I'm not gonna win anything big. And the way things are going I'm gonna need that 69 million pound jackpot just to break even. But I've got it all planned for if i ever do. Ill ring in work the next day to tell them all to fuck off. Buy a  house, car. Holiday....etc. Split the cash with close friends and family. Stick some in a savings account and pension etc. Then spend the rest of my life enjoying giving the rest away to charities. Thats my dream.

 

Dr Jeckle or Mrs Hyde

Had to buy a Carbon Monoxide detector tonight. I've had a few people suggest that my Gas fire isn't burning  correctly. The flame is a sort of Orange colour when it's supposed to be Blue apparently. But i've read up on it and there is no blackening of the elements or surrounds so i'm not sure there is anything wrong. I got the the vac out and gave everything a good clean and dust, Made sure the flu was clear and had a good ventilation and even lit some paper to make sure smoke goes up the chimney properly. But just to be certain i bought a detector.

As soon as i put the batteries in the bloody thing went off, i nearly shit myself running to open all the windows and doors to let out any invisible toxic fumes. It was like the fire alarm incident all over again.  But it suddenly went off again and a green light came on. I hadn't read the instructions. It's supposed to do that when it sets itself  up the first time you use it.

(Note to self. Read instructions first before turning new things on.)

Anyways, it's flashing green for ok now and everything seems to be ok. But i'm gonna have to get an expert out to look at it i think.

One of my bosses at work (A female) threw a real paddy this morning. I'm convinced she's mentally unstable. She's overly nice one minute but overly nasty the next. I've not been on the receiving end of the nasty side yet but i've had to witness it before.

Today though, she really did throw a proper childing tantrum, Stamping her feet, screaming at the top of her voice, banging her hands on the desk and swearing at her partner (my other boss) For what i could see was no reason whatsoever.

When she is in this mood she's like some paranoid schizo. Any sort of normal question you ask her is over analysed and translated into something critical. So a simple phrase like 'would you like me to file these invoices for you?' can be translated as a criticism of her ability to file things herself and a suggestion that she is so crap at it that you want to take things out of her hands and run the whole office instead of her because she is a useless piece of shit and you want her to die.

However, if you decide not to help and leave filing to her, this can be translated as - do it your fucking self you lazy bitch because i'm not helping you, all this work is for you to do not me. You can't win. And as much as that last bit might sound extreme, she really does think like that.

One day a collegue helping her with some figures she was trying to work out asked if she had a pen. But the way he said it must have been translated in her head as -Why haven't you got a pen?. So she replied with a scream "yes!!, i've got a fucking pen!, Do you think i'm a fucking idiot or something?.

When he replied he was only asking if she had one, She threw the pen at him and stormed off shouting 'here... have the fucking pen if you want it, i'll get my own bloody pen!!!'.  She then kicked a box across the room, slammed the photocopier top loader down and pushed the door open with such a force on her way out it left a hole in the wall where the handle caught it.

We were left looking at each other wondering what the hell that was all about. 10 Minutes later she was laughing and joking as if nothing had happened and turned back into a nice fun person who you can really get along with. It's weird.

Dr Jeckle and Mrs Hyde all rolled into one.

Her partner is a lovely bloke but she's the one in charge not him and you can tell he lives in terror of her, He tends to disappear when she's throwing a wobbler. Like a coward running away from a fight.

It's entertaining i suppose. But it's pathetic and embarrassing at the same time.

Induction

Stayed at my mum and dads over the weekend. I say mum and dad, it's just mums now.

By Sunday she was doing my head in. I luv here to bits but i've remembered why i don't live at home anymore. It wasn't because she wanted to talk all the time. It was more to do with the fact that she had a list of things that needed doing. I'm a replacement for my father. Any odd job that he would have done now falls on my shoulders.

But i was out on the piss on Friday and had a good old blow out with Daniel. When i got back i was sleeping in my old bedroom. It seemed weird, it always does. I wake up in the middle of the night for a piss and it feels like i've taken a step back in time. For a second i'm 15 again.

At work this morning i have been given another new guy to "induct". He's a lovely lad but slightly dim. The lights are on but no one is in, if you get my drift.

I felt like shaking him on several occasions because there seemed to be no response to anything i said. He was walking around in a dream most of the time and it seemed as thought he was on another planet. A bit like me on Saturday Morning after a Friday night out. ;-) But he's only 17 and doesn't drink so he's no excuse.

Went shopping to Asda on my way home tonight and was bombarded with over the top customer service.

"thank you for waiting sir"

"do you want any help with your packing?"

"hasn't it been cold today?"

"these are really nice arn't they?"

"would you like any cashback with that?

etc etc.

It's like having your hair cut, the nosey buggers keep asking never ending questions. Now we know what happend to all those interrigators when they shut Guantanamo Bay.

They all got jobs at Asda

Stoned

We shifted that stone last night. Straight after work i drove over to pick Daniel up and we went straight to the yard.

This guy had a flat back wagon and we had to load all this old stone taken from a demolition job about a year previously and take it over to another site for a guy who bought it. Apparently old stone like this is worth a lot of money. Don't ask me why it just looked like any old stone to me.

But it had all been left out in the weather so half of it was full of mould and piss wet through. It was fairly straight forward. The only problem we had, came at the end, when the twat said he didn't have enough money on him to pay us both so we (or at least Daniel) will have to go back tomorrow night for the rest of it.

Today however i feel the pain. I was ok yesterday but why does it always hurt more the day after ?.

Bath, Radox bath salts and bed i think after this blog posting.

With a possible celebratory wank to finish off with. LOL

Work

I hate work. i fucking hate it. Why do i have to work where i work ?. Why can't i leave ?.

I work in an office with some boring arseholes who read the Daily Mail and do the master quiz every dinner time.
Who gives a shit who the home secretary's wife was in 1975 and if you know the answer you need to get a life.
My boss can't understand why I'm not as enthusiastic at my job as he is and reminds me constantly how hard he works and the hours he puts in.
If i was on his money and had more control of my working day i might show more interest, but being a dogsbody on the national minimum wage is hardly inspiration is it?.
He goes on about the credit crunch and how we should be grateful to have a job because he isn't making any money.
But like the little boy who cried wolf he had being spouting this story since long before the credit crunch and he just bought a new car last week.
God i hate my job. it's like being smothered for 8 hours a day.
Quick post a picture and cheer yourself up.