Monday, 30 November 2009

Save the environment

In a world where we all seem to be having HD TV rammed down our throats it seems weird that people still watching things online. The picture quality is shite and the size of a postage stamp but now that i have changed my broadband connection to proper cable i get a much better picture and i can get HD on the BBC i Player.
Now all i need is for them to show something worth watching, otherwise it's back to U tube for never ending clips of shit, or gay tube, for never ending clips of men's dangly bits.

I am being charged an extra £2.50 because i get a paper bill from virgin. When i rang they gave me some spiel about it being for the environment, blah blah.
In fact it's for the profits and nothing to do with the environment. A bit like supermarkets not giving away bags anymore or bin men coming round every fortnight instead of once a week. I'm not against helping the environment, i just object to them trying to pretend that every money saving (and making) idea they come up with is packaged as doing something good for the environment. Do they think we are all idiots?. Yes obviously they do.

Daniel rang this lunch time to tell me he is gonna bit the bullet and tell Howard he's finishing with him. It's funny how the tables turn, i remember us having a similar conversation in the past with one of my X's.

Music i'm listening to

Something I'm listening to on my I-Pod at the moment. It's funny how certain songs go round and round in your head.
I went to bed last night thinking of this one. Not since the Cheeky Girls has a track got stuck in my brain so much.
I thought i would post some music as an added extra this week just to show how crap my musical tastes really are. Cheesy dance or pop music that is a complete embarrassment to me when i am drunk at the weekend. The sort of thing that gets my toe tapping and my friends asking "you don't like this shit do you ?"
I'll post one a day, listen at your peril. But it may help paint a picture of my weekends. Imagine things like this playing in the background of a sweaty club and a pillock not dissimilar to the guy on the right looking like he's having a fit on the dance floor.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

Ryan & His Mate

Didn't have time to blog yesterday. Daniel came round again, that's twice in two weeks. Actually i think it's more to do with escaping Howard than it is coming to see me. He had to go early because his mum needed the car back, But that was ok because Ryan and his mate came over later to look at my computer. His mate is more of the techno guy by the look of it. We just sat watching the X Factor whilst he fiddled away with my box.

X factor is the noisiest show on telly. It's like going on a night out, even if you turn the sound down it still seems to deafen. It gave me a chance to find out more about Ryan. I might work with him but people react differently when they are away from work and in the company of their friends. In fact he was little more talkative and less shy. He's a bit dry and still only talks when he needs to, but when he says something it's either funny or interesting. His mate is just a cocky little git. The sort who talks down to people if he knows they don't know what he's talking about. Computers are his thing and he seemed to be enjoying telling what i didn't have and how i hadn't been using it properly. He was adjusting things i didn't want changing and in the end i told him to leave it. If you ever see two guys or girls on a night out together there is usually an attractive one that everyone fancies and the less attractive one that tags on behind and ends up with the opposite version of himself whilst the two good looking ones piss off and leave them behind.
I think that when Ryan and his mate go out, Ryan will be the one that tags along and gets the other mate, but in fact he is the most attractive of the two and if he spoke up a bit more he would get the girl. His mate is just a flash gobby Little git (can you tell i don't like him?).

He seems to have done something good with my computer though. We had a few cans of larger, a pizza and then they fucked off.
Not a spectacular night but it made a change.

Friday, 27 November 2009

Dead Pets

Rachel rang today, her cat died yesterday so she had today off work to get over it.

I'm not a cat person myself, we only ever had dogs in our house. No tell a lie we did have one when i was very small, it was called 'cat'. No other name, just 'cat'. It was wild really and put up with you as long as you didn't try to get near it, or stroke it, or look at it for that matter. If you did 'cat' turned into 'tiger' and tried ripping your face off. All it came home for was food a little warm up and then it buggered off out again. It had long black fur that was wild and unkempt. This was probably the only cat i have ever known that didn't take pride in it's appearance or bothered with cleanliness. In Cat terms it was a scruff bag. I'm pretty sure all the other cats talked about it behind it's back. Never to it's face thought because i'm also sure it was a bully and would have beaten them all up. It got run over by a bus, apparently but it survived for a short while screaming in agony and my dad had to put it out of it's misery with a brick. He still has nightmares about it now, Even in it's death knell it still tried to scratch his hand off. Although to be fair you would if someone was trying to smash your brains out with a brick wouldn't you ?.

We had a dog called Lassie. It was a cross between a Labrador and every other dog down the street. It's mother must have been a bit of a slut because no sooner had they managed to offload her pups on someone she was up the duff with another couple. We also had another dog from the same mother and called it Laddie LOL. This was the dumbest animal in the world and had a bad habit of breaking wind and frightening itself with the sound. He would then search the are where the fart came from trying to find out what it was. He died when he ran into a wall whilst chasing a ball. I was devastated. We buried him in the back garden near some rhubarb and I refused to eat any of that rhubarb after that.

Reading all that back it sounds like something from a comedy show, but i assure you it was true.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Mr Fix it

I have been feeling a little bit under the weather today. Not ill, just a bit off.
Can't be arsed to do anything, that sort of ill. Run down and drained. I could still find time for a ham shank before i went to bed last night mind you so i can't be that ill. (Ham Shank is rhyming slang by the way, i don't mean something to eat ;-))

I have invited Ryan to come and look at my computer this weekend. He's a bit of a whizz on them and i want it speeding up. My Broadband connection is now better so it would be good to see if i can speed my computer up as well.
Then i realised i might be best removing some of the porn from my folders. It wouldn't exactly be a Gary Glitter moment if he found anything but i wouldn't embarrass him with some of the stuff i look at.. The pictures i post here are very tame compared i can assure you, it's all legal but filthy.
I don't know why i bother though. It's freely available online so why download it ?. Perhaps because i save things i like and store it away for future use ?. Then i have a sort of pornographic magazine that only contains pictures that turn me on.
What must it have been like in days when people actually looked at proper paper porn mags ?. Turning a page with one hand trying to find something that keeps up the momentum ? LOL. Imagine turning for the next shot and finding an advert for a packet of fags. Ha! that would kill things stone dead i should imagine.
Anyways i'm wandering of the subject.

Ryan said he might bring his mate over and they can look at it together. Before anyone says or suggests anything. Ryan is not my type, he's too young, and he's not gay OK ?.

Pretty person

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Pornographic E-mail

From time to time i get suggestive e-mails from readers with offers to meet (usually for sex).
I don't bother with Gaydar much but i still get the odd message from there as well and every now and then they turn out to be pornographic, weird, scary, abusive or just downright hilarious. I find that it best to just ignore and not acknowledge certain ones. But last night i had an offer from a 'Daddy' looking for a boy to 'own'. In this e-mail it was suggested that i service his needs and will be used and abused for his sexual pleasure. From time to time he would pass me round for his friends to enjoy whilst he watched and at least once a month i would expect to be drugged and gangbanged by many guys at certain parties he travels and attends, along with 'submitting my image' to private Photographic sessions. This long e-mail then started to wander off into bestiality where he suggested i may also have to bend over and offer my services to his Alsatian, water sports and Bondage with torture would also be a regular 'pleasure for me' after he 'brands' me with ownership in the form of a tattoo on my arse.

But the thing that really turned me off his e-mail and why i decided to turn down his offer was when he also included the horrific, and quite frankly offencive suggestion that i also become his house boy and 'clean and cook for him!!'.
My Reply
"Fuck off you pervert, clean your own fucking house !."

Tuesday, 24 November 2009


Late home from work tonight so late blogging as well.
One of the blokes was celebrating the birth of his first son and we all went for one after work to 'wet the babies head' whatever that means.
Even Ryan came. It was funny watching him try drink a pint of larger. He's only 17 but looks younger. Should have stuck to a bottle lad. I mentioned to the others the disaster of our night out in Halifax. No-one in our circle said they went drinking in the town center and more and when i told them which local pubs we visited there was a sharp intake of breathe and lots of laughs. I asked if anyone would be interested in showing me round but most laughed again. Ryan said he would come with his mate. But i suspect he just wants to be able to go to any pub and knows he wouldn't get served unless someone else went to the bar for him.
I'll have to work on them.

It was a real miserable day today, the weather is depressing, rain, cloud, wind. We went into town to bank some dosh and i saw a woman chase an umbrella down the street. It had blown out of her hand and she gave chase screaming 'catch it, catch it'. It eventually stopped when it nestled between the arse cheeks of an old man waiting for a bus.

In the north of Halifax there is a large Muslim community and i suspect the odd mosque as well. You could hear the wailing in the distance as they were being called for prayer. For some reason no one minds church bells, but a guy in the bank was complaining about this wailing as if it were dance music blaring out of a nightclub and saying how it shouldn't be allowed.
When we came outta the bank a flash car went past with three Asians inside. They must have had the loudest in car stereo known to man and were playing Dizzee Rascal i think. I suspect they were not proper Muslims. You just assume don't you ?. If i see someone who is Asian, Pakistani or Indian i assume they are Muslim.
I write this because i have encountered quite a lot of racism since moving here. They are bad in the area of Oldham that i called home, but here it seems worse.

Monday, 23 November 2009

Letting Go

After the disaster of Saturday night i had a pretty lazy Sunday. Daniel stopped later than i expected and i actually drove him home at about 9 last night. I think his relationship with Howard is more or less over, but i don't get the impression that Howard knows yet.

Daniel is the type of guy who will suddenly start drifting away from him, then perhaps not see him for a week, before eventually stop answering his calls and hoping he's got the hint. Instead of telling him outright, he will do anything rather than confront the problem. On the other hand i also know that he is easily swayed. I remember he once went to tell a boy he was going out with that he didn't want to see him any more. He was all keyed up, he knew exactly what he wanted to say and i remember wishing him luck as he walked off into the distance to meet him.
When he came back he had given in to the other guys tears and agreed to give it another go. Even though he didn't want to. I remember pissing myself laughing, he was so determined it was over and went with such conviction that i genuinely thought he would be able to do it.

On one hand he would like to be the type of guy who can stick his middle finger up and say 'see you around, your dumped'. But in fact he's a softie who gets tongue tied and is rubbish at ending things properly.
I hardly have any room to talk, I'm as bad. When the relationship is going well you want them there all the time. As soon as it hits the rocks you wanna press a button and make them disappear.
It was nice having Daniel over, even though it was a shit night out on Saturday we had a good day Sunday.

I know i shouldn't say this but when your best mate decides to dump his boyfriend, there is a little something inside that says Oh good.
Now i know it's wrong of me and i'm sure your all tutting out there but i'm also sure we've all done it if we are honest.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

A night to forget

I picked up Daniel and we stopped off at Tescos to buy some Toothpaste. He didn't like the stuff i use so had to get some of his own brand, fussy sod.
We dropped all his stuff off at home and then decided to get out fast. It had been pissing it down all day but now it was just a light spray. If we were gonna leave the car at home and walk anywhere now was a good time. First stop, local pubs within walking distance.
I should have known. They didn’t exactly look appealing from the outside and when your walking past a couple of smokers stood at the door covered in tattoos and staring at us like something from Crimewatch you realise you should have gone with your gut instinct.

It was a bit like a scene from American werewolf in London where everyone turns round and looked at us. Only instead of old yokels sitting with pipes and drinking beer. This was skinhead’s thugs who were probably wondering whether to beat us up or sell us drugs (and that’s the women I’m talking about there).
Ian would have liked this pub.
We had a bottle of Bud and left quickly. The tables were sticky and the carpet looked like it hadn’t had a vac over it in weeks. The next pub we walked through one door and outta the other without stopping and by the time we got to the third it was decided we might be best giving local pubs a miss and go for the town center instead.
It was lively I’ll give them that. There are lots of drinking joints, bars, pubs, clubs, fast food, you name it. And all really close to each other I’ve been here before so I knew what to expect. But there was nothing that looked even slightly camp or gay.

In fact I would say everywhere seemed the exact opposite. Very hetero and full of women who were either overweight and trying to look sexy in cloths that was to small for them. Or young girls who shouldn’t be drinking for another couple of years dressed in cloths that showed front and back crack. I saw one girl who looked about twelve drinking in the corner of a pub. Every now and then she opened her handbag and topped it up again with what looked like Vodka. I suppose it’s one way around not getting served at the bar.
We got accosted by girls on three occasions but didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them we were not interested in girls. So we moved on to the next place each time. Mainly because we didn’t really know how people would react to us. And that more or less tells you the atmosphere we were in.
It wasn’t homophobic, no one said anything wrong. There was no trouble. In fact in some ways it was just like Oldham. But Oldham is home and I know people there. These were all strangers and I felt like a fish out of water. So best keep your head down and check the lay of the land first I find.

It was a bad night really. I could tell Daniel wasn’t happy and only going along with things for my sake. I’m really disappointed myself as well. I had been told that Hebden Bridge is quite gay, but more on the lesbo side. Besides that's the other side of town.
I’ll never drink locally here. Town maybe, but only with people I know and i'll never be out on the pull. It looks like I’ll be trying to get over to Manchester in future. We have discussed Huddersfield or Leeds next time. If there ever is a next time.

It was so bad that even though I drank like a fish, I couldn’t really get pissed. I wasn’t in the mood.
We stopped off for a takeaway on the way back to my place and sat talking until the early hours. Daniel depressed me even more by talking about him and Howard. Apparently the novelty has worn off and he is thinking of calling it a day and going back home.
He likes Howard but doesn’t fancy him any more.
I was in bed by 2.30 and that was that. Not very exciting eh? . A real anti climax.
Daniel is still in bed as I type this. I’m sat on my own wondering if I did the right thing moving here.
It doesn’t matter where you live as long as you have your friends and family with you. It’s not the other side of the world and they haven’t exactly vanished before my eyes. But I got used to them being close. I actually think it would have been better if they were on the other side of the world. It’s all a bit half arsed.
I’m too close to be complaining that I’m on my own. But too far away to carry on as before.

God, I’m gonna have to finish this post quick, I’m on a self indulgent depressing feel sorry for myself day today.
We all have them. Just consider this a rant. I’ll forget about it tomorrow.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Two hours after this post i expect to be pissed

Not much to write about today. All the usual chores, cleaning, supermarket etc.
Daniel is coming over soon and we are gonna check out the area. He is stopping the night as well and i'm sort of looking forward to it.
Let's hope things go well. This time tomorrow i might have lots to write about. Always a good thing when you have a blog.

Friday, 20 November 2009

Secrets of my Back Bedroom

I rang my mum tonight to catch up on how things are with her.

“it’s all going on here” she said, and then spoke for half an hour about nothing. The “all going on” was more to do with my uncle Malcolm who is in hospital having his hemorrhoids put back in. So she and dad have been driving my Auntie Pat to the hospital and back which is upsetting their normal run of the mill routine.

It was riveting stuff i can't deny, or can i?. Then she started asking me questions, and by the time we reached the usual ones about what I had just eaten for my tea I decided it was time to go. But before I did she mentioned my dad is a bit worried because they are making people redundant at his work again. He'd be gutted if he lost his job i know.

One of the good things about moving from a tiny flat to a big house with a garage means that i have lots of space to fill.
I can stick all my porn in one room outta the way now so when people come to visit i don't need to cover any cock pics up or push DVDs under cushions.
A while ago someone gave me a really gay picture of two guys with their tops off standing by a waterfall. I never put it up because i hate that sort of thing on display around the house. It smacks to much of 'look at me I'm gay just in case you didn't already know'. Hetero people don't have picture of women with their tits out on show do they ?. And besides it looked too much like wanking material, not very artistic, just pornographic. I don't really want stuff like that hanging over my shoulder when I'm sat having a cup of tea with my mother and her friend Sheila.

Anyways i stuck this picture up in the back bedroom and the more i look at this room the more i realise it's gonna be kept for special occasions. In other words, when people come to stay (for the night).

I wonder if i can fit some bondage gear and sling in there ? LOL.

Wet Wet Wet

It's been raining all week here in the UK and it's starting to get on my tits now, I feel like a drowned rat most of the time.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Earn Extra Cash

I got my Gas bill today for both here and the flat.
So that's the heating turned off for starters. I think i may have to build a small fire in the middle of the front room and gather wood for future heating. I can't be affording that on a regular basis!. Time to tighten my belt a little more and start looking for some extra dosh from Christmas.

I can't believe i agreed to do this but one of the women at work has called and is so impressed with my skills with a brush that she has asked me if i would be interested in painting her back bedroom for cash. I only just finished this fucking thing and I'm agreeing to do more of the same but for someone else. I can't decide whether this is a god send or a penance.

I suppose it's better than selling my arse on the streets. Or is it ?. I think i might enjoy that more than hard labour.

Daniel refuses to stay this weekend if he has to sleep on the sofa so i have to make up a camp bed in the spare room. Not for him, for me !. He wants my double bed. And to add insult to injury i have had a text message today that reads "unless i get breakfast in bed you can fuck off"
He'll get co co pops on his head if he's not careful

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

You are formally invited to an orgy, will you cum ?

Daniel is coming over at the weekend and we are gonna check the town out. He doesn't fancy the idea so i'm blackmailing him into doing it.

He would rather i came over to him and we go out in Manchester but i don't want that to happen all the time. I can see it will turn into me being left out and slowly drifting away from my friends if i'm not careful.

No one rang at all this week. And it was getting a bit strained when i was trying to recruit help decorating this place.
I'm sure that if i threw a sex party this weekend they would be all here in a shot, but until that time comes they ain't bothered. Perhaps i should test them all and send an invitation to an orgy for a laugh.

Work is settling down now and the money is coming in ok. I need to cut my spending for about 3 or four months and then i'll be ok again i think. Unfortunately that 3 or 4 months just happen to be over the Christmas period so i can't see that happening can you ?.

I spoke to Rachel today. I miss her, i can't remember what we talked about but it was a none stop laugh. I've invited her and her dishy boyfriend over when she is free. I'll get them both pissed and when she is paralytic and none plus i'll carry him upstairs to bed and help him undress.

I seem to be inviting everyone over. I hope someone comes.

Lick of Paint

Remember that horrible bathroom ?. Well a lick of paint and a different bog seat and hey presto.
It's not Buckingham Palace and it's still very basic but i'm sure you'll agree. It's improved 150% as the say on the X Factor. I can now have a shite in peace.
Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Look at the state of that bedroom

What do you think ?

There are some weird and shitty websites out there don't ya think ?.
Some guy sent me one that scours the net for info on a particular subject then returns the results on what people think as a positive, negative or indifferent.
I have no idea how it works and a bit like twitter i thinks it's a ridiculous idea, but it thought I'd give it a go with two subjects.

Monday, 16 November 2009

I think i'm one of them

Everyone in the office is talking about the X Factor. For those that don't live in the UK, it's our equivalent of American Idol, Simon Cowshit and all.
It's the noisiest show on Telly and i always have to turn the sound down when it's on. Sometimes off completely when Jedward are singing.

I feel lost when people are talking about a show that i don't watch. It's like Soap operas or heavy rock music. It passes me by and i have no interest.

I once had a really strained conversation with a guy who started talking about what he considered to be "the greatest comedy show of all time".
As it turned out it was Mash. Never seen it, never been interested in it.
I'm sure it's brilliant, but not for me. It's a bit like Laurel and Hardy. I once found myself pissing myself laughing at one of their films and was hooked. I convinced Daniel to watch one with me. It was shit. They were about 60 in this one, and they looked like a couple of old men trying to act like kids. We both lost interest and turned over.

Anyways, i mentioned the fact that i wasn't interested and it was suggested in a humorous way that i perhaps was more of a Strictly Come Dancing Man.
Then they realised that it might sound a bit offence (your gay so you must like ballroom dancing) and it all went quiet for a bit.
I thought that was funnier than a Laurel and Hardy moment. People don't know what to say anymore do they ?. I knew they didn't mean anything by it, but they got offended for me.
You just know don't you ? when it's said in jest with no meaning, and when it's really meant to be offencive. Well i do anyway.

Sunday, 15 November 2009


Another weekend and i'm going nowhere.

You can't have everything i suppose, But buying this house has put a severe dampener on my social life and i need to do something about it. I'm skint for starters and i need to find some new mates in this area so those are the two area that need tackling. Once this weekend is over i'm gonna stop spending money on the house and stick something away for fun so that's that for starters.
Next up where do i find new friends ?. Local Pub ?, LGBT group ?, Local Community help group ?.

NO ! a pervy online gay dating website. LOL. I'm a lazy git arn't i ?. It's just too easy to log on. And besides it was pissing it down outside so better to meet someone before you meet someone, if you get my meaning.
He looked alright in the picture, but he had more spots in the flesh. His name was Paul and i won't be seeing him again.
It's just not me this Internet dating thing. I might sound like i'm contradicting myself here but if i meet someone in person and i like what i see, i'm up for it and can be a bit of a relentless slapper if i have also had a drink. A picture online seems to miss all the foreplay. That's the exciting bit for me. In fact it's the most important bit really. I get bored after that.
I have had an email from a fellow blogger that i vaguely know from the past, he lives in the area but is much older than me and not my type so i might contact him just to chat (but that's all).

Anyway i have decided to move to plan B. I have invited Daniel over for the weekend next week whilst Howard is away and we will go and check out the local Town Centre drinking dens.
Or perhaps look closer to my home and see if there is anywhere worth a visit. It would be nice to find some like minded people i can get to know.

By the way, if you're thinking what has all this got to do with the picture ?. The answer is, nothing, it just made me laugh that's all.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Dirty Words

Not much time to blog today, i'm finishing painting this weekend. But as i have five minutes to spare lets write the first shit that comes into my head and then post a picture shall i?.

When i was a kid my parents never described my Penis as a penis, It was a Tail or a willy (LOL).
I don't know if this is just a northern expression but girls bits were called their tuppence, or pee pee (snigger)
I always wondered what Porn film would be like if they still used the words they were taught when they were kids.
Stick your tail into my tuppence big boy doesn't have that same ring about it does it ?.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Rude awakening

I'm lying in bed half asleep this morning drifting in and out of consciousness, when i suddenly realise that its the day for the bin men to come and collect the rubbish.
So i jump outta bed in just my undies and run down stairs to put the bins out. Then i run back up again realising that i'm almost naked.
Then i run back down again because my clean cloths are in a case in the main room as i'm still in the process of moving and decorating.
Then i run back up stairs again because i forgot that i took the case upstairs last night before i went to bed.
Then i run back down again because i didn't take the case upstairs after all, it was a dream, i just stuck it behind the kitchen door.
So i get to the kitchen door when the bin man walks past the window and sees me looking knackered, naked, and pissing myself laughing at how stupid the whole situation was.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

The Shame of it

I had to go to the supermarket with one of the women in the office yesterday morning to stock up on stuff for the canteen
I went to grab a trolley whilst she went inside shopping. But when I followed her in I accidentally crashed the trolley against the door and it made a hell of a racket as the sliding doors opened and closed behind me. It was a noisy entrance I know but I wasn’t prepared for the welcome I received once inside.

I looked up to see where the boss had gone and suddenly realised it was really quiet and everyone was standing still and looking directly at me.
It was like something from a film. I didn’t make that much noise so why was everyone in the place staring at me?
This incident took place at 11 minutes past 11 on the 11th of the 11th.
It was Armistice Day and everyone was observing a minutes silence for the war dead
If there had been a rock I would have gladly crawled under it.
Lest we forget
I forgot.

It reminded me of when i was a kid, i saw a drunken man staggering out of a pub. He was practically bouncing off the walls he had drunk so much and had grab a railing to stop himself from falling over.
I pointed this out to all my friends and was laughing at him as he turned and looked directly at me with my arm stretched and finger pointing.
As it turned out he wasn't a drunk, he had a terribly deformed face down one side and was severely disabled.
He looked into my eyes as i looked into his. My face dropped as fast as my finger and i felt so bad about it that even to this day it sends shivers down my spine.

I may not have done any of these things intentionally but i still feel a pillock and ashamed.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

How to look good naked

I watched a little bit of 'How to look good naked' on the telly the other night.

For those who don't live in the UK, it's one of those fashion shows where a gay man tells fat women how sexy they are and to prove it, he humiliates them for 45 minutes, then dresses them up like a tart and parades them in front of a group of strangers at a shopping mall, before bullying them into stripping off completely to prove they are cured of fatism.
It always amazes me how women will swallow any old crap concerning fashion as long as it comes out of the gob of a gay man. If their husbands or any other heterosexual fella started giving them tips on make up or cloths and started degrading them in front of strangers they would probably tell him to piss off.

But for some reason it's all allowed as long as he's gay, talks camp, acts like an acid queen and dresses like a complete and utter pillock himself.
I just wish one of these women would turn round and say 'have you looked in the mirror recently yourself love ?, you took a twat'.

Now if it were all about telling men how to look sexy and making them walk around in their pants, that would be different.
After that finished there was a Science documentary on BBC 2 called Why do we talk ?.
Another bloody program for women.

We are fast approaching winter here in the UK and by about 4.30 in the afternoon it gets cold and dark. Add to that a downpour of rain, wintry winds, and everyone walking around wearing black and you can imagine how depressing it all seems.
I hate winter, I get home from work, close the curtains turn the fire on and that’s it, day over.
There is no incentive to do anything or go anywhere. Now i'm bloody painting all the time and all the excitement of moving is turning into a chore.
But i've finished the Bathroom, Bedroom, most of the main room and quite a lot of the hallway.
The Kitchen will have to wait and the Garage looks like the inside of a skip, but i'm getting there.

I read in the paper yesterday that an Australian Hacker claims to be the first person to infect the Apple I-phone with a virus.
Well done, congratulations, what a clever man.
Tosspot !

Pretty Person

Tuesday, 10 November 2009


My job seems to be going ok at the moment. I'm getting into the swing of things and everyone seems ok.
Better still i get to move about a bit more than i did in my previous job.

I'm not tied to a desk and have a more varied set of tasks to do in a week.
One day i can be in the office full time, the next i can be in the warehouse checking purchase orders and stock. I might be invoicing to customers or calculating wages, Or i could be typing letters and filing things away.

I'm probably a Jack of all trades, master of none. But it's much more enjoyable and i get to meet more of the people who work here by getting outta the office and around the factory.
It's funny how stereotypes don't really translate into reality nowadays. The fella at the next desk to me came from university and earns a fortune. He reads the Sun newspaper, describes women as "birds" and listens to Radio One.
Whereas one of the guys in the warehouse who had very little education and earns peanuts, listens to classical music and Radio Four whilst reading the Telegraph and buying antiques off ebay.

I like old things. My family don't have any antiques. My mum would have thrown them away thinking they were just old. I remember her chucking an old antique coffee table away because it looked "done" and replacing it with a glass and metal affair. But i wouldn't know the difference between something that was worthless or priceless anyway.
This statue in the picture would appeal to me, but i think it's more to do with the subject matter than anything else.
I wouldn't care if it was real or fake.
It would go in my bedroom i think. I imagine it would be a nice piece of art to feel don't you ?.

Monday, 9 November 2009

The Perils of Drink

I still feel a little bit delicate today. Yesterday i was even worse, Headache, tired, feeling sick. I think i have Wine Flu. LOL.
I don't know if it's to do with the amount i drank on Saturday night or the fact that i didn't sleep much so practically partied around the clock.
We went to a bonfire first and there was free drinks and food, so that was that until Daniel said he was freezing his bollocks off, so back to his and Howard's to change out of our muddy, shitty cloths and into something worth going out in.

I nearly stopped there and didn't bother going out. You can't take a break during a drinking session. It either makes you tired or sober.
But with a little push from the others we all went out and after about an hour i don't really remember much.
I was absolutely blathered and spent much of Sunday morning with my head down the toilet.
God knows how i drove home at lunchtime, I'm sure that if i had been pulled over and breathalysed i would have failed.
I don't think i was completely sober from the night before, what was i thinking?. But i just wanted to get home and in my own bed.
As i always say at times like that. NEVER AGAIN !.
Well not until next time anyway.

I'm just glad i didn't go off with Steve. Apparently we saw him and i was gonna go over to say hello.
But Daniel dragged me back. He was right, if i had gone home with him god knows what i would have got up to. I would have been completely open to anything.
God it makes me shiver at the thought.
Quite a horny thought i might add, but not one i would have liked to be thinking about in reality today.
My guard was down and I'm pretty sure safe sex and sensible thinking would have been an afterthought, he could have done anything to me. And Steve being Steve, he probably would.
Daniel Saved me.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Hung over

Had a really heavy night last night. I went to a Bonfire and there was lots of free drink so i went mad a bit. I feel sick today.
I can't be arsed blogging, so heres a picture of a pretty person instead

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Hello Stranger

I'm going home for tonight. I can stay at Howard and Daniels and we can have a night out in Mancs.
Unfortunately this will involve sleeping on Howard's Sofa, but at least i'll have a break from working on the house.

I don't know if i'm turning into an alcoholic or something but i actually feel like a drink. Or is it just that i fancy getting out of here. Weekends aren't just about meeting friends and having fun. It's about change. Doing something different than that you do the rest of the week. It breaks the monotony. I'm sure that if i partied every night of the week i'd probably look forward to a weekend of office boredom.

I'm not knocking this place but i have still yet to see anyone i fancy. there seems to be very little totty about. Most of the blokes on this estate look like they would kick your head in rather than say hello. And hald of them look like they ain't had a bath since September. Perhaps it's just me. It's the same In Oldham i suppose, but i know more people there so it seems less intimidating. I have mates who look like thugs, But that's just it, they only look like them. If you met them they would be ok with you.
But how do you make friends in a world where saying hello to strangers just comes across as weird ?.
It's just not something people do anymore is it?. I've done it myself.

Me & Daniel were once sat next to a guy in a pub, he struck up a conversation over something or nothing and we couldn't shake him off. In the end we got up and moved away.
It seemed a bit strange. We didn't know him, who was he ?, what did he want?. why was he talking to us ?. What did he mean by "do you know any places worth visiting around here ?"
The guy was obviously a freak or pervert trying to get a shag out of us or something.

Or perhaps with hindsight he was just being friendly....

Anyway, just to show how the tables turn. I'm out in Manchester tonight. and Hopefully i'll bump into one of those perverts looking to take advantage of me LOL

P.s. The photo at the side bares no relevance to this post. I'm just trying to make my blog look a bit prettier by adding the odd picture.
Well i think it's pretty anyway.
I'd shag him. ;-)

Friday, 6 November 2009

Checking out the area

To one side of me there is a family, to the other is a woman in her 40s, i think, i don't really know i rarely see her.
She lives on her own, and has about three hundred cats from what i can see. She is very quiet and has no visitors. I never hear a TV or Radio sound coming through the walls and she doesn't seem to come outside much.
Her garden looks like an overgrown field and her garden shed is falling to bits. Literally. When It got windy the other day a piece of the roof blew off and a window dropped out. She looks a bit mousy and wears glasses. A sort of cross between a train spotter and stamp collector with a mix of librarian and computer geek thrown in for good measure .

I don’t really know much about the rest of the street. No one speaks to each other by the look of it. They drive straight up to their garage doors, open, drive in, and disappear into their houses for the next 12 hours before reappearing again the next morning and driving off again.

Halifax is quite a hilly area. No good for anyone with a bike. There is even a weird looking white ski slope overlooking the town, that stands out like a sore thumb from the crevice of a two sloping green hills.
But that's not unusual because the famous Halifax Building Society head office looks like the titanic sinking into a sea of old fashioned buildings as far as i am concerned. It's all 1970's architecture, big, flash and looks totally out of place.

Driving around here is crap. Every 100 yards there is either a pelican crossing, traffic lights or a junction. You just get going before you have to stop again. There seems to be a Pizza takeaway on every corner and you can tell instantly whether your in an affluent area or a poor one.

The town center is a very busy drinking den. There is a pub or a club within two steps and staggering distance of each other. But all of it seems totally heterosexual and completely Barron of any Gay Nightlife whatsoever.

I can't see myself spending many nights out in this place. I'll be traveling over to Manchester i think. I'm already onto that one. How do i get over there for a night out ?. I'll let you know tomorrow.
Cos i'm giving things a rest here. I need a break. Even if i am skint, i'm still going out tomorrow night, by hook or by crook. I'll get the money from somewhere.
I'll have to get myself down by the station and offer one blow job for two drinks, three for a shag. Five and I'm anybodies anyway, so you can do what you like LOL .

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Dirty Mind

There is a battle going on at work over the heating. Some people think it's getting cold and want it on high, others think it's too hot and want it off.
Perhaps i should break a window again ?.

Anyone thinking of Moving to Virgin Cable Broadband don't bother they're crap.
I wrote a whole post telling you about my experience trying to get online and then realised that it was boring shit for a blog read. You don't wanna hear it. Let's just say it went on and on and the words "Call" "Center" and "India" were used a lot.

It's funny how doing work where you can think about stuff whilst your doing it means that sex crops up all the time.

In my normal day job i need to concentrate, but painting and decorating and manual work is a bit of a no brainer. You can switch off and daydream. I have already planned my first house party, won the lottery (a triple rollover), converted the back bedroom into my shagging room (don't want them messing up the bedsheets of the one i sleep in now do i?) and opened my own gay sauna in the garage.

All fantasy, all enjoyable, all bollocks.

I can see how manual work can be therapeutic to some people. But you can't just break off when you get fed up. I stopped for a piss half way through painting the ceiling and it looks like i've split my room into two, the overlap makes it looks crap. It dried in that few minutes i took off to wave my willy at the porcelain so when i started up again it looks like i've given that bit a second coat rather than one continuous one. I'm having to do it all again.
Note to self : less tea, less pissing.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Time for myself

Time away from work for half an hour and i sit here at the computer and write drivel for a while.
I don't know if i'm back to blogging again full time but let's give it a go shall we ?.

My old flat had blinds on the windows and looked out across a road to a brick wall and some flats and houses to one side that you would need binoculars to see into. It hardly had any light coming in really and was quite private in many ways (as long as you ignored the paper walls).
My new house has big open windows looking down a street to other houses, very light and bright and open for anyone to look into. I have already seen the woman at number three picking her nose whilst watching Eastenders.
So no walking round in my knickers or in the nip anymore for me. There is always a downside isn't there ?

I read a great put down in the paper the other day. "even if she were the last woman on earth i'd still only use her for bait to catch a wild animal"

It was the birthday today of one of the guys in the warehouse, he is 20. I couldn’t find a card with happy 20th on it, so I got him two fives and a ten. The joke was lost on him. Humour is a weird thing, you either get it or you don't. Some people pissed themselves laughing others thought i was a weirdo.

As i type this i still think i stink of white spirits from cleaning the paint off my hands. I've washed them with soap and water as well but I'm wondering if i should give them another swill before i have a wank. I don't want a repeat of the Vics incident from my childhood.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Update on Moving Home

I'm now in residence at my new home and have had my broadband turned on. But this house move is turning into a nightmare. I think i may have bitten off more than i can chew. I'm coming home from work, stuffing a sandwich down my throat and then dragging an old pair of jeans and t-shirt on to start grafting away into the night painting, decorating and rebuilding this dump into some kind of home.
It was a little bit on the derelict side (that's another reason it was so cheap) but there is a sense of achievement when you transform a mess into something you can live in. My personal peeve is that it doesn't seem to be taking the same amount of time it does when you see it on TV.
They transform homes in an hour for god sake, why is this taking bloody weeks ?. And they manage to do it on a budget that's under £ 100. This is costing a fortune !.
How much work can there be?. What needs changing ?.
Well ladies and gentlemen, may i present a couple of snaps of my bathroom and the ceiling of the main room before i started work on it. Don't ya just love the colour of the paintwork, the wallpaper and especially the toilet seat ?.

I have said it before and i'll say it again. Just because i am gay doesn't mean i know anything about interior design or fashion, but even i know that this is unacceptable and it all has to go. It's giving me a headache just looking at it.

How can people live in something like this ?.