Thursday, 29 June 2017

Living the dream

Its been a bloody awful week at work this week. I swing from liking my job to hating it by the day. If I'm honest its not really the work its the people. To be more specific a couple of people. 

Unfortunately they are in a position of power. Although how the fuck they got there i'll never know. I can handle all the other tossers. Because i don't tolerate any crap from people at my level and below. Its just the ones from above that you can't really do anything about and they don't come any higher up than these two twats.

So to help me dream them away i do the lottery. I've been doing the lottery for years now and never won so much as a carrot. But like a idiot I keep on going. I'm buying a dream  I know. I'm not gonna win anything big. And the way things are going I'm gonna need that 69 million pound jackpot just to break even. But I've got it all planned for if i ever do. Ill ring in work the next day to tell them all to fuck off. Buy a  house, car. Holiday....etc. Split the cash with close friends and family. Stick some in a savings account and pension etc. Then spend the rest of my life enjoying giving the rest away to charities. Thats my dream.


Monday, 26 June 2017

Not going out

One of the men at work is leaving at the end of the week and has asked me if I'd like to join a select few of others for a drink after he finishes.

I can't think of anything worse, I like the guy but he's just a work colleague. I don't really have anything in common with him. In fact I don't think I've ever spoken to him about anything else except work. I know he's got a daughter and he plays Golf. But I have no interest in either of those things so I'm stumped. 

We once had a conversation about me being gay in which he genuinely talked about as many gay stereotypes as he could to try ingratiate himself to me. Musical theatre, The gay village in Manchester, Madonna….he even started talking about personal grooming and how gay men look after themselves better than straight. Well I've met a few scruffy gay guys in my time so that's all crap for starters.

And the others that will be there are the same. I know the first hour will be a load of men talking about sport. Football usually. And naming players I've never heard of. Who's paid what for which transfer and what do I think of (insert name here)? Do you think he'll go to Newcastle or will (insert name here) snap him up?. If anyone mentions Cricket i think id be sick.

They may as well be talking another language as far as I am concerned. I have absolutely no interest in all that crap. I don't mind watching a football match but all the rest of it is irrelevant to me. A bit like Music. I like listening to it but I don't give a shit  how they tune up their instruments or which chair the Beatles sat on to write Let it be. I never read the music press. Its all opinions thats all.

Anyway, I've decided. I'm not going.

Nice hot day todat, which would normallt mean the possibility of seeing some good looking guy with his top off. But as ususal all i saw was some skanky bloke waving a scruffy T shirt, in baggy shorts and Builders Boots. He looked like a clown on his holidays.


Friday, 23 June 2017

80s Pop or not

Went to see a friend of Roberts last night. She's in a band. They sound a bit 1980s with synthesisers and no guitars. It was all a bit crap really. It just reminded me of something you hear playing in the background on a old porn film. In fact it was slightly embarrassing to watch someone you know giving their all and it's not really working.

But we said they sounded great and congratulated them on their performance. I'm no Simon Cowell. It's their first gig and there were only family and friends there apart from the odd person coming in and then walking out when they heard what was going on. They performed 5 songs. Because they only had 5 songs. One of them was more of an instrumental with one of the other members wailing over the background. No lyrics, just wailing. At one point I though he'd been electricuted and needed help. But I think that was just the chorus.

Best of all they dressed up for it. Lots of makeup and what looked like bin bags fashioned into trousers and tops.

Afterwards we sat talking to her mum and having a long protracted conversation about how kids can text each other using two thumbs at 90 miles an hour. “I struggle doing it slowly with one finger” she said. Which left me biting my tong and Robert kicking me under the table. I had to go to the loo to control myself. Whilst I was there a drunk guy having a piss said ‘what was that shit they were playing?’

Her mums boyfriend is a bodybuilder. And we got talking to him for a while when I got back. Robert was practically shaking in his boots. He finds bodybuilders intimidating. I'm sure that without the cloths, prancing around in a tiny thing, he's all Muscle but when bodybuilders wear ordinary cloths and are covered up they just look fat. I once had a fiddle around with a guy who was a bodybuilder. It was weird, I felt like I was humping a brand new leather sofa. All hard and lumpy. He showed more veins in his arm than his cock.

Anyway it was a good night really. And as I was the designated driver I didn't drink so I feel great today.

Thursday, 22 June 2017

Shower time

Every night when Robert gets home from work he brushes his teeth, has a shower, changes his cloths and then comes down for something to eat. He's like clockwork. 

It's quite nice really. And I'm not knocking it because he's got me into doing it as well. 

But last night the shower was broken so we couldn't use it. Bloody hell it was like taking heroin away from a drug addict, you'd think he was going cold turkey. He said he felt grubby all night and when we went to bed he didn't want be trying anything because he felt dirty and smelly. 

There's something not right with that man, we both work in an office all day it's not as if we had been working on a building site.

And beside All i wanted to do was fiddle with his dangly bits. I'd washed my hands before hand and could swill them off afterwards, job done. 

Wednesday, 21 June 2017


It seems like forever since i posted anything on this blog. In fact its a few years and since then im now in a "relationship". I still find it difficult to say that, in a relationship. I dont know why. Its nothing to do with being gay, its just that jump from being single to getting my head around being part of a couple. His name is Robert. Not Rob, he hates that. But if i really wanna upset him i'll call him Bob.

He's the most beautiful person ive ever met. Kind, caring, funny, a bit shy, trustworthy, A bit younger than me. Blonde, smooth, nice teeth, clean (slightly OCD to be honest) and a nice sized cock!.🤗

He crosses between inteligent and stupid. The type of guy who passed everything at school but struggles to understand a joke sometimes.

I think i decided he was the one for me when i realised it was his personality and how comfortable i felt with him that attracted me to him more than the fact that he's as fit as fuck. 

I wont go into the full story of how we met and how it developed but he was looking for somewhere to live and he stayed at my place for a couple of weeks. This ended up turning into being a paid lodger and then became a more permanent thing when he started sleeping in my bed more often than his own.

But since this has happened my life has changed as well. I dont really go on the scene any more. I stay in a lot. We do things together and im not looking over his shoulder at any sexy guy that might be standing behind him (another sign that ive fallen for him).

I drink less, Watch less porn, have sorted out my pension, bought a new car, have some shares and some savings. Im turning into a really boring old fart. Im turning into my dad.

I don't really have much contact with Daniel any more. In fact im not sure whether we've fallen out or not. He's living miles away with his partner and we just dont seem to keep in contact much nowadays. I think its more to do with his new boyfriend. I went to visit them once and it was very strained. I didnt really feel very welcome. I would send him emails and it took days for him to reply. He stopped going on facebook and the contact became less and less. A phone works from both ends and ive now reached the point where i think its his turn to contact me. Im sick of being the one to see how he is. I thought id wait until he contacts me.

He never has in months.




Backdated Posts

For a while im gonna cut and paste some old posts from my Offline Diary and insert them into the correct dates on this blog. I dont re read stuff all the time. Maybe look back once a year. I just write things and then ignore them. So for the purposes of this blog im gonna look back over the past 12 months and see what might interest me.  Itll be difficult for you the reader because youll have to keep looking back if you wanna catch up. But its only for a few days until i get into the swing of things again.

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Hello again

I havent been blogging for a while. Lots of things have happened since i last posted here. there have been many changes in my life.
Amonst the boring changes are how i use a computer. I dont really turn mine on much any more, im a tablet and phone man now. Which means unless i can quickly and easily blog from one of those platforms im not doing it. So ive downloaded a couple of apps and im gonna attempt posting some things for a few days to see whether i can be arsed. Ill be honest its not filling me with much hope so far. 
It's not just the typing of words, it's being able to upload pictures easily without having to piss about with how the post looks. I found one great app only to find its discontinued. The developers packed it in and its no longer supported for a Ipad.
Since I stopped I've continued to write things down, I just stopped posting them here. This was more of a diary than a blog anyway so I've just continued writing a diary in a word document and stored it in a private folder. 
Any form of computerised diary is fraught with problems. The whole point to a diary is to keep it for future reference or reading. Nowadays computer formats change, apps come and go, something you type now might not be readable in 12 months time let alone 12 years if the bastards decide their not gonna continue supporting that format or expect you to pay money to upgrade to something else. On the other hand I don't thnk I can write anything by hand any more. If I wrote the above few words in handwriting with pen and paper I'd probably struggle to read it and my wrist would probably be aching  by now. Typing is much quicker and more fun. Writing by hand is so yesterday. Anyway, lets see how this looks.

Monday, 22 May 2017

What happened ?

Sent a text message to Andy this lunchtime "how did you feel after Friday night ? I was absolutely arseold" got a reply back saying "I will ring you tonight, we need to talk" oh god what happened?. What did I say or do? All weekend I've been thinking. I have lots of missing memories. It's a long time since I've ever had a night out drinking and not be able to remember what happened the next day. I still feel a bit uneasy about it even now. Why?


Andy rang later and said that what we were drinking was a very strong beer. I seem to remember Liam mentioning this early on but I didn't realise how strong it was. Andy drank something different and was ok but Liam drank the same as me and was just as bad. Apparently he was sick when he got home. Nothing much more was mentioned and I still feel bad about it, how to tackle the "no wedding present" thing? I just don't know what to do.



Before I went to bed there was a newsflash on my phone. It was late so I didn't bother looking at it but as I was in bed I turned the Telly on to Sky News. People had been warned to stay away from Manchester Arena as there had been an explosion. It was about 11.15 pm. By 11.50pm a "number of fatalities had been reported and by 1.30 in he morning this was listed as 19 dead and 50 injured. It was all horrific to watch and very upsetting as the concert was for teen pop star Ariana Grande. So it was full of kids. I eventually turned off and went to sleep. Or at least tried to sleep. It was impossible because I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

I am the resurrection

I've just found this blog again after nearly 5 years. Wow and it's still sitting there.

Not that anyone has been able to read it mind you because I had it on private. But I'd forgotten all about it.

Like a little time capsule of my life its of interest to me and no one else. But look at all those lovely pictures. ;-)


Saturday, 28 January 2017


President Donald Trump has banned muslims from entering America. Well not all of them. Just those from 7 majority Muslim Countries. Syria Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Libya, Somalia and Yemen.

The man's a nutter and over the past few days he's been passing all sorts of laws that he promised he would, but now seem quite Dictatorial. They are even calling him the new Hitler, which seems a bit harsh. I know he's got funny hair but he's not committed mass murder yet.

Prime Minister Theresa May met him yesterday and seemed to be sucking up to him, she all but kissed his backside. A bit to much for my liking and whilst the rest of the world is condemning him for his latest move. She's dodging the question and saying nothing. It's all a bit of a mess and I'm sure there is worse to come.