Thursday, 12 November 2009

The Shame of it

I had to go to the supermarket with one of the women in the office yesterday morning to stock up on stuff for the canteen
I went to grab a trolley whilst she went inside shopping. But when I followed her in I accidentally crashed the trolley against the door and it made a hell of a racket as the sliding doors opened and closed behind me. It was a noisy entrance I know but I wasn’t prepared for the welcome I received once inside.

I looked up to see where the boss had gone and suddenly realised it was really quiet and everyone was standing still and looking directly at me.
It was like something from a film. I didn’t make that much noise so why was everyone in the place staring at me?
This incident took place at 11 minutes past 11 on the 11th of the 11th.
It was Armistice Day and everyone was observing a minutes silence for the war dead
If there had been a rock I would have gladly crawled under it.
Lest we forget
I forgot.

It reminded me of when i was a kid, i saw a drunken man staggering out of a pub. He was practically bouncing off the walls he had drunk so much and had grab a railing to stop himself from falling over.
I pointed this out to all my friends and was laughing at him as he turned and looked directly at me with my arm stretched and finger pointing.
As it turned out he wasn't a drunk, he had a terribly deformed face down one side and was severely disabled.
He looked into my eyes as i looked into his. My face dropped as fast as my finger and i felt so bad about it that even to this day it sends shivers down my spine.

I may not have done any of these things intentionally but i still feel a pillock and ashamed.


Cash said...


naturgesetz said...

Forgetting 11/11 11:11 is embarrassing, but you'll probably live it down because it wasn't directed at anybody. But I understand why the misplaced ridicule incident stays with you — there was no way for you to undo it. Lots of us have those moments when we did something hurtful that we regretted but could never repair, and just like you we feel bad whenever we remember them.