Computer Back up and running

No time to blog, I'm testing my repaired and rejuvenated computer now that it's back in it's rightful place, on the unit, in the front room, 6 feet away from the telly that's playing in the background.
God I've missed you. Never ever go away again you little bastard.
Now then, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted.....

Sexual positions

Whats the best thing about screwing a guy?When you reach around you think you've gone all the way through.

That was An SMS text message joke sent to me today by a friend.

Probably because I'm the only gay person she knows.
I didn't reply because I didn't have my phone with me at the time and was busy working anyway so I hadn't read it yet.

Then I got another text message later asking if i thought it was offensive.

And later still a call to say sorry for sending it.

Bloody he'll some women are paranoid.

Besides I don't do reach around, I like to be face to face. Hetero people have one image of gay men having sex and it's rarely the way I screw.

I know one gay friend who will not and never has had anything up his arse.
And Daniel once told me he's not a big fan of testicles LOL.

To late now boy. Chin up.

- Posted using BlogPressfrom my iPhone

Shagtastic weekend

Well what a great weekend it's been.
Not a great start on Saturday though. I met the hairdresser's, his name was Simon, i got it wrong. And he seemed a bit camp (sorry if your reading this and are camp yourself) it doesn't really do it for me, but we did arrange to meet up later. He was gonna be with a couple of his mates, i was gonna be with Daniel.

When we did meet later on we were both a bit pissed, this made him even more camp and flamboyant and me even less interested in him. I think we both sort of realised it and that nothing was gonna happen so he disappeared off one way and i went the other. We then had an awkward 15 minutes at each end of the pub, him with his entourage, me with Daniel.
In the end we decided to bugger off and we all waved to each other as we left, which was nice. I suspect i wasn't what he was looking for either. We did have a good laugh at their hair though. They looked fucking ridiculous.

Later on was different a bit of luck. This time i got talking to someone really really nice. I don't know how we did strike up a conversation but you just do when your drunk don't you?. I get really talkative and happy when i've had a drink. I'm more sociable and i think it makes me a nicer person.
Anyway his name was Jason, or Jay to his friends. I won't bore you with the rest of the night. But he lived within taxi distance of the city center and i left Daniel talking to some of our mates and disappeared off with him.

His body was a bit hairy, and looked better with cloths on than off. But you can;t have everything can you ?. It's interesting that when i have been with someone special we have lots of sex with the lights off. But all one night stand sex tends to be with the light on. You wanna see them and they wanna see you. It's a bit like porn, it's a visual thing.

On the downside, he smoked and his home smelled like an ashtray. When i got home later on Sunday morning ;-))) all my cloths stunk of smoke. I had forgotten what it was like before the smoking ban came in. Your cloths stink even if you don't smoke yourself.

I won't be seeing him again. Not just because i don't want to, also because i think he's one of those guys who just shag and move on to the next one.

I know this because his bedroom had a huge box of condoms, a lube dispenser and a box of toys. His mobile kept ringing and Gaydar was his screensaver on the computer in the corner of the bedroom. This fella is a professional shagger.

He gave me his number and asked me to call him, but it was said in a sort of "if you fancy another shag" type of way, rather than, "if you fancy meeting up for a drink and a chat".

It's funny because i have written in the past on this blog about not wanting a relationship and perhaps quite like the idea of someone who, like me, is happy to meet for just a shag with no strings.

Then when it happens i feel put out by it. Why doesn't he want a relationship with me ?. He's only interested in sex, not me, he could be shagging anything.

LOL.

I'm a two faced self centered twat aren't i ?.

My Type of Guys

Glorious sun again today, Summer is fast approaching, and i think it's brilliant !. I’ve Still not seen any descent totty walking around though. It’s hardly worth having a camera phone is it ?.
I must admit i am a bit white myself. I took a closer look in the mirror the other night after a shower. We don't get enough sun in this country, everyone is extra white in the UK after winter is finished with us.
In Scotland i think they are a lighter shade of blue.

One of the women at work today was talking about things that put her off men. Hairy toes is quite high on the list, but men who fart in front of them comes a close second.
When they have conversations like this i'm interested and listen in. Mainly because i find a lot of what puts women off fellas doesn't normally match my list.

I for instance don't give a shit what he does for a living. I'm not looking for someone to "look after me" and if i'm honest it would probably work the other way around. If a guy had a really good job with loads of money and living in a big posh house i'd feel a bit inadequate. Much prefer someone who's got nothing.
Does that mean i'm looking for someone who i can "look after"?
I don't really notice toes either. In fact i'm not a foot person at all (i think i have mentioned that before).
Sexually i don't really have a type. That would probably be their downfall. I swap and change a lot. if i was going out with a young guy i'd have an eye out for someone older. if i was with someone older i'd start looking at guys my own age. My wanking fantasies are different every night and i'd probably be expecting that in real life.
Kissing and cuddling someone in bed would be OK, but you don't want it every night do you ?. Sometimes a bit of Jungle Fucking is what the Doctor ordered. LOL.

Sex on the Brain

Have you noticed i changed the blog format back to a boring background ?.
I don't know about you, but it was taking too long to load the page with fancy backgrounds and stuff. Plain is sometimes better than trying to be all flash.

I sometimes feel the same thing applies to life. But i could do with a bit of flash every now and then to be honest.
I've decided that i'm not gonna stay at this wedding thing on Saturday. Daniel and i are gonna show our faces, then sneak off when no one is looking and get off our faces in Mancs instead.

Daniel told me that his Ex has been in hospital for an operation. He didn't know what it was and seemed quite worried about him yesterday.
Tonight we hear that the operation was for Piles (hemorrhoids) LOL !.
Daniel thinks that alongside Aids, hemorrhoids are one the worst things a gay man can get. Ha!.
I'm not so sure he's thought that one through do you ?. Still, i don't think i fancy anyone fiddling around my back passage with a knife. (shudder) poor bloke.
Why does it sound funny though ?.
When my mother says `i'm going to the doctors with my feet` that always makes me laugh as well.

I watched one of those police camera action type shows on the telly the other night. You know the sort where a criminal steals a car and is chased by the police, he drives up the wrong side of the road, through red lights, smashes into other cars, scatters pedestrians and fights the cops off with a stick before being wrestled to the ground by 10 coppers with batons who drag him away as he screams abuse. Then they tell you at the end of the show he got 30 hour community service or that all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. (in America he would have got the electric chair plus 99 years).

Anyways there was a guy on it. A bad guy, who looked a bad guy and not someone to be messed with. I shouldn't say this but he was as fit as fuck, and he had no shirt on. When he was struggling to break free they pulled his jeans down a bit as well to reveal a very nice muscular arse. And that!, ladies and gentlemen, is how my mind works.
I'm watching a serious documentary on crime and punishment and all i can think is `he's fit, look at that lovely bum, i wonder what he's like in bed, i bet he's a bit of an animal, i imagine he'd be a bit rough and forceful, perhaps very verbal and top...`.

I haven't quite reached the point where i'm looking at news reports on world disasters and getting distracted by half naked people, But i'm getting worried about myself.

I must get a shag this week end, i'm turning into a sex maniac.

Come out come out wherever you are

Sunny day today, so out in the garden.
Sunbathing with a can of Larger ?. NO. Gardening with a bloody lawnmower.

Anyone know where i can buy a load of paving stones for nothing ?. This thing wants turning into a huge patio.
On the other hand i did break into a sweat so it makes up for not going to the gym. I'm just gonna have to consider it a work out that's all.

I didn't get any last night again. I came home alone, Unused condom in pocket and had to finish myself off.
I think the main problem is that i live in a town that seems baron of any visible gay life. I say visible, because the place must be full of them, they just keep their heads down, or bugger off to the city when they want a night out.

One of the down sides to going to straight places is that you never know who is straight and who is gay. A pink top means nothing nowadays and neither does a trendy haircut and false tan. Everyone looks gay from what i can tell.
Even talking slightly camp is no measure of the man.

My pet hate about the Village in Manchester has always been that it's now full of tourists coming to look at the queers. Women on hen nights or just because they want to have fun without being pestered by men.
Only to spend most of the night pestering the gays with a patronising "oh isn't is a shame, if only you weren't gay"
Fuck Off !!
The flip side to the coin is the truly gay club or pub. This then turns into a sleazy cruising joint where going to the loo is like entering an orgy.

Anyway i'm rambling now, i've forgotten the point to this post. I thinks its a bit macho round here. Time to get back to Manchester. At least you know what your getting.
Better the devil you know.

Blu Movies

Daniel has been great over the last couple of weeks.
It's at times like this you find out who your mates are. Someone suggested once that he would be a good housemate to share the bills with.
We'd kill each other !. We get on great, i like his company, he's my best friend, attractive, loyal, and we spend just about enough time together before we know it's time to walk away and part for a few days.

Tonight i'm going over to his place because his Mom & Dad are away for the weekend on a romantic anniversary trip to Paris.
So, as we are both skint and can't afford to go out, he's bought a couple of bottles of wine and we're gonna stay in and watch Blu Ray on his huge HD TV with surround sound and all that shit.

Do they do any porn on Blu Ray yet ?. I haven't seen any if they do. They say that with HD you can see everything warts and all. I don't fancy seeing any warts, but the all would be good.

The only problem with Daniels house is that it's very fluffy and women like. His mother has drape curtains and fluffy rugs, cream carpets and ornaments everywhere. You daren't turn round in case you knock something over. No shoes are allowed in the main room and he rarely goes in there himself because he's always being told off for not using coasters for his drink or putting his feet up on the chair. It would be so easy to leave a stain on the sofa as it's a light cream fabric and the cushions look like bloody mattresses.

It's really nice i suppose, but hardly practical.
Note to self - try not to spill any fluids. Not that we will be doing i might add.

Up the Nile

Had a great weekend. I got drunk, but managed to keep a head on it.
I had a couple, and got to that nice relaxed, having a good time, feeling happy point, then slowed to a stop.
I wish i could do that all the time. It's a nice feeling but it lasts all of about 15 minutes. One more drink and you tip over the edge into oblivion. I'm good at doing that.

Daniel was in a happy mood as well. He said that Jack had been asking lots of questions about me and that he was thinking of ringing me.
I have no intentions of getting back with him or rekindling any kind of relationship. But the last thing you want to happen when you split with someone is to hear that they are living happily ever after and have moved on to someone else. What you wanna hear is misery and how much they are missing you. Then you can happily move on with your own life, content in the fact that it was a relationship that was never meant to be. Funny that eh ?.

We bumped into one of Dans acquaintances. He is about 30 or so, slightly camp, a bit weird and scruffy looking. The sort who have pink & blond hair with black roots showing. All white skin and spots. Thin as a rake and looking like he wears the same cloths every day. If he were and actor On CSI he would probably play the part of a drug addict.
He was OK though. His name is Nile (? wot ?) and he's a bit of a slapper. Nothing wrong with that. What i didn't like though was the fact that he was a bit of what my dad would call a predator gay.

He has a thing about straight men and seems to have a death wish with it. His goal is to hit on straight men and has millions of stories about married men he meets off gaydar or in saunas. His latest shag was a guy in Blackburn who has three kids under 10.

In fact he goes to a sauna almost every week and travels around from Barnsley, Sheffield through to Leeds and Blackpool. Gay men don't do it for him. he prefers straight men. Although i pointed out that if he's managing to get his lips around their genitals without getting his head kicked in, the chances are, they ain't straight.

I must admit it was all entertaining stuff, but not my cup of tea. I wouldn't wanna share a cup with him in case i caught something.
I seem to remember having a long conversation about crabs and how to get rid of them. If that doesn't tell you enough about him then perhaps you should note that before we left he started telling me about a private glory hole that he is building at his home. He intends inviting guys over to cum and go.
At this point Daniel and I left. Daniel was feeling sick.

I'm not naive to all this stuff i can assure you, but when you actually meet someone who does it, it's different. I'm fully aware that there are people out there into being shit on, but have you ever met or had a conversation with one ?.

Pornographic E-mail

From time to time i get suggestive e-mails from readers with offers to meet (usually for sex).
I don't bother with Gaydar much but i still get the odd message from there as well and every now and then they turn out to be pornographic, weird, scary, abusive or just downright hilarious. I find that it best to just ignore and not acknowledge certain ones. But last night i had an offer from a 'Daddy' looking for a boy to 'own'. In this e-mail it was suggested that i service his needs and will be used and abused for his sexual pleasure. From time to time he would pass me round for his friends to enjoy whilst he watched and at least once a month i would expect to be drugged and gangbanged by many guys at certain parties he travels and attends, along with 'submitting my image' to private Photographic sessions. This long e-mail then started to wander off into bestiality where he suggested i may also have to bend over and offer my services to his Alsatian, water sports and Bondage with torture would also be a regular 'pleasure for me' after he 'brands' me with ownership in the form of a tattoo on my arse.

But the thing that really turned me off his e-mail and why i decided to turn down his offer was when he also included the horrific, and quite frankly offencive suggestion that i also become his house boy and 'clean and cook for him!!'.

My Reply

"Fuck off you pervert, clean your own fucking house !."

Secrets of my Back Bedroom

I rang my mum tonight to catch up on how things are with her.

“it’s all going on here” she said, and then spoke for half an hour about nothing. The “all going on” was more to do with my uncle Malcolm who is in hospital having his hemorrhoids put back in. So she and dad have been driving my Auntie Pat to the hospital and back which is upsetting their normal run of the mill routine.

It was riveting stuff i can't deny, or can i?. Then she started asking me questions, and by the time we reached the usual ones about what I had just eaten for my tea I decided it was time to go. But before I did she mentioned my dad is a bit worried because they are making people redundant at his work again. He'd be gutted if he lost his job i know.

One of the good things about moving from a tiny flat to a big house with a garage means that i have lots of space to fill.
I can stick all my porn in one room outta the way now so when people come to visit i don't need to cover any cock pics up or push DVDs under cushions.
A while ago someone gave me a really gay picture of two guys with their tops off standing by a waterfall. I never put it up because i hate that sort of thing on display around the house. It smacks to much of 'look at me I'm gay just in case you didn't already know'. Hetero people don't have picture of women with their tits out on show do they ?. And besides it looked too much like wanking material, not very artistic, just pornographic. I don't really want stuff like that hanging over my shoulder when I'm sat having a cup of tea with my mother and her friend Sheila.

Anyways i stuck this picture up in the back bedroom and the more i look at this room the more i realise it's gonna be kept for special occasions. In other words, when people come to stay (for the night).

I wonder if i can fit some bondage gear and sling in there ? LOL.

Scuppered

Spoke to Jack about me going to Dave's party tonight. It seemed to go down pretty well really. He told me that if i did, i was dumped and he would never speak to me ever again.

'It's not a party, it's blokes shagging each other' he said. Porn, booze, sex. And that is supposed to put me off ?. Then he reminded me the last time we went over. The type of men we saw. there was nothing wrong with them as such, but would i want to have sex with them all at the same time ?. Still he's not really convincing me not to go.
I suppose fantasy and reality are two different things but every time he started telling me what would be going on it turned me on rather than off. LOL.
Anyway I'm not going so he can calm down. But i suggested he doesn't use the line "do you really wanna be in the middle of a mass gangbang with a group of old blokes going at you like a pack of animals ?". Er......... give me a minute whilst i think about that one.

So instead i could go over to Jacks couldn't i ?. Well no because he is tired and wants an early night tonight, he has to be up early tomorrow and travel to London.

Daniel is with Howard for the night and Rachel is with her boyfriend as well.
How sad. I'm all alone with no-one to comfort me or talk to. I'm reaching for the tissues right now. And it's not to wipe away a tear. ;-)

What was the reason i wasn't supposed to go to the party for again ?. Oh yes, that's it.

The first time

Nothing of any relevence happened today so i think i'll just write any old crap, fill in some detail about my life for anyone who reads on a regular basis. I must do that more often in fact. It's better than posting that my kettle broke or what i had for lunch today.

When i was a kid i saw a cowboy film with Red Indians in it. They were all naked from the waist upwards and something inside me stirred to make me feel all funny and curious, i didn't know why at the time but it seemed exciting and strange.

For a short while i had a thing about cowboy movies until i realised that not all of them had half naked Indians in them, and worse still some were actually more about the cowboys. Last night there was a John Wayne film on telly and in it were those same Indians i remembered. All topless and running around waving tomahawks.

It didn't make me want to knock on off whilst watching or anything like that, but isn't it weird how something so innocent can take you back to your childhood ?. It also reminded me how as you grow older and experience more things sexually, stuff that would once blow your mind suddenly becomes normal, and you need something else to get that same kick.

The first porn film i saw, then the first gay porn film, the first time i went into a gay bar, the first time i kissed a boy, my first sexual experience. the first time i felt my skin against someone else's.

It's still fun and exciting, but not quite as euphoric is it ?. The first time is always the best. you just don't realise it till the second time.

Belly Boy

Saw Lucy and her boyfriend today.

I don't think Lucy knows i fancy her boyfriend because if she did she wouldn't even allow me to talk to him.
Not that he would be interested, it's just her, she is a bit of a jealous type.
They were taking her little sister for a walk and at one point Michael (that's his name) picked her up to sit on his shoulders.
As he did her foot got caught in his t shirt and lifted it up slightly revealing a naked belly and a little bit of chest before it dropped down again.

Lucy knows i'm gay and made a crass remark about covering himself up in front of me and we all laughed.

But actually i did get a good look and i have stored it away for future use.
It was all flat but not muscly, an inward belly button and that sort of hair that runs down from the button and disappears into you pants to join the rest of your pubes round your knob.

It's amazing, i only got a millisecond of a look and i can describe it in detail.
It's a man thing, anything sexual and the brain springs into action.
Sums, work, or where you left your keys and it's forgotten immediately.

Guilty feeling

Went to the club last night and spent most of the night hanging off the shoulder of some stranger that was a mate of Roberts.
There was a bit of a fight in one corner with two camp queens until one ran off in tears.
Camp Queers fighting are always entertaining, it's Lesbians that scare the pants off me, when they start you run for cover.

Afterwards we went for a Curry and then back to Robs mates house, more drink, loud music and then sex on a pile of old coats in Robs back bedroom.
It was great fun and i enjoyed every minute of it, but the next day always leaves me feeling shallow.
I'm not really ready for a relationship, i'm happy being single right now, but everyone around me and all morals seem to be in conflict with what i want.
Imagine being told you can't masturbate. You enjoy it, you may want to do lots of it, but the fun police say you shouldn't and all society says you should feel guilty for even wanting to in the first place.

Mmm, not sure how i feel about it all. perhaps i'll try it a bit more first and see how it goes.