Living the dream

Its been a bloody awful week at work this week. I swing from liking my job to hating it by the day. If I'm honest its not really the work its the people. To be more specific a couple of people. 

Unfortunately they are in a position of power. Although how the fuck they got there i'll never know. I can handle all the other tossers. Because i don't tolerate any crap from people at my level and below. Its just the ones from above that you can't really do anything about and they don't come any higher up than these two twats.

So to help me dream them away i do the lottery. I've been doing the lottery for years now and never won so much as a carrot. But like a idiot I keep on going. I'm buying a dream  I know. I'm not gonna win anything big. And the way things are going I'm gonna need that 69 million pound jackpot just to break even. But I've got it all planned for if i ever do. Ill ring in work the next day to tell them all to fuck off. Buy a  house, car. Holiday....etc. Split the cash with close friends and family. Stick some in a savings account and pension etc. Then spend the rest of my life enjoying giving the rest away to charities. Thats my dream.

 

Not going out

One of the men at work is leaving at the end of the week and has asked me if I'd like to join a select few of others for a drink after he finishes.

I can't think of anything worse, I like the guy but he's just a work colleague. I don't really have anything in common with him. In fact I don't think I've ever spoken to him about anything else except work. I know he's got a daughter and he plays Golf. But I have no interest in either of those things so I'm stumped. 

We once had a conversation about me being gay in which he genuinely talked about as many gay stereotypes as he could to try ingratiate himself to me. Musical theatre, The gay village in Manchester, Madonna….he even started talking about personal grooming and how gay men look after themselves better than straight. Well I've met a few scruffy gay guys in my time so that's all crap for starters.

And the others that will be there are the same. I know the first hour will be a load of men talking about sport. Football usually. And naming players I've never heard of. Who's paid what for which transfer and what do I think of (insert name here)? Do you think he'll go to Newcastle or will (insert name here) snap him up?. If anyone mentions Cricket i think id be sick.

They may as well be talking another language as far as I am concerned. I have absolutely no interest in all that crap. I don't mind watching a football match but all the rest of it is irrelevant to me. A bit like Music. I like listening to it but I don't give a shit  how they tune up their instruments or which chair the Beatles sat on to write Let it be. I never read the music press. Its all opinions thats all.

Anyway, I've decided. I'm not going.

Nice hot day todat, which would normallt mean the possibility of seeing some good looking guy with his top off. But as ususal all i saw was some skanky bloke waving a scruffy T shirt, in baggy shorts and Builders Boots. He looked like a clown on his holidays.

 

80s Pop or not

Went to see a friend of Roberts last night. She's in a band. They sound a bit 1980s with synthesisers and no guitars. It was all a bit crap really. It just reminded me of something you hear playing in the background on a old porn film. In fact it was slightly embarrassing to watch someone you know giving their all and it's not really working.

But we said they sounded great and congratulated them on their performance. I'm no Simon Cowell. It's their first gig and there were only family and friends there apart from the odd person coming in and then walking out when they heard what was going on. They performed 5 songs. Because they only had 5 songs. One of them was more of an instrumental with one of the other members wailing over the background. No lyrics, just wailing. At one point I though he'd been electricuted and needed help. But I think that was just the chorus.

Best of all they dressed up for it. Lots of makeup and what looked like bin bags fashioned into trousers and tops.

Afterwards we sat talking to her mum and having a long protracted conversation about how kids can text each other using two thumbs at 90 miles an hour. “I struggle doing it slowly with one finger” she said. Which left me biting my tong and Robert kicking me under the table. I had to go to the loo to control myself. Whilst I was there a drunk guy having a piss said ‘what was that shit they were playing?’

Her mums boyfriend is a bodybuilder. And we got talking to him for a while when I got back. Robert was practically shaking in his boots. He finds bodybuilders intimidating. I'm sure that without the cloths, prancing around in a tiny thing, he's all Muscle but when bodybuilders wear ordinary cloths and are covered up they just look fat. I once had a fiddle around with a guy who was a bodybuilder. It was weird, I felt like I was humping a brand new leather sofa. All hard and lumpy. He showed more veins in his arm than his cock.

Anyway it was a good night really. And as I was the designated driver I didn't drink so I feel great today.

Shower time

Every night when Robert gets home from work he brushes his teeth, has a shower, changes his cloths and then comes down for something to eat. He's like clockwork. 

It's quite nice really. And I'm not knocking it because he's got me into doing it as well. 

But last night the shower was broken so we couldn't use it. Bloody hell it was like taking heroin away from a drug addict, you'd think he was going cold turkey. He said he felt grubby all night and when we went to bed he didn't want be trying anything because he felt dirty and smelly. 

There's something not right with that man, we both work in an office all day it's not as if we had been working on a building site.

And beside All i wanted to do was fiddle with his dangly bits. I'd washed my hands before hand and could swill them off afterwards, job done. 

   

Relationship

It seems like forever since i posted anything on this blog. In fact its a few years and since then im now in a "relationship". I still find it difficult to say that, in a relationship. I dont know why. Its nothing to do with being gay, its just that jump from being single to getting my head around being part of a couple. His name is Robert. Not Rob, he hates that. But if i really wanna upset him i'll call him Bob.

He's the most beautiful person ive ever met. Kind, caring, funny, a bit shy, trustworthy, A bit younger than me. Blonde, smooth, nice teeth, clean (slightly OCD to be honest) and a nice sized cock!.🤗

He crosses between inteligent and stupid. The type of guy who passed everything at school but struggles to understand a joke sometimes.

I think i decided he was the one for me when i realised it was his personality and how comfortable i felt with him that attracted me to him more than the fact that he's as fit as fuck. 

I wont go into the full story of how we met and how it developed but he was looking for somewhere to live and he stayed at my place for a couple of weeks. This ended up turning into being a paid lodger and then became a more permanent thing when he started sleeping in my bed more often than his own.

But since this has happened my life has changed as well. I dont really go on the scene any more. I stay in a lot. We do things together and im not looking over his shoulder at any sexy guy that might be standing behind him (another sign that ive fallen for him).

I drink less, Watch less porn, have sorted out my pension, bought a new car, have some shares and some savings. Im turning into a really boring old fart. Im turning into my dad.

I don't really have much contact with Daniel any more. In fact im not sure whether we've fallen out or not. He's living miles away with his partner and we just dont seem to keep in contact much nowadays. I think its more to do with his new boyfriend. I went to visit them once and it was very strained. I didnt really feel very welcome. I would send him emails and it took days for him to reply. He stopped going on facebook and the contact became less and less. A phone works from both ends and ive now reached the point where i think its his turn to contact me. Im sick of being the one to see how he is. I thought id wait until he contacts me.

He never has in months.

 

 

 

Backdated Posts

For a while im gonna cut and paste some old posts from my Offline Diary and insert them into the correct dates on this blog. I dont re read stuff all the time. Maybe look back once a year. I just write things and then ignore them. So for the purposes of this blog im gonna look back over the past 12 months and see what might interest me.  Itll be difficult for you the reader because youll have to keep looking back if you wanna catch up. But its only for a few days until i get into the swing of things again.

Hello again

 

I havent been blogging for a while. Lots of things have happened since i last posted here. there have been many changes in my life.

Amonst the boring changes are how i use a computer. I dont really turn mine on much any more, im a tablet and phone man now. Which means unless i can quickly and easily blog from one of those platforms im not doing it. So ive downloaded a couple of apps and im gonna attempt posting some things for a few days to see whether i can be arsed. Ill be honest its not filling me with much hope so far. 

It's not just the typing of words, it's being able to upload pictures easily without having to piss about with how the post looks. I found one great app only to find its discontinued. The developers packed it in and its no longer supported for a Ipad.

 

Since I stopped I've continued to write things down, I just stopped posting them here. This was more of a diary than a blog anyway so I've just continued writing a diary in a word document and stored it in a private folder. 

 

Any form of computerised diary is fraught with problems. The whole point to a diary is to keep it for future reference or reading. Nowadays computer formats change, apps come and go, something you type now might not be readable in 12 months time let alone 12 years if the bastards decide their not gonna continue supporting that format or expect you to pay money to upgrade to something else. On the other hand I don't thnk I can write anything by hand any more. If I wrote the above few words in handwriting with pen and paper I'd probably struggle to read it and my wrist would probably be aching  by now. Typing is much quicker and more fun. Writing by hand is so yesterday. Anyway, lets see how this looks.

 

 

 

What happened ?

Sent a text message to Andy this lunchtime "how did you feel after Friday night ? I was absolutely arseold" got a reply back saying "I will ring you tonight, we need to talk" oh god what happened?. What did I say or do? All weekend I've been thinking. I have lots of missing memories. It's a long time since I've ever had a night out drinking and not be able to remember what happened the next day. I still feel a bit uneasy about it even now. Why?

 

Andy rang later and said that what we were drinking was a very strong beer. I seem to remember Liam mentioning this early on but I didn't realise how strong it was. Andy drank something different and was ok but Liam drank the same as me and was just as bad. Apparently he was sick when he got home. Nothing much more was mentioned and I still feel bad about it, how to tackle the "no wedding present" thing? I just don't know what to do.

 

 

Before I went to bed there was a newsflash on my phone. It was late so I didn't bother looking at it but as I was in bed I turned the Telly on to Sky News. People had been warned to stay away from Manchester Arena as there had been an explosion. It was about 11.15 pm. By 11.50pm a "number of fatalities had been reported and by 1.30 in he morning this was listed as 19 dead and 50 injured. It was all horrific to watch and very upsetting as the concert was for teen pop star Ariana Grande. So it was full of kids. I eventually turned off and went to sleep. Or at least tried to sleep. It was impossible because I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I am the resurrection

I've just found this blog again after nearly 5 years. Wow and it's still sitting there.

Not that anyone has been able to read it mind you because I had it on private. But I'd forgotten all about it.

Like a little time capsule of my life its of interest to me and no one else. But look at all those lovely pictures. ;-)

 

Trumpton

President Donald Trump has banned muslims from entering America. Well not all of them. Just those from 7 majority Muslim Countries. Syria Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Libya, Somalia and Yemen.

The man's a nutter and over the past few days he's been passing all sorts of laws that he promised he would, but now seem quite Dictatorial. They are even calling him the new Hitler, which seems a bit harsh. I know he's got funny hair but he's not committed mass murder yet.

Prime Minister Theresa May met him yesterday and seemed to be sucking up to him, she all but kissed his backside. A bit to much for my liking and whilst the rest of the world is condemning him for his latest move. She's dodging the question and saying nothing. It's all a bit of a mess and I'm sure there is worse to come.

Madness

 

Busy weekend ahead. Had today off work and went with Robert to Manchester to see Madness. We planned to stop over night in a Premier in near Victoria. Which made it seem like a mini break. We got there in the afternoon and booked in before wandering round the Christmas Market. Spending nothing mind you, Neither of us could afford it. We were only here because the tickets were free. His Uncle and his wife had split up and they were going spare so even though its a bit before or time we snapped them up. Ill be honest i was really thinking we might give it a miss and just go for a drink in the village instead. Its years since ive been there. But it would seem a waste so after a quick freshen up it was out for a quick drink in a local pub and the on to Manchester Arena. The place was full of men of a certain age  dressed in Madness cloths and/or hats. And most of them were drunk. Not aggressive drunks. Just stupid ones having fun. 

 

The support act were the Lightning Seeds who went down well but the crowed only seemed to know a couple of their hits. Rob didn't remember any of them so looked bored. Then Madness came on on were great. Their songs are quite short and mostly uptempo so it was a party atmosphere. I sort of knew most of them. After it was over we went back to the hotel and bed. Night over.

Should I stay or should I go ?

A couple of days left now to the referendum and I'm still swinging back and forth between in and out. I don't really wanna come out but I'm not happy with the way things are with us in. And I don't think we can change that. I have no idea what will happen if we do leave. No one does. But on the other hand, no one knows what will happen if we stay in. It's a big deal and after weeks of News and TV debates the BBC has a major two hour show, live from Wembley Arena on telly tonight. As it stands I still feel the same way now as I did weeks ago. Not sure, but swinging to the "Out" side. I don't know many people who are voting "In" if I'm honest. But i could still vote in.

 

Everyone around me is very verbal about leaving. Which is probably what is swaying me. But I can't watch any more of the politicians rabbiting on. They aren't really helping. Another thing that has helped me swing to the "out" side is the fact that there are so many of them, across parties, Businesses and celebs who say the same. It's not just a bunch of Racists who don't want Jonny Foreigner ruining Britain. It's knowledgable people saying we will be OK if we come out. And although the rest of Europe and the world seems to be wanting us to stay in. I get the impress that they want us in because it would be better for them. Europe will lose a lot of our money and America (our so called special friend) will lose some influence in Europe. We have even had threats from them all. France say they will punish us by making it difficult for us to trade with Europe afterwards if we leave and America has said they will put us to the back of the queue when it comes to negotiating a trade deal with them. It feels like we are being threatened. It's interesting to note that no one knows which way it will go. And I think, like the Scottish referendum, it will be so close that no one will be happy with the result.

Pmsl

 

Better

Feeling a bit better today, back to work. Thanks for all your well wishes and comments.

Only the odd person mentioned anything about it at work. Hardly anyone asked if I was ok or feeling better. So thanks for that everyone.

I don't take time off work unless I really have to but this place doesn't exactly encourage you to drag yourself in when you feel unwell. There's no such thing as light duties or sympathy. If you turned up for work with a leg missing you'd still be expected to do the same amount of work as before. Maybe that's why most people are off sick even if its just a sore throat and a tickly cough. Even though I was genuinely sick. It was a clincher when judging whether to get out of bed on Friday morning.

Saying that I was bored stiff at home. I slept most of the time but in between consciousness I had the radio on. Radio is shit in the morning. No one plays music any more. Radio one has 'grimmy' waffling on about his celebrity mates. Radio two has Chris Evans telling us all about how much he's gonna spend buying James Bonds car and then raffling off (for charity) a formula one weekend for other multi millionaire listeners who might be listening in "the current bid is now £150,000 , your gonna have to top that if you wanna be in with a chance for this fantastic experience".....F*** off!!! I don't wanna hear that sort of thing mate. Half the country is skint so stop rubbing it in you idiot.

Telly is shite as well but I'm surprised how many gay people are on daytime telly. A certain type of gay man though. Either high camp and Jolly or acid queen nasty. Every 'come dine with me' always seems to have one or the other.

At one point I was just sat in a trance not really watching it. I may as well have been staring at a speck of dust on a wall. Then I realised I was watching CBeebies for young kids (also seeming to feature lots of gay men by the way). Children's telly can be much better to watch when your sick. Less taxing and annoying. Just pretty colours and bright pictures.

Panoramic

"Get out into the fresh air, that'll sort your cold out"

I am now off work and in bed, after filling my lungs with horrible fresh air (mainly smelling like horse or cow shit I think) my cold has escalated to level one and I feel like crap.

 

Vitamin C

Started with a bit of a sore throat this afternoon. But by this evening It's as if I've been gargling with razor blades. I feel the onset of a cold heading my way. "Vitamin C" said my mum. Have you got any oranges?.

No. So it's tablets the size of a torpedo in 1000mg form. Lets see if that dampens it down a bit.

No word from Daniel, he hasn't rung me and I haven't rung him. I've decided to see if he will. It's always me picking up the phone so let's see what happens if I don't. How many days before he remembers I exist?.

I can following him on Facebook mind you------ Jack to Daniel.- 'morning lover'......Daniel to Jack - 'Morning tiger'.....blurrrrgh! I think I might be sick.

There is an election for a local crime commissioner today. We've never had one before so this is all new. I have had my poll card delivered but I nearly threw it in the bin last night because i have absolutely no bloody idea who is up for it. I've had nothing through the post, no one at the door and seen bugger all on the telly. To find out who the candidates are I've got to go to a web site called choosemypcc.org.uk. and read up about them......As if...

 

 

Shitty fan

Wtf???.

The shit seems to have hit the fan today. I spoke to Daniel last night and sent him a copy of the email and we talked a bit about it. It's was no big deal and he didn't seem all that bothered. He knew immediately who I was talking about and just said, oh he's a nutter, Jack has told me all about him. I said that Victoria was a bit worried and didn't know whether to say anything about it but he said he would text her that it was fine and we left it there.

Until this morning.

I got a text message from Victoria first thing saying " what the hell have you said?. Jack has gone mental on Facebook!!!". When I logged on to see what she meant I was shocked to read post after post of threats to this guy. "I'm fuming. Robert G******, youve messed with the wrong person this time you F****ing C***t. You've been trying to stir it with my Daniel and his friends and I'm gonna make you pay. Sleep with one eye open from now on because I'm not gonna take this lying down you F*****....." Well you get the idea.

A couple of our mates had contacted Daniel to ask if he was alright but he'd replied, yes fine. So I rang him and asked what he hell was going on. Does this guy know that all Daniels friends and family are reading this shit?. Including Victoria who thinks she's started world war three.

But the silly sod just defended him " he had a bad time with this guy and he's not happy with him, just knock him off your Facebook if you don't like what he's putting, it'll be fine".

Oh great!. That will go down well. I'll unfriend your boyfriend, I'm sure he'll be happy with that. Suddenly my whole perception of this guy has changed. These aren't the rantings of a battered boyfriend. He sounds like a bloody nutter. It wasn't just one post either, it's been going on all day and to make things worse, his mates (who I don't know) seem to be encouraging him with comments and likes. "Go get him jack, I like to see a bit of blood spilt every now and then". Bloody hell ! I don't like his mates either now.

What I can't understand is how this guy will see these posts anyway. Is he in his friends list?. I don't believe there is anything wrong with twitter or Facebook. It's people who use it that spoil it and its idiots like this who like to vent their spleen all over it for everyone to see that I can not stand. A bit Like the ones who post depressing "I'm so unhappy please love me" type posts or shite like that. (Usually women..lol)

I haven't unfriended him because I wanna keep an eye on this guy. I was a bit pissed with Daniel when he said that. "Just knock him off?". What I expected was a short email from jack to Victoria saying something like 'sorry about my ex, ignore him you won't hear from him again I promise' and then carry on as if he didn't exist.

Not...no acknowledgment to Victoria post after post pf rantings about it and "knock him off your Facebook if you don't like it"

Im staying out of it but im feeling a bit pissed off if I'm honest.

 

Stirring it.

So the email that was sent to my friend Victoria was from Jacks ex. She sent a copy to me and asked me to let her know what she should do,

In it He said that he had actually been with Jack for a few years and only split with him because of his lies and "mind games". That he had been sleeping around behind his back and playing him off with others.

It wasn't really a nasty message, in fact it was a bit pathetic to be honest. With lines like " I suppose you're wondering why I didn't just leave him at this point, but I loved him and thought I could make it work" and "I'm only doing this because I don't want someone else to get hurt like me, please be careful with him, he's not a nice person"

The only bad bit was when he said that jack could be violent. But according to Daniel. The reason they split up in the first place was because this guy was supposed to have been violent towards jack.

For starters, why has he contacted her and not Daniel?. Secondly, how do we know he hasn't messaged Daniel?

Anyway I'm not getting involved in some stranger trying to stir it for them. I told her not to answer this message and block him. I will have a discrete word with Daniel that his boyfriends ex has contacted her and leave it at that. Don't wanna make a scene. Best to ignore people like that. Bu he should know about it.

He seems a nice enough guy and they seem happy together so let them get on with it.

In other news... I laughed at an article on the web that had a picture of boxer David Haye showing his arse. Talk about people finding fault with anything. Someone wrote underneath "his elbows are too pointy" eh?

 

Interesting text

Had a weird text message from a female friend today. it came 4 hours ago but I missed it.

"hiya Michael. I've a bit of a delema and not sure what to do. I found an email on my Facebook last night from Jacks ex"

Jack is Daniels new boyfriend by the way.

It had been send last month but was In a different tab on my inbox so I hadn't seen it. It's not written in a nasty way, more out of concern for Daniel. Can I forward it to you to have a read? And see weather he should see it ?. I know Daniel is smitten and I don't want to burst his bubble but I also don't want him to get hurt. The weird thing is that just before I found this email I had seen a comment jack had written on a photograph to one of Daniels exes and I thought it was a really harsh thing to say considering that comment was left over a year ago when they were together.

I don't know if he has message anyone else or weather he just pullled my name off a comment I made to one of his photos or something"

I text her back to send me a copy to look at but she was at work and cant send it till later.

I'm intrigued.

 

Worked out a lot this week

I have an app on my phone called sleep cycle. When I go to bed I turn it on and stick my phone on the bed under the sheets. It monitors movement and how well you slept and is supposed to wake you up in a more refreshing way. It doesn't really. Ive always hated getting up in the morning and this is no help whatsoever. But the best thing about it is the Info it gathers about your sleep and the graphs it produces.

You can input sleep notes before you set it and then it will show how things effects your sleep pattern.

In this graph you will see the effects of 'worked out' on my sleep. I should point out that 'worked out' is my abbreviated code words for 'wanking myself off before I go to sleep'. And this takes place practically every night. Lol.

But the others are real. Interesting how alcohols works isn't it? And look how much sleep I get at he weekend after a good night out. Getting up in the afternoon has got to stop though I think. My weekends are turning into bed and booze