The Life of Brian

I spent much of last night being chased around Manchester and Oldham by a guy that obviously likes me. I have seen him around for a while now, but it is only recently that we got talking.

I don't mind him, he's OK, but that's all, just OK.
Bells don't go off when he enters the room, i don't even get a stirring feeling in my pants. But he is fun to be with and i should probably give him a chance.

His name is Brain, which to be honest puts me off him for a start. No offence to anyone called Brian, but it doesn't exactly paint a picture of a sexy guy does it?.
Brian's are usually accountants not boyfriends.
His face lights up when we meet and when i talk to him he has a permanent grin on his face. If i talk about something serious he looks so engrossed that you would think i am telling him how to defuse a bomb, and he will laugh wildly when i say something even slightly amusing.

This is all great for my ego though so i love it.

Like most people I'm quite insecure inside, so this is all brilliant as far as i am concerned. We all like to be liked, so anyone who helps to make me feel better about myself is worth more than a passing hello.

But, being me, and being a Friday night, this resulted in me taking him back to my place and sleeping with him.
Now it's the morning after the night before and as much as i think i like him, I'm sort of regretting the speed with which i decided to jump head first into a relationship and have spent much of today trying to backtrack and slow things down.
I don't think it's a relationship really, i don't remember agreeing to anything anyway. In fact I'm not sure there was much conversation once he got back to my place, apart from the obligatory 'what you into then?', another thing that almost put me off him, i hate guys who ask that question.
To make me feel even worse, he is like the happiest person in the world today and has already sent me three text messages in the past 45 minutes, and he only left an hour ago.
When did i give him my mobile number?, why did i give him my mobile number?

Bloody hell, I've done it again haven't i ?.

Weeeeeekkeeeeennndd !!!!!!

Friday night and suddenly I'm in a better mood than i was Monday morning.
Funny that eh?.
Anyways no time to be writing things I'm getting ready to go out.
Here instead is a picture of what i expect to see when i get up tomorrow morning.

Pictures

I was thinking of posting the odd picture on here to spice things up.

But when i looked in my picture folder i couldn't find anything appropriate that wouldn't require a warning added to the intro of this blog.
I don't know why i have porn of my computer hard drive.
There is tons of it on the net, so why do i bother downloading it when all i need to do is log on (if you will excuse the pun).

I suppose it's favourite pictures and what I'm in the mood to look at, at the time.
There can be nothing more frustrating as looking for something that will turn you on than having to flick through hundreds of pictures to find something that stimulates a fantasy.
women think that men can get turned on by anything, but i don't think that's true.
Maybe I'm too much of a connoisseur when it comes to porn.
I need something to hit the button, and unfortunately the button keeps moving, what i fancy one night may change the next.

Imagine what it would be like if you were my boyfriend, poor sod.

Gourmet food

I bumped into the neighbour from hell tonight.
We ignored each other and didn't speak. But we both went out of our way to make sure we saw each other and I'm laughing now as i think how stupid it was.

It really is like kids in school.

Then Daniel came round for a Dingy meal.
Roughly translated this means that he came round for a microwave Tesco Chicken Dinner.
Which are surprisingly good. 3 for £4.50 and all you need to do is add a Yorkshire Pudding and your away with a full nosh up.
Potatoes, Gravy, Carrots peas, even stuffing. And all ready in about 9 minutes straight from the freezer.
God we live an exciting life don't we?
Anyways this is how i shop now.. Budget washing powder, that actually rots the stitching in some of my cloths, so must stop buying that stuff, and budget grub.
Tesco also do 5 Budget frozen meals for £ 5.00, cheap washing up liquid and Country Barn Wheat Biscuits, that look and taste like Weetabix at half the price.

20p saved here, 50p saved there and before you know it you have enough for a bottle of bud or two at the weekend.
Well you didn't hink i was saving it for a rainy day did you ?.

Job Prospects

I have applied for a new Job today, i am sick of working where i am now.
But like a complete idiot i am applying for a similar job doing the same thing in a different boring office.
The only difference will be a little bit more money and hopefully different people.
I can't afford to do anything else. i can't afford not to work. If i go on the dole i lose everything i have.
So if it comes up i just hope it's not a case of 'out of the frying pan into the fire'.

Something to fall back on

It's all my head

Feel me

Met Ben, a friend i haven't seen since school. He was with his brother Jack who is blind.

Jack has been blind since birth and i have met him a couple of times when he was younger. But he is now about 14 and i didn't recognise him. He is one of those blind people who has strange looking eyes, so you can tell he is blind as soon as you meet him.

That might sound a harsh statement to make, but i once knew an old guy who went blind in his 50's and apart from slight fogging of his eyeballs you wouldn't really know until you saw him moving around.

It got me thinking. How do people who have been blind since birth distinguish sexuality ?.
He doesn't know what light and dark is, or colours or things like clouds, even a fly means nothing to him because he can't touch it and get a point of reference.
How can you tell the difference between men and women without actually getting to feel them. and when you do, what about gay and straight?. You surely can 't go by sound.

One of the women at work has a deep voice and sounds like a man. Some of my mates sound like women. Some men are hairy and others smooth. Unless you have a good feel you can't tell can you?
This is the way my mind works sometimes. I have some ridiculous thought and then run with it for the rest of the day.
And in my thoughts feeling my way round people generally means touching up something like this. Not realistic is it?
Even when i have a serious though provoking idea, sex rears it's ugly head and takes over again.

Calm

No sign of the neighbour today. all quiet on the Western front.

But my hand is swollen so a very short post tonight.

I don't think Muhammad Ali ever had this problem. Then again, he didn't fight Joe Bugner over an empty crisp packet being left on the stairs did he?.

On Hand

My hand still kills from the other night.
The middle finger especially, and as i work on computers all day this is gonna make things difficult next week.
But worse than all that my wrist hurts like hell and at one point i though it was broken it.

Why am i typing here then you may say ?. Well actually resting it on something eases the pain for some weird reason.
Besides there is a major setback to this painful hand thing.
It's my right hand, and i use my right hand for lots of interesting things when i go to bed at night.
Not now.
Have you ever tried wanking off with the other hand ?. I'm not ambidextrous so it's all over the bloody place. I feel like the guy in that Fatboy slim video

Fatboy Slim - Push The Tempo
Uploaded by 103clips

Fight

The last time i had a fight was when i was at school i think.

It's something you don't do when you grow up, or at least it's something you don't act out anyway. I'm sure i have had many punch ups in my dreams with people i meet in my daily life that i have crossed me, but not in reality.

Tonight was different.
The neighbour from hell was waiting for me when i got home from work. I had been expecting this and was ready. I didn't sleep a wink last night and half expected to see him this morning, but no. So i spent most of the day brewing over it and was ready for him when i got to the bottom of the steps.
I was as worked up as he was and if i am honest i jumped down his throat before he even got started.

I told him to shift his fucking rubbish for my steps or i would ram it down his throat. Not a good start to a full and frank discussion on how we can avoid conflict on this difficult situation.
So he went to punch me, and that was it.

I don't know if you have ever hit anyone in the face with your fist before but it's not like in the movies. For starters it hurts. Not them, YOU
I nearly broke my bloody hand and it's not as if i managed to get a good swing out of it.
I'm struggling to type this because my hand is swelling a bit and my middle finger kills.
So to cut a long story short we scuffled about a bit and then it turned all girly with him picking up a stick and me pulling his hair and trying to kick him in the bollocks.
His wife came out and was screaming and it all sort of fizzled out from that.

We both separated and walked in different directions throwing threats at each other.
I was gonna break his neck if i see so much as a crisp packet on my steps and he is gonna burn my flat down with me and everyone in it.
It was nothing like fight club, more like watching two bald men fighting over a comb.

Pathetic.
But it's put me right off my weekend now and I'm stopping in tonight.
I don't feel like partying, i feel like going downstairs for round two. Besides i don't want to come home and find a burnt out shell.
I don't think it will happen. That's the good thing about living above someone who threatens such things. If he flames my flat, his goes up as well.
Twat.
I might sleep in in the shower tonight (LOL).

Trouble brewing

I'm having trouble with one of my neighbours.

His wife seems ok, but he is a bit of an arsehole. I have no idea why, but he just seems to be looking for trouble all the time. You can't even speak to him normally without him taking offence.
I once said good morning to him when i first moved in and his reply was, and i quote.
"what the fuck do you mean by that ?".
He must have something wrong with his hearing, if you say hello, he seems to hear fuck you.
He now thinks it acceptable to pile loads of rubbish on the steps up to my flat so that i, or anyone wanting to visit me, can't get up without either shifting it or climbing over the top.

I have mentioned it to his wife, who was quite nice about it, but tonight i have heard then rowing about it all.
The walls in this place are like paper so if anyone raises a voice you can hear it loud and clear, i can hear next doors TV and farting sounds from the guy above, so a full blown row is like being in the same room.

He said he was gonna have a word with me tomorrow and sort me out.
This is probably not a bad thing because i will be prepared for it. I'm shit at confrontation when i'm not ready for it. But if i can get worked up for it and know what i want to say or do i'm different.

So we will see what tomorrow brings.
If i don't blog tomorrow night i'm either in hospital, under arrest or dead.

Back to the Gym

When i was at school i was really involved in gymnastics. My mates were more interested in football ,but i preferred being inside rather that freezing my bollocks off out in the pissing rain chasing a ball round a pool of mud.

Then i got old enough to go out with my mates and suddenly on Tuesday nights i had something more important i wanted to do.
Now i wished i had kept up with things a bit more, but most of the other guys all stopped as well so i wasn't the only one. It was mainly the girls who stuck at it really.

But i have been given the opportunity to join one of these old mates for old time sake helping at his local gym. He said he can get me in for free and if it all works out it will mean i get to use some of the equipment for free.
I packed in attempting to be a gym bunny a while back because i couldn't afford it.
I won't be paid, but a little help with towels and cleaning here and there and I'm in this place for bugger all.

Anything for nothing, that's my motto.

Caught in the act

I have been online tonight looking at porn, let's face it that's what the net was invented for. Never mind research and shit, it's naked flesh and sex that people are looking for most of the time.
Well i am anyways.
After about 10 minutes there was a knock at the door and i went to answer it.
Unfortunately i forgot to knock off the screen so there was a big black guy with a massive erection staring out my monitor as i invited Daniel and Steve in.
To make things worse there was a box of tissues by the computer.

Something tells me this will not be forgotten and this story will be repeated by them for many years to come.

Still it could have been worse,it could have been my Mum.

A little bit of charity

Back to bloody work again today, but at lunchtime i met a friend who wanted to look round a new charity shop that has opened near by.

Most people i know who go to charity shops are not interested in charity, they just want something cheap.

She spent £15.00 and came out with a complete wardrobe -of cloths-, a stack of plates. three fruit bowls, a picture frame, a paint roller and tray(?) two books and a set of tea/coffee/sugar jars.

Then, when she handed over the money and but them into black bin liners she looked at me as if to say 'how the hell am i gonna get this lot home on the bus?'.

Then she said "how the hell am i gonna get this lot home on the bus?" and looked at me with sad cow eyes, which is secret girly code for, please will you help me kind sir ?

Typical shopaholic. her eyes were to big for her shopping bag.

Pretty people

I am trying to resist posting dirty pictures, everyone seems to be doing it on gay themed blogs.
Are there any where people write things and talk about themselves?. I seem to be missing them if there are. I can easily land on a page with lots of naked men, but try look out for one with written stuff about themselves and they are very rare.
It seems that gay men are only interested in posting flesh to look at on the net. God forbid they should actually type something for people to read, or actually read what someone else has written come to think of it.
But pretty people are everywhere so i can't resist pinching clean pictures off other blogs and pasting them on here.
Something to look at in between writing about my boring life can't do this blog any harm can it?.

Out and about

A group of guys came into the pub last night, it turned out they were from some local amateur rugby team.
They were pestering two women who sat near us and at one point were getting a bit offencive with their suggestions.
Most of these men where absolute dogs, but two of them were very nice and they were the ones who were the most vocal about wanting to take the girls home with them.
We moved to another room after a while because it looked like it was all about to kick off and we didn't want to be stuck in the middle of it all.
But when we eventually went home at the end of the night who should be stood outside with the two gobby drunk rugby guys ? the two women of course.
Some women like a bad boy, or were they just looking for something else ?.

Is there anybody out there ?

Spent most of today tidying up the house. How sad does that sound ?. A holiday weekend and I'm vacuuming the front room and doing some washing, LOL.

This is not what i had planned for this weekend. I wanted a couple of parties, lots of drink and plenty of sex.

Perhaps i could have eventually met my soul mate and lived happily ever after.
Where is he ?

They say there is someone for everyone, but i suspect my soul mate lives on the other side of the world in a little town i have never heard of, with no Internet access and he never even leaves his house.
So the chances of us ever meeting are slim to nil.
Thinking about it, i don't know many gay men who stay together. I don't have many friends who have partners long term.
Most seem to get together, party, have lots of sex and then get bored with each other, or fall out because one of them slept with someone else.
Is this the future for me ?.

Public Holiday

It's a bank holiday weeeeeeeeekend so that means no work for three days.
Glory be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and to make things even better, the sun has come out.
Time to party.
No time for writing things, so here come some pictures instead.

Smoke

At lunchtime today i took a walk round the shops just to get out for a bit and noticed a couple of guys smoking outside Boots.

One of them watched me walk all the way down the street and couldn't keep his eyes off me. He looked quite nice and there was something about the way he stood with a cig in his gob that attracted my eye, so i decided to acknowledge this by smiling at him.
All i needed was a little sign that he was interested back and i was ready to pounce.

I got a bit closer and he winked and said hi.
BINGO !

He put his fag out and came over whilst i was preparing various chat up lines, but he suddenly said,
it's Michael isn't it ?
Yeh it is.
Don't you remember me ?
No
We met at Steve's Birthday party, I'm Lucy's Boyfriend.
Shit! shit! shit!.