Old time Porno pics

I work with a guy who looks about 70. He's a really nice bloke and i really like working with him. But he's like my dad.

Today he brought some old photographs of himself from the late 50s or early 60s. He was in his teens and dating his future wife at the time.

Fuck me he was fit !. I'd have had him anyway LOL. But i couldn't really translate the picture of this young guy with the old bloke standing next to me. He didn't even have the same sort of features. His hair was a different colour, he had a different shape, even his teeth looked different. It took some time convincing me it was him. In fact he had to more or less show me a time laps compilation of pics of himself over the years to convince me.

When i have seen old gay porn pics from a long long time ago, or just old photographs of guys from the 40s and 50s or 60s & 70s i don't really get the same feeling i do with current stuff. In fact that hairy 70s look always makes me laugh, they just look like scruffy tramps. Sometimes there is a nice body or a nice face but it's like seeing pretty runway models who have been ruined by being made to dress up and styled to look a twat.

Last week i watched a 80s porn clip on the net, I couldn't get over the state of this guys hair. It was a sort of blond curtain that kept getting in his eyes.

I'm sure i'll look a pillock in old photos in the future ( i already do, and you wanna see stuff from when i was 15...eek!) but i wonder how it works the other way around ?.

I know we all look back on old pics of ourselves and cringe, but what about porn ?. And looking to the future, Will i watch future porn and get distracted by young guys looking weird.?

1st time porn

Daniel once told me that when he was about 13 or14 he found his dads porn collection. Notice he used the phrase "dads" and not "parents".

Obviously he couldn't imagine his mother being interested in that sort of thing, in fact i can't actually imagine my mother being interested in that sort of thing ever.

It's weird how you can get it into your head that everyone in the world is fucking each other. But when it comes to family members a wall goes up. Anyway the reason i tell this story is because over the weekend he said he had seen the exact same film he saw when he was a kid. He said he thougth it was shit now thought. For some reason it wasn't as exciting. Besides there was a women in it and everyone was hairy. LOL.

I seem to remember the first time i saw a porno. I don't know how old i was, but far too young to be viewing that sort of thing for starters.  It was on a VHS that looked so old i'm surprised the tape didn't break in the machine. It was all very exciting. A bit like watching the Exorcist for the first time. I couldn't look away but knew i shouldn't be watching.

Then a guy came onto a womans face and i nearly threw up. Yeeeiuk !

How times change. LOL

Porno Filth

I'm going out to dinner at Mike and Marks again tonight.
But we don't eat till about 8.30. I'll be fucking starving by then.

I've been sent a list of porn DVDs from someone i know. £1 each. 10 for a fiver. The Internet is even killing the snide DVD market. No one buys music, films have gone outta the window, and with a web full of porn who would bother to buy any ?.
I remember when i was younger i would buy a CD at the shop, copy it, then take it back and swap it for another saying it was an unwanted present.
I could copy loads that way, Photocopy the cover and flog them for £4 each.
Daniel had a whole list printed up and used to hand them round at school.
Proper little bootleggers we were.

The porno video market was a little different. To be honest it was all straight stuff. It's difficult to get dirty videos with man on man action when your 14. You just thank your lucky stars it's any kind of porn.
One of our mates used to borrow his dads without him knowing. He had a huge stash in the locked wardrobe. But one Christmas when our mate was trying to find his stash of hidden Christmas Presents, he found a way of opening it from the back by taking out a screw that stopped a panel from sliding over.
He was looking for Christmas presents and came across a stack of porn. In fact all his Christmas's' came at once, Literally ;-).
There were magazines as well. Who bothers reading them ?. There was loads of the stuff apparently. But we spoilt it all really by taking the piss out of this guy saying that his dad must have been wanking off to certain films he lent us, or suggesting his mother flicked herself off to the black guy in another.
He stopped lending us them in the end.
Twat !.

(i bet she did flick herself off though....i know i did..;-))

Blu Movies

Daniel has been great over the last couple of weeks.
It's at times like this you find out who your mates are. Someone suggested once that he would be a good housemate to share the bills with.
We'd kill each other !. We get on great, i like his company, he's my best friend, attractive, loyal, and we spend just about enough time together before we know it's time to walk away and part for a few days.

Tonight i'm going over to his place because his Mom & Dad are away for the weekend on a romantic anniversary trip to Paris.
So, as we are both skint and can't afford to go out, he's bought a couple of bottles of wine and we're gonna stay in and watch Blu Ray on his huge HD TV with surround sound and all that shit.

Do they do any porn on Blu Ray yet ?. I haven't seen any if they do. They say that with HD you can see everything warts and all. I don't fancy seeing any warts, but the all would be good.

The only problem with Daniels house is that it's very fluffy and women like. His mother has drape curtains and fluffy rugs, cream carpets and ornaments everywhere. You daren't turn round in case you knock something over. No shoes are allowed in the main room and he rarely goes in there himself because he's always being told off for not using coasters for his drink or putting his feet up on the chair. It would be so easy to leave a stain on the sofa as it's a light cream fabric and the cushions look like bloody mattresses.

It's really nice i suppose, but hardly practical.
Note to self - try not to spill any fluids. Not that we will be doing i might add.

Mr Fix it

I have been feeling a little bit under the weather today. Not ill, just a bit off.
Can't be arsed to do anything, that sort of ill. Run down and drained. I could still find time for a ham shank before i went to bed last night mind you so i can't be that ill. (Ham Shank is rhyming slang by the way, i don't mean something to eat ;-))

I have invited Ryan to come and look at my computer this weekend. He's a bit of a whizz on them and i want it speeding up. My Broadband connection is now better so it would be good to see if i can speed my computer up as well.
Then i realised i might be best removing some of the porn from my folders. It wouldn't exactly be a Gary Glitter moment if he found anything but i wouldn't embarrass him with some of the stuff i look at.. The pictures i post here are very tame compared i can assure you, it's all legal but filthy.
I don't know why i bother though. It's freely available online so why download it ?. Perhaps because i save things i like and store it away for future use ?. Then i have a sort of pornographic magazine that only contains pictures that turn me on.
What must it have been like in days when people actually looked at proper paper porn mags ?. Turning a page with one hand trying to find something that keeps up the momentum ? LOL. Imagine turning for the next shot and finding an advert for a packet of fags. Ha! that would kill things stone dead i should imagine.
Anyways i'm wandering of the subject.

Ryan said he might bring his mate over and they can look at it together. Before anyone says or suggests anything. Ryan is not my type, he's too young, and he's not gay OK ?.

Pornographic E-mail

From time to time i get suggestive e-mails from readers with offers to meet (usually for sex).
I don't bother with Gaydar much but i still get the odd message from there as well and every now and then they turn out to be pornographic, weird, scary, abusive or just downright hilarious. I find that it best to just ignore and not acknowledge certain ones. But last night i had an offer from a 'Daddy' looking for a boy to 'own'. In this e-mail it was suggested that i service his needs and will be used and abused for his sexual pleasure. From time to time he would pass me round for his friends to enjoy whilst he watched and at least once a month i would expect to be drugged and gangbanged by many guys at certain parties he travels and attends, along with 'submitting my image' to private Photographic sessions. This long e-mail then started to wander off into bestiality where he suggested i may also have to bend over and offer my services to his Alsatian, water sports and Bondage with torture would also be a regular 'pleasure for me' after he 'brands' me with ownership in the form of a tattoo on my arse.

But the thing that really turned me off his e-mail and why i decided to turn down his offer was when he also included the horrific, and quite frankly offencive suggestion that i also become his house boy and 'clean and cook for him!!'.

My Reply

"Fuck off you pervert, clean your own fucking house !."

Strange Porn

Had a call from Daniel tonight asking if i'm interested in going out. But by the time i got home it was too late, i didn't feel like it.
He and Howard have had a tiff. They had a bit of fun with some bondage play and Howard slapped him on the arse too hard LOL !. It left a red mark and that's that last time Daniel is ever doing that again. Ha!. I nearly pissed myself. It's happened before. Daniel likes the idea better than the reality. He's all adventurous until it comes down to it and then he goes off the idea. He likes the idea of rimming someone. But to actually do it in real life would make him sick.

I once had a similar problem. I'm not into any pain whatsoever. Giving or receiving. This guy tweaked my nipples so hard i nearly punched him in the face. It fucking killed. I asked him what he did that for and he said he was sorry, he just got a bit carried away. I have also had someone slap my arse as well. That bloody hurt as well. If i unexpectedly spit in your face during sex i'm sure you wouldn't like it, so why assume you can suddenly assault me whilst having a shag ?.
Anyway Daniel and Howard are not talking for the moment and he wanted to come round and watch the England match with me. Neither of us are that interested in football so we just sat slagging people off and stuffing our faces with Pizza. Neither of us has been to the gym for a while. That's gone by the board again.
I got out some new porn that Ian let me have. One of the copies turned out to be straight. It was a group gang bang in a pub with two of the ugliest women i have ever seen having sex with the ugliest looking men i have ever set eyes on as well.
We both were sat transfixed. It was a bit like car crash porn. It was so bad you couldn't turn it off. In the end we both agreed that apart from it being heterosexual porn, the main problem with this DVD was that everyone in it was normal. No young attractive slim beautiful porn actors. These were the type you would actually see in a pub or shopping at ASDA. Pot bellies, hairy backs, spotty arses, socks, grubby underwear and all.

I like a bit of realism but this just went to far. One guy actually stopped for a sneeze in the middle of his shag and then carried on again. LOL.
weird stuff indeed. Perhaps i just like my porn to be fantasy. This could have been filmed up the road and i half expected my dad to walk past in the background and as Reg for a pint of Carlsberg

Drugs & Porn

On my way home from work last night i stopped off at Ian's to collect some DVDs.

He packs 'em with Mp3s of all the current albums and singles and usually flogs them for £10 or £15 each. You get about 20 albums and a stack of singles for your money. complete with jpg pics of the covers (back and front) so you can print them off and make up your own album. I get a copy for free. I never buy music, or download it from the Internet either come to think of it. I know it's wrong and I'm killing the music industry but there you go.

He was watching a mucky movie and didn't turn it off (he also does porn copies to sell as well).

It was called Girls Allowed. A spoof on the group Girls Aloud. It had characters called Cheryl Hole (Cheryl Cole) Sarah Hardon (Sarah Harding) and my personal favourite Quimberley (Kimberley Walsh) LOL, very funny. Crap film though it only had women in it. I can handle straight porn but it must have men in it. Lesbo stuff does absolutely nothing for me whatsoever.

I had a coffee and we chatted then someone appeared from the bedroom. It was a mate of his who looked like death warmed up. Ian also sells drugs so i assume the guy was recovering from something he took. He wore nothing but a short T-shirt and Undies. I found it strangely exciting until he walked past me. He stunk to high hell of sweat and unclean.

I get on great with Ian but every time i come away from his place i look over my shoulder.

The night job is going OK. It's just like working in a factory now. You have your bit to do and after a while it's like clockwork.

Daytime job is slightly different. As the bosses wife gets more into the job she is getting more uptight. So we now have someone else helping us. Howard. Howard is a Neanderthal man. He looks like something from Spinal Tap. Wild black hair that probably hasn't been washed in weeks and someone you might expect to see in IT. In fact he is intelligent and thick at the same time. His idea of comedy is the complete opposite to mine. His musical tastes are different. His fashion sense is different. And of course he prefers women. Saying all this, i find it strange that he isn't homophobic, nor is he Racist. That might seem a strange thing to say but if you met him you would probably know what i mean because sexist is definitely top of his list. Women are birds & bitches and something to empty your load into. I found that line offencive. Then remembered i didn't find it offencive the other night when someone in a gay porn film used it before...

Boring Saturday Night

I stopped in tonight, mainly because i am skint.

Once Daniel left i just sat and watched Britain's got talent, thank god that's over with. Then we have some film about Hitler on channel 4 or the FA Cup final repeat from this afternoon on ITV.

Note to self, don't stop in on Saturday nights. Weekends are for enjoying yourself, not staring at the walls.

I'm bored and it still feels early. I don't usually find myself in bed until the early hours of the morning on Sunday, but i'm actually toying with the idea of climbing in the sack now and it's only half 10 as i type this.

I have two options, Bed, or spend the next few hours searching the net for porn.

Gay Porn

I saw Brian today. We didn't speak, he was the other side of the road with someone and we just nodded to each other.
I don't want an enemy so it was good that we acknowledge each other and moved on.

Daniel brought some filthy DVDs round again, the sun is blazing outside and we are inside watching mucky DVDs, typical. They are copies with no cover so you don't know what your getting until you stick them in the player.
One had fellas fisting. Euuurrrrgh, we had to turn it off.
The next had big fat hairy bears shagging young twinks, and the last one had men pissing on each other.

Not really my taste in porn i'm afraid, there was nothing there that did it for me.
And Daniel was disgusted. He makes me laugh sometimes. He has a large porn collection, yet he can be very prudish about some of them.
If it turns him on it is great, if it's something that he doesn't approve of he finds it disgusting.

We once watched an old porn film from the 70's and the thing that put him off most was how much hair people had. He couldn't watch.
The main difference i noticed between old and new was that it seemed less set up. Practically every porn film i see has the same looking people in the same positions filmed at the same angle in turn one after the other.
The old ones look like someone just told the actors to 'get on with it', and the cameraman stuck his camera in wherever he could fit it.
A little less choreographed and a bit more realistic.

But it is true, the seventies must have been a bears Paradise.

Caught in the act

I have been online tonight looking at porn, let's face it that's what the net was invented for. Never mind research and shit, it's naked flesh and sex that people are looking for most of the time.
Well i am anyways.
After about 10 minutes there was a knock at the door and i went to answer it.
Unfortunately i forgot to knock off the screen so there was a big black guy with a massive erection staring out my monitor as i invited Daniel and Steve in.
To make things worse there was a box of tissues by the computer.

Something tells me this will not be forgotten and this story will be repeated by them for many years to come.

Still it could have been worse,it could have been my Mum.

Porn Pal

Daniel came round tonight to watch some mucky DVDs.
I'm not really into watching porn with someone i am not having sex with, it doesn't feel right, i can't watch it the same.
I either want to knock one off but can't with him sitting there, or I'm put off my coffee and hob nobs by the sound of someone having loud sex on a big screen in front of me.

It's the same when i am at the gym, getting undressed with close friends, or worse still family, is not a turn on. But a stranger slipping off his kegs in front of you is always interesting.

I turn from a prude into a pervert in seconds.