Thursday, 4 March 2010

Old undies

Going to the solicitors tomorrow to pick up my Cheque. A thousand pounds isn't exactly a life changing amount but it does mean i don't have to worry about paying my gas bill this time.

I was sorting out some old cloths to give away to charity. That sounds good doesn't it ?. In fact it's just easier to drop them off in a sack outside a local charity shop than it is taking them to the tip. But what do you do with old undies ?. I had some i've not worn since i was about 14. Why keep them ?. Old bits of paper and ordinary rubbish always goes straight in the bin, but cloths linger in a bin bag or at the back of a drawer for ages. I tried these undies on and it felt like i was trying to squeeze into a small sock.

If you came to see me tonight you would think i'm a poor person living on nothing. I Bought a packet of digestive biscuits form Morrisons last week. When I came to empty them into the biscuit barrel (yes I have one, how posh am I getting ?)
I opened the packet and they all fell out like dust from a vacuum cleaner. Broken bits everywhere but mainly crumbs. Obviously someone had dropped the packet at some point and kicked it round the shop a bit before I bought it, so by the time it reached my house what should be solid biscuits had the look and consistency of sand.
I couldn’t be bothered to take them back to the store so over the past week I’ve been picking out all the biggest bits to eat with a cup of tea until I reached the point where all that was left was a big mound of crumbs.
As I type this I am now using a spoon and finishing off the rest.
A cup of tea and a spoon full of Mcvities Digestive just doesn’t seem the same.

9 comments:

Slave Simon said...

Not an experienced shopper then. I always assume biscuits have been dropped and feel up the packet. I check each egg in its carton and I check the use by date on everything.

I still come home with peas wiuth added mint when I wanted peas without mint and with sardines in brine when sardines in tomato sauce were required.

Paul said...

Don't ask me , I've an undies fetish! You could probably sell them on ebay, you being an internet star and all.

naturgesetz said...

Eating the crumbs with a spoon sounds like something I'd at least think of if it were something I particularly fancied.

Come to think of it, what I do with the potato chip (crisp, to you) crumbs is bypass the spoon. I pour them from the bag to the palm of my hand and use said palm to convey them to my mouth.

Speaking of the gas bill, did insulation guy come back and give suggestions on how you could keep warm?

drew said...

can I ask a few questions? what are digestive biscuits? (regular??) what is a biscuit barrel? round pan or muffin pan? I really enjoy the words you use. Mine seem pretty plain in comparison..

naturgesetz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
naturgesetz said...

I should have proofread. Here, slightly edited, is my deleted comment.

@ drew — Mambam may not know the American words for biscuit. We on this side of the pond would call them crackers or cookies. As to to what makes a biscuit "digestive," I haven't the foggiest. I mean, it seems it's somehow supposed to aid digestion, but how does it differ from other biscuits? He'll have to tell us that.

drucloud said...

the underwere thing i know people who would pay good money for used ones .
digestives are normal biscuits bit harder i suppose not good for dunking in tea their too big for the cup. more of a shortbread man myself:). as for the broken biscuits
when i was was younger they used to sell big bags of them so must get broken all the time . DRU

kinkynik said...

Sell your old undies on e-bay.

Or offer them to Ryan.

Or I'll have them.

Post a couple of pix of you modelling them.

I think that's posh eatin crumbs with a spoon.

Mambam said...

Simon
You live and learn. It will never happen again

Paul
I couldn't belive this would be true, but i actually went to e-bay and typed in Used undies for a laugh. Disturbingly children underwear can up....

Naturgestez
When i get to the bottom of a packet i pour them directly into my gob, straight from the packet. How common of me Tsh, my mother always used to tell me off for doing it.
No the guy never came back...shame.

Drew
I suppose a cookie would be a biscuit in america ?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digestive_biscuit

Drucloud & Kinkinik
I couldn't think of anything worse.
Actually no i could. Used socks.
Bllleaaarkkkk !