Drive

Had a really long day today. I nearly didn't post anything in fact. In 10 minutes time i'll be in bed hard on. That's a northern expression by the way for been fast asleep. Nothing sexual, i'm too tired for that, well maybe a quickie just to send me off to sleep.

Day two of my new job and it's heads down, and zone in on the work at hand. Actually the day flys by when you are busy, but it's mentally tiring. Driving for two hours a day doesn't help.
On my way home tonight i saw a guy in the next lane shouting into a blue tooth headset. No idea what he was saying but whoever was on the other end was getting it, i know how he feels.

I'm not a fan of driving, maybe if i had a big flash car it would be ok, but sitting in my smelly little banger isn't the same. Turning the heater up when it gets cold, then having to turn it down again 60 seconds later because it's suddenly like a sauna. CDs all over the passenger seat and almost crashing the car searching for a mint in the glove box. white van man driving up my arse and some toss pot overtaking on the inside or pulling into a space you are keeping in front of you to keep your distance from the driver in front. Traffic jams for what seems to be no reason whatsoever. One minute your at a standstill, the next minute we all start moving again. No traffic lights or roadworks, just nothing in front. Why did we stop and get all jammed up like that ?

Huge advertisement posters that have half naked models on them to distract you from the road and almost drive up the arse of the car in front. and even though it's a new journey i have done that thing where you seem to go on automatic pilot for certain parts of the drive.
I must have gone over that flyover but i don't remember it. My mind was somewhere else and i just sort of did. Scary really.

I can't see me doing this for long. I'm moving closer to work one way or another.

Brave New World

I feel knackered, but i need to post today just to wind down. And what a momentous day this has been. Well for me anyway. I think it will be boring to read about so I’ll whip through the highlights.
Went to see about a mortgage to buy a house. I can have one, and I can (just about)afford it so I’ll speak to my parents and will make a decision this week.
Drove for an hour in crap traffic and started my new job this morning, then an hour home in the same shite traffic to get back again, so the moving home option is a good one.

I might try a different journey tomorrow though or perhaps start earlier and work a bit later to avoid the rush hour.
Anyway it seemed quite nice. There are four of us in the office (excluding the boss)

Kath is an oldish lady, quite small and petite, prim and proper, posh and ladylike. I can’t see me exchanging many fart jokes with her.

Duncan is in his 40s, and the stereotypical sales rep come office comedian. He actually says things like ‘blue sky thinking’ and ‘ball park figure”. But he also makes his own shit ones up like “let’s kick some ideas around and see if we can score some goals with it”…what the fuck ?.

Jean is a tall plain looking woman in her 30s who wears no makeup and has hair that looks like she has been dragged through a hedge backwards. She wears cloths that make her look frumpy, is obviously a very clean person, but seems to have given up on trying to impress anyone . She is in work cloths, not on a catwalk and there is obviously no-one in the vicinity she cares to impress. But I’m pretty sure she would look stunning with a bit of effort because she is actually very attractive. Shes funny and nice to work with so that’s the most important bit.

David is about 50, bald, plump, wears thick glasses, rosey cheeks, bad teeth and on the verge of looking scruffy. Imagine the stereotype image of a pedophile and that is David's look. He isn’t though….i don’t think.
He is actually a very nice and very clever man. However he seems to have problems translating his intelligence into words. I think he’s shy or nervous around people, He can’t talk without stuttering gibberish, You have a fair idea what he is talking about but he's like a child trying to blurt it all out all at once. You just wanna tell him to slow down, think about what he wants to say then start again. If you didn’t know him you’d think he was a bit thick. He sounds it. But 5 minutes in and you realise he’s the cleverest person in the room.
A typical question from David would go as follows. “can you…? er, can you take the, er that, can you take this here up this take this file to, can you take this file er this file up to the er, ……… no it’s ok come to think of it, I’ll take it I need to speak to him myself”
Eh !!?
Lovely man though.

And then there is Ryan. He is a little cutie. (I'm ashamed i wrote that word. I hated it when people used that phrase on me so i shouldn't with him). He's 17 (las friday) and is the office Junior. Can blush at the drop of a hat, is as shy as they come and has absolutely no idea ! that he is drop dead gorgeous and could probably pull woman, man, animal or vegtable if he wanted to. Blond hair (ish, more mousy really), blue eyes ( or green, i'm not sure yet), slim, perfect teeth, you name it, a twink lovers wet dream. But shy as hell, no girlfriend, doesn't drink, never goes out, sits in his bedroom listening to music and playing computer games all night. There is something about attractive people who don't know it. For some reason it makes them even more attractive. Just like Attractive people who do know it, can suddenly become ugly.

According to Jean, who knows his mum, when he gets home from work he has his tea, then disappears up into his bedroom and doesn't re appear again until work again the next morning. Weekends he spends in bed, and he has about 3 friends who are all the same.
When girls flirt he doesn't notice and if you point it out he blushes. No mention of whether he is gay or not, but why assume that someone is gay because they don't show enough attention to women ?. Sometime people are genuinely shy. His eyes are so clear and beautiful i can't imagine spending all the time watching telly can effect your eyesight that much.
As much as i think he's lovely, he's a bit too boyish for my liking. He is 17 i suppose, i imagine he is still going through the sticky bedsheets phase. LOL.

And that is my new world in a nutshell people. We will have to see how things develop. I'm not sure i like the traveling already, but beggars can't be choosers.

Manchester by night

Aren't people who frequent the Internet weird ?. I was reading a piece about the sad death of Boyzone singer Stephen Gatley before i started to type this, Most of the comments below the news were from guys arguing about whether he was Irish or British. "MArk, go out and buy an Atlas. Ireland is neither a part of the UK nor a part of Great Britain. IT has been an independent country since 1921.Boyzone are Irish.apart from idiots here not knowing basic world geography.... blah blah"

It made me laugh. I was never a fan of Boyzone but he's just fuckin died!. I imagine a groups of old acid queens sitting at a funeral complaining about the wrong kind of flowers. (by the way Boyzone are Irish)

Anyway on to my weekend. Went out with Daniel and Howard last night. It was a great night until Daniel had too much to drink and got all maudlin about me moving away.

I thought he was gonna cry at one point and he sounded one step away from that "your my best mate you are" thing that drunks do.

I reminded him that I'm not moving to the other end of the earth and i would be coming back. Plus, he can come over to see me as well.

But as neither he nor Howard have a car at the moment there seems a slim chance that will happen. And it also seem hypocritical of me to be saying all that considering how dithery i have been about moving away for exactly the same reasons. Anyway, he was sick and he went into a coma so we dragged him into a taxi legs first and took him home.

To top things off i saw Jack as we waited for the taxi. He didn't see me, he was with a group of guys. I could have called out and said hi, but i decided to let it go and ignore him.

Besides we were all distracted by the fattest women in the world wearing the smallest dress known to man. It was straining at the seams and I'm convinced that should she have sat down the whole fucking thing would have popped like a balloon, leaving her starkers to the world. The only people who should wear tight things are those with tight bodies to go with them. I spied plenty of them last night. Fucking freezing, in t shirts, Brilliant !.

One guy stood next to us who looked attractive from a distance, but when he got close he stunk of sweat. Not nice fresh sweat, that three days old stuff that reeks. He had a tattoo of Homer Simpson on his shoulder and an earring that had the words "hot cock" on it.

The things you see in Manchester sometimes.

I once overheard someone say that the worst tattoo they had ever seen was on a guys arse. It was a British bulldog cartoon complete with German helmet and carrying a riffle. The gun was pointing towards the arsehole and a large speech balloon was coming out of the dogs mouth which said "come on out, we know your in there"

To Buy or not to Buy

I'm hit with a little quandary today.
I have been given the opportunity to BUY a house. Apart from all the question marks hanging over whether i will actually like this new job or not. The offer is a good one.

A woman friend of my Mum is selling her mothers house. She died earlier in the year and wants rid of it because she her self has moved abroad. It's been on sale since February now and she has lowered and lowered the price with no success. It's in Halifax and as she knows my mum so i'm first in the queue if i want it and she is prepared to sell to me at a stupid price because i'm a first time buyer and there would be no chain.

It would probably skin me to the bone to do it and i'll be taking my bills to the extreme, but on the other hand This is a massive offer too good to miss on a proper house and will be something that is mine. Before you start thinking why buy when you can rent ?. This place has a proper garage and garden, two bedrooms and a box room office. It's more of a family home really and far too big for me. But the price is a stunner and it's only because she is a friend of my mums and she is looking for a quick sale. "Never mind buying it to live in, this would be worth buying just to sell on" said my dad. I need to decide this week if i want it though so she can go back to France.

At the moment it's the only reason she comes back to the UK, to sort out her dead mothers estate.

I spoke to my fabulous new boss and asked him if i could arrange a long lunch one day next week to sort this out and he told me to arrange something for Monday. Which considering i haven't even started yet and i'm already asking for time off is a good omen for me, if not him.

This is all far to sensible for me, but i need to at least look into it. I have an appointment with a pensions advisor on Monday and he may say i have no chance of borrowing that kind of dosh, but if he does i'm still unsure whether i want to do this or not.
Have lots of money and live in rent. Or have no money and buy what looks like a lovely house at a snip ?.

Things are moving too fast, but it's all exciting i suppose. For me anyway, even if it's not for you.

Don't worry i'll get back to the descriptions of drunken sex again when i get chance LOL

More about Steve

I don't feel too bad today.
I woke up really early though, which is unusual for me. Then i went over to where i will be working from next week. It took me a bloody hour to get there by the way, which is a little scary when you think it wasn't rush hour.
Anyway i didn't do any work but i had a coffee with the boss and he showed me round.
I just sort of nodded at people and said hello to most of them, I was only there for about an hour, i'll learn more next week.
I met one guy called David from the warehouse. He was a bit weird, i'm not sure he was all there. The lights were on but no one was home if you get my meaning.
He told me about a health insurance policy he had just taken out (as if i'm interested) and said, without any sense of irony or humour "even if i fell into a mincing machine i would be ok, i'm completely covered", that's nice to know i suppose when they bury you as a sausage.

Talking of sausages, i remembered a bit more about the other night with that Steve bloke. I promise i am not making this up, but he had a sausage that he called Derek ! Let me repeat that last sentence for you just in case you think you misread it. He had a SAUSAGE that he called Derek. It was on a fence outside his house. He had cooked it during a barbecue and no one ate it, so he stuck it in a condom, drew a face on it in felt tip and pricked it on a nail by the door.
Whenever he left the house or came home again he always said hello to Derek and insisted that anyone visiting do the same.
Derek was now looking more like a condom full of shit to be honest but he still waved at Derek and told me to wave as well. The man is a nutter, but very funny.
Saying that i think he might be a bit of a thug, there was a mobile Phone sticking out of the wall in his bedroom, he threw it in a rage one day and it stuck in the plasterboard. It's been there ever since.

He uses the "C" word constantly. C**t is the new fuck i think. But it's not said for effect. It's as if it's just a normal word for him. When there is just you and him it seems to go over your head and doesn't really register, but when there is someone else around it stands out like a sore thumb and you wanna tell him to lower his voice a bit. He speaks really loudly and can talk across people winning any battle for attention in a conversation.
In the bedroom hes like an animal, he doesn't do any of the kissy kissy stuff, it's just gratuity and if i'm honest a bit sinister at times. The expression on his face isn't that of someone making love, it's more like a murderer in the middle of a kill. But the big turn on for me (and this is a confession) was the fact that he was very verbal. No silence and what you into crap. He knew what he wanted and whilst he was doing it was telling you what he would also like to do to you if he manages to get round to it. There was a few of those things that i insisted he didn't even think about doing, but he just laughed and said he was playing.

Drugs are involved and that obviously has something to do with it. He is Bisexual so i don't really know what the score is with him or if i'll ever see him again. When he left he told me he might come over to see me sometime with his "bird".
I know i should really see this as a one off and move on, but if i'm honest he is quite interesting and exciting. It's purely sexual and nothing to do with relationships etc. But i'm still thinking about him even now.
If i rang him up for all i know he might just tell me to piss off.

Anyways it's Friday so i'm out tonight with Daniel and Howard. Time to get wrecked again ;-)

Suffering

For every up there is a down. I'm suffering the down today...........

Playing with the Bad Boys

Idle hands make something something something for the devil..... what is that saying now ?.

I don't know, but it more or less means that if you have nothing to do your gonna be naughty.

I can't explain all my activities over the past 24 hours for legal reasons but lets just say i wouldn't tell my mum.

All i need to do now is appear in a porn movie, get gang banged by a group of black men and win the lottery then all my dreams and fantasy's will have been fulfilled.

Not really, but you get the idea. I know i should write about it, but best not.

And i still have Thursday and Friday to go yet. Ian is a bad influence. His mate Steve is even worse. Steve is 28 and fit as a butchers dog as my dad would say. He will shag anything that moves, take any drug offered and talk the hind legs off a donkey (another of my dads sayings)

I just spent some time with this dodgy character and I'm pretty sure it's best i steer clear of him in future. What i will say is that he has a really hard toned body, and has never heard of the phrase 'make love'. to him sex is a four letter word that starts with an F and ends in a K.

Why am i attracted to dodgy fellas ? a sense of danger in my otherwise boring life.

I always play safe, but nothing is safe really is it ?.

This guy swings both ways and likes to splash it all over.

Too much information i hear you say. I'm slightly drunk and i need to go to bed now before i turn this post into unnecessary gratuity.

Having it off

I think i could really get into this not working lark.
I got up at 1pm today and i feel all refreshed. I have a week off but nothing planned. This is when Jack would have come in handy. As it is, its me cummin in my own handy.

Daytime TV is shit so there is no point in staying in. I'm not doing up my house, cooking or wanting to sell antiques so i don't see anything worth watching.
I have decided to go out this afternoon. I'm gonna visit everyone in know and like by tonight, whether they are in or not. I'm sure they won't like it because i never do when someone turns up unannounced, but i'm only popping in to say hello.
Ian will be around this afternoon (he doesn't work) so i'll go there first.
I just hope none of his druggy friends are around again. If i hadn't been so lazy i could have met Rachel for lunch, but i was in the land of nod. Sometimes bed is a wonderful place. If it's cold out and raining outside and your warm and snuggled up in bed drifting in and out of consciousness it's bliss.
I never want to go to bed at night, but when it's morning i never wanna get up.
How these people manage to wake up and get up almost instantly is beyond me. I could get up, have a shower, dress and have breakfast. And still climb back into bed and go to sleep.

I once tried jumping out of bed as soon as the alarm went off. I was nearly sick. i felt terrible. i had to have a lie down again just to get my balance back LOL.
Anyways i'm rambling now.
Off to Ians....Laters everyone.

Sacked

I have been asked to leave. No point in working to the end of the week

"i would prefer it if you fucked off now mate". Charming!. I'm happy though, as long as i'm paid till the end of the week i don't care.

I rang the new place straight away and asked them if they wanted me sooner, he said it would be best if i waited until next week to start (Monday). So that means i have a paid week off.

Hurrah !

Now i know that means i should probably been sorting things and getting ready for next week, But balls to all that. Next week will be when i'm up to my eyes in it. This week is party time.

I have had the afternoon off and am bored sitting in already.

What dirty deeds can i get up to tonight ?.

Mmmmmm

Gay Groups

I had an email from someone last night, sending me the address of the local Gay support group for when i move. Which was a nice thing to do but not something I would be interested in.

If you are a member of one of these support groups you might not want to read this next bit, and I apologise before hand for my comments.
A couple of years ago in my coming out phase I toyed with the idea of going to one of these meetings to get to know people. I didn‘t have the guts to go through with it but in the bumf i read on the net it said that after the meeting they all usually went on to a certain pub for a couple of drinks afterwards to socialise and get to know people more, and anyone interested was welcome to join them.
So I went for a drink in the same pub at the same time to observe and see what they would be like.

All I could see was a man with a beard in a anorak, two extremely camp guys laughing loudly, two lesbians holding hands and three bald men in their sixties wearing suits. I can’t say they were all part of the group and perhaps they didn’t bother going to the pub this particular night so none of them were actually members, but if put me off completely. I wanted people I could relate to, not this lot. It was like the Adams Family.
I know that is insulting to a group of people who are doing their best to help others, but it’s how I felt at the time.

It's a bit like going on a blind date. Much better to meet people naturally in my mind. I'll either meet them myself or i won't.
Besides even getting my end away and finding totty is currently at the back of my mind at the moment.

And i never thought i would ever hear myself say that !.

Searching for somewhere to live

Now that it's all systems go i went over to have a look at some places that are up for rent. My mum & dad came with me for advice and we spent a weird morning driving round places judging whether the area was suitable of scruffy.

Suddenly your being judgmental of people. The building might look ok, but suddenly someone walks past who looks like a tramp and puts you off. litter on the pavement is a bad omen and a burnt out car with kids jumping up and down on it is another (i made the last one up of course).

I did manage to look at one place that seemed ok on the outside, but derelict on the inside. Then one that looked derelict on the outside and ok in.

I know from this flat that i live in now that its nothing really anything to do with the place itself. "it's all cosmetic" as my dad said. "nothing a lick of paint or a good tidy round won't fix". It's the neighbours that make a place worth living in. My neighbour from hell below is testament to that. I've only just got him trained now. We have a sort of understanding. I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine. We tolerate each other and that is fine by me. I just want someone quiet who will wave and say hello to me when passing. I don't want them knocking on my door or inviting me in. I just want a friendly stranger that's all.

There is a large Pakistani or Indian area in Halifax. It's a bit like Bradford and although its ok during the day i'm told it's a bit of a no go area at night. But then i spoke to a Pakistani man and he told me about a predominantly BNP type area of white people that is exactly the same, ok during the day, but you would want to go for a stroll through it at night.

It's early days but i'm looking.

One funny thing happened, It was windy today and when my mum came out of a shop her dress blew up revealing her knickers for a few seconds. Both she and i found it hilarious because there were a couple of teenage boys sat on a wall outside who saw it and they looked shocked. My father was mortified and telling her to cover herself up. Him being disgusted and embarrassed made it seem even funnier. All my mum could say was "it's a good job i had 'em on today isn't it?"

I know this will offend some of you but....

This caught my eye when surfing the net last night, and instead of thinking how terrible it was i actually made up my own fantasy from it and had a good wank. Is it bad of me ?. should i really be thinking pervy thoughts about such a serious thing like this ?.

I'm ashamed. Fantasy and reality are poles apart but i genuinely looked up on google maps to see where it is for future reference. How bad am i ?. I'm not even sure i should be blogging about things like this. But in my defence i was the victim not the perpetrator in the fantasy wank.

Reading that back it doesn't really make it sound any better does it ?. Perhaps i should keep some of my pervy thoughts to myself in future LOL.

The secrets out

Spoke to Daniel and Howard last night over a couple of pints. Howard was very positive and happy for me, but i thought Daniel spent most of the time pointing out the down side of things.

But that's him all over. If you are on your arse Daniel can be a brilliant person to have around, he can be really positive and point out all the good things in your life, make you feel good about yourself and steer you in the right direction by getting you up off the floor. But when you have made up your mind and have a positive thing you are gonna do, he goes the other way and points out all the things you should be careful of. He's negative when you are positive and positive when you are negative. It's fucking annoying sometimes.

I spoke to the boss today about leaving. It went down like a lead balloon. "Oh Fucking brilliant! Thank you very much!, that really helps that does" was the reply. I'm not sure i will last the end of the week. The guy has been a real tosser today and i don't get the impression i will be taking any kind of reference with me anyway.

His wife wasn't in today so she will find out tonight when he gets home i assume. I work with her more than him so i wonder how she's gonna be tomorrow ?.

PS....... Thanks

Just one last note,

Thanks for all your advice and support over the past few days, I do read your comments and i have taken in everything everyone has written. It did help and i did make my choice from taking note off all your comments.

I know that people assume that posting comments on blogs are just an ignored bit of text at the bottom. In my case it isn't true.

I'll drink to your health later ;-)

Drinkies

Got absolutely wrecked last night. I said i was in the mood didn't i ?.
I feel shattered now but have arranged to go out with Daniel. Rachel did bring her boyfriend which was entertaining, he's as fit as fuck and it did take my mind off things. He wore a nice tight t shirt that was probably to small for him, this meant that when he lifted his arms up for whatever reason it revealed his bellybutton and the top of his undies. Yum.
If Rachel ever knew i felt like this she would kill me.
Anyway i told her my news and she was very positive about it. I'm not sure if her reasons were for the good though. She does drink in Halifax every now and then so it would be good to have someone living close who could put her up for the night.
On the other hand if she sleeps on the sofa and i sleep with the totty i'm happy with that.
I haven't said anything at work yet. That comes tomorrow. I spoke to my new boss and went through a few details. He did say he would speak to his wife about rented properties or if i thought about buying she could help there as well, so that's nice.
Time to get smashed again, Daniel is due in an hour so i betta get me glad rags on hadn't i?.

Moving on

Right that's it, it's make your mind up time.
In for a penny, in for a pound, whatever that means (my dad says it, WTF?). I'm gonna take the plunge.
I'll ring the guy up tonight and go through a few details. Then lets change the subject shall we ?.
My mouth is like a wrestlers Jockstrap and i need a drink, i rang Rachel and we are going local for a couple tonight where i can tell her my big news.
Hopefully she will bring her boyfriend so that will take my mind off things completely.
I spoke to my mum again this lunch time and thanked her for the offer. I'll bare it in mind. The first priority is to start the job.
I'm actually looking forward to handing in my notice if i am honest. That will be fun won't it?. I wonder what the reaction will be?.

Decision time

I have been formally offered the job in Halifax. If I want it he would like me to let him know by Wednesday one-way or the other. I would need to work my notice with my current employer so that would mean I couldn’t start till mid October.
My head is spinning. I don’t know what the fuck to do. I never slept a wink last night and have had to speak to my mum again today about their offer.
If I take it to the extreme I am suddenly looking in the face of new job, new home, new friends, new every fucking thing.
And I have till Wednesday to decide. The clock is ticking and I keep swinging from one decision to another.

I have had people say, ‘give it a go and see what you think’, or ‘travel for a bit and see how that works out’. But I don’t believe in doing things by half. If I go for this job, I go for it properly, it’s not something to try out and then dump if I don’t like it. It’s not fair on them and what the hell do I do afterwards? I will be out of work. And if I do it properly then it’s no good trying to travel from one side of Oldham to the other side of Halifax every bloody day, I’m bound to end up late at least once, especially not that winter is approaching and i have to travel over the tops to get there. I would need to move, even if it's just a little bit closer.
I need time to think.

On the other hand i have decided that once i have made my mind up i will drop all the uncertainty crap. If i go for it, i need to be positive and really make a move, if i decide not to then i shouldn't look back and think about what might have been.

I'll decide tomorrow and ring him tomorrow night. After that this blog will change drastically from the boring job stories onto my fun things. i need cheering up.

I spoke to Daniel. We go for a drink Wednesday night whether he likes it or not, I know it's mid week but i need one.

An offer i can't refuse ?

I stopped in last night. I didn't have to, but i though i needed time on my own and think a bit. In the end i spent that thinking time trawling the net for porn and logging on to Gaydar for the first time in what seems like forever.
I even had a look to see if there was anyone on from Halifax. LOL, it's pathetic isn't it?. But all this pales into insignificance to todays events.

I feel a bit strange this afternoon to be honest. To say I am upset would be wrong. Neither am I happy, but something weird happened when I went to see my dad today and it almost made me cry like a baby
I spoke about the job prospects in Halifax and the fact that I might have to consider moving etc. My dad listened to all this and then started offering proper parental advice. The sort that dads do for sons they care about.
He suggested that I need to be thinking seriously about my future and that I am better than the job I have at the moment (he knows I hate it).
I felt a bit chocked up when he said all he wanted was for me to be happy. I had to go for a wee otherwise I would have ended up blubbing. In fact he went to make a cup of tea at the same time, probably because he looked like he was gonna end up doing the same.

Then came the final shocker. My dad thinks that house prices are at rock bottom. They have a little money put away and would be happy for me to use it as a deposit on somewhere small if I needed to find somewhere to live. They didn’t want me living in a rented flat with a dead end job, unhappy and wasting my life away.
I nearly chocked on my cuppa. It was a very emotional moment. It was all a bit manly and northern mind you, we didn’t give each other a hug or anything like that. I didn’t even shake his hand when I left; we just sort of gave each other a look that said we both understand.

I am stunned. And I don’t know what to think. The job may never happen, I might not look for somewhere else to live. I might even turn down their generous offer. But more important than all that, in fact more important than anything that has ever happened to me over the past few years, by dad showed some sort of concern and offered me something that has the possibilities to change my life.
Even if I don’t take it, I am gob smacked that it was offered. I feel humble and I do feel upset about it actually, as I write this I have a little tear in my eye, it's pathetic. I know he will never accept my sexuality, but I get the feeling he does care and that’s all I need right now. Anyway parents should never have anything to do with their kid’s sex lives no matter which way they swing so what’s the big deal?
Suddenly things have taken a strange turn, I have spent the last week thinking about this job and how it will affect my life, but in the end something more important was waiting in the wings.

Just think Two weeks ago I was with Jack and trundling along as normal, now everything looks to be turning upside down.

New Job

Sorry to bore you with news about my job prospects rather than a drunken sex and sinful night out on a Friday but it’s an important thing in my life at the moment. I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I drove to Halifax and spent a morning and much of the afternoon in the office of the company I am thinking of joining. It was a brilliant day outside and there was me sat in an office, typical.

It’s always a bit awkward when you are new, but it was ok. The boss seemed a vast improvement on my current one (but that’s not exactly saying much is it?) and the lady I would be working with, who is part time, was there. She also seemed ok to. But I didn’t come away all excited and wanting to start on Monday. It was just a pleasant morning doing something new. The conversation didn’t flow because I was busy trying to impress and she was trying to be professional as well.
In the back of my mind is the change of area. I’m happy to go with the job but I’m not so sure about the move. If this place were in Oldham I would have jumped at the chance.

Halifax is not that far away, but it’s a bugger to get to.
And it’s the opposite side of town to where I live, so I more or less drive through Oldham and Halifax as well to get to where I wanna be.
We discussed pay and it does seem similar to the wage I am on now, but this is a starting point and it will increase in a month’s time with yearly wage reviews are every January so there is a possibility of a further increase then should things go to plan. Also, there was discussion about me moving into the area. The guy said he could help with that if decided to do that, as his wife owns some properties and rents out flats.

Anyway, he said he would discuss the job offer with the office manager this weekend and get back and make a proper decision on Monday. This means that I am gonna have to make my mind up properly next week. Am I gonna go for it, or be a wimp and stick with what I have.
I drove around the place for a little bit and bought a local paper to get a feel of it. I had no idea where i was or where i was going so i came home in the end. You need someone to advice you if you want to know whats what somewhere. I know myself from Oldham that there are some streets where i would like to live and others i wouldn't drive through at night.

I spoke to my mum and dad about it this afternoon on the phone, they knew all about it because I had told them when the idea first cropped up.
My dad asked me to call round tomorrow to chat about it, which seems a very strange thing for him to do. My contact with him has always been strained since I came out and we find it difficult to discuss the weather let alone a job. For him to ask me to come round and talk is unheard of.
I wonder what that’s all about?

Forgotten Photos

OH NO !, i forgot.
I've still got Jacks grans old photos !. Shit. I was transferring them onto a disc for her and i still have a box full. This means i am going to have to ring him.
I'm hoping he will just remind me where she lives so i can drop them off on Saturday without actually seeing him. But i don't fancy getting in touch with him so soon after we split. It makes it seem like I'm missing him already and trying to find an excuse to contact him again.
One amusing thing came from all this. I found this photo in the box. What the.....?
who the hell are they ? wouldn't it be funny if one of them was his grandad ?.

I'm getting all excited about having a meeting about this new job tomorrow. I don't know if I'm just going for an interview or if I'm actually expected to work. A bit of both i suppose. I know I'm excited because I've been to the toilet three times tonight, i always get like that when I'm apprehensive about something, sorry about that bit, to much information i hear you cry.

Quote of the day, made by my work colleague who has just started going out with a girl 15 years younger than him.
"when i was leaving school, she was just leaving her fathers ball bag"
Charming. I give it a week at the most.