Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Found him

Had daniel knocking on my door tonight, he came across on the bus!.
Really worried. He was in a right state. He's been ignoring all calls to his mobile, including his mum.
no news of the condition of the guy he smacked but I told him he's not dead and we need to go back and sort this out.
Apparently there is more but he won't tell me about it. He looked like he's been crying.
Have called his parents and we are going back over when he gets outta my shower.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Houston we have a problem.
As amazing as this may sound we have a situation unfolding here.
Daniel has punched someone outside a pub. Some guy was being abusive with a couple of his mates, a row followed that turned into a small fight.
Unfortunatly one punch from Daniel knocked the guy to the floor where he banged his head.
The latest info we have is that the guy is in intensive care and Daniel has gone missing thinking he's killed him.
I can't believe I'm writing this, it sounds like something from a film.
More to follow when I hear it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, 24 May 2010

Smelly weather

It's amazing how a bit of sun can cheer you up.
It's been a scorcher this weekend and ben is burnt to a cinder. I tan quite easily if I could be bothered to sit in it, but I don't.

It's also a bit hot and sticky having sex in this weather. Not that it shouldn't always be, but I'm touching noone in this heat until they've had a shower first Lol. That's my OCD kicking in again.

On saturday night the smells were overpowering. I didn't mind the fellas, most of them just overdid the deoderant but the women were horrendous. Half of them must have had a bath in perfume before they came out, and it was that horrible floral flowery type stuff. Eeeurrgh my gag reflex was struggling to cope at times. Ladies, a little is nice, a lot just stinks.

I've been lucky enough to get out of the office today. Normally I'm sat sweating my arse off indoors on hot days and out when it pisses it down. But not this time.

Then I stood in some dog shit and no matter what you do it's permanant. I could hardly breath in the car.
Fucking dog owners!.

Ben is gonna stop at my place over the upcoming bank holiday weekend.
Let's see if we can live together for three days and still like each other afterwards.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, 21 May 2010

I spy

ben is sometimes toooooo quiet.

One to one he's fine but in company he seems to drift into the background. I don't mean he doesn't get involved, he just doesn't speak unless someone asks him something. It's like he's not there.
Also, he can turn off when he's Reading. A bomb could go off and he wouldn't notice it. I on the other hand get distracted easily so need peace and quiet when I'm Reading. I don't want the telly on or anyone flitting around me.

He can have music playing and an electric drill running and it wouldn't bother him, it's like he's in his own little world.
We are like chalk and cheese. I just hope it works to our advantage rather than the other way around.

Just missed a couple of fit looking lads on bikes ride past with their tops off. Nice bodies, a bit to many tats for my liking but certainly eye candy. Why am i'm I never ready with my camera when that happens?.
Actually thinking about it would I have dared take a picture ?.

I could do with some of those spy glasses, they look like an ordinary pair of specs but have a hidden camera in the nose bit. When you see something nice you touch a switch by your ear and it captures the image. Or did I just dream this exists?.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Another day another dime

Ryan has a spot on his chin and he's picked it overnight, you couldn't really see it yesterday but today it looks like a bullet hole. He was trying to get rid of it but just made it worse, he might as well have coloured it in with a felt tip pen. Reminds me of my teens.

Kath , one of the women in the office , accidently put her mobile phone in the wash. It had a full 2 hour cycle, spin and dryer and fell in bits. The sim card was rescued from the filter and the back of the case appeared in a pair of knickers.
She brought all the bits to work today and asked if anyone could fix it for her.
Everyone laughed but helped put it back together like a jigsaw puzzle. We switched it on and the bloody thing worked !!!!
Well done Nokia.

I'm getting the dead eye from someone at work, he hasn't said anything or done anything so I can't actually complain about him but I can smell a homophobe a mile off and I suspect he doesn't like me for some reason.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

You can't win can you ?

Im starting to feel tired now. To many late nights. I'm going to bed early but not sleeping. I know what your thinking but it's not for that reason.
I just can't sleep with someone else there. He's too hot. And I'm not talking hot as in hot!!! I mean he's like a hot radiator.
Then he whistles when he breaths and any movement wakes me up.

Last night I had to ask him to face the other way because I could feel his breath in my ear. Lol it's pathetic isn't it?. But he's one of these people who just shuts their eyes and in seconds they are unconcious. I'm different, I can even find myself getting out of bed to straighten some shoes if they ain't put away properly. otherwise it annoys me and I'm thinking about it all the time. I must have that OCD. anyway I'll have to get used to it. I think.

I'm getting a bit stupid with my new phone, ben told me I'm obsessed with it, and thinking about it I probably am at the moment. I'm using stupid apps for everything.

I now know that it takes 32 mins and 48 seconds to get from my front door to work in the morning and can show a map of the route, I can watch sky news whilst having a shit, check my lotto numbers, read my emails in the bath and I know my bmi is ok. I can tell the phone to play music without pressing buttons and I know which way is north should I ever get lost. Another app will show me where the nearest pub is even though I know where it is anyway and I'm getting red hot at darts and snooker.
just spent 10 minutes of my tea break tossing an imaginary piece of paper into an imaginary dustbin and downloaded another app that will help me find my car again when I park it somewhere. And worst of all I do the very thing that annoys me when others do it. I have conversations with people without actually paying attention and looking up from my phone. They talk and I just tap away and Say yes. It's as if I'm on drugs or something.
Ridiculous, but fun.

The novelty will wear off soon, it always does.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Blogging on the move

The boss is on holiday this week so it's a bit more free and easy in the office for a change.
And with a bit of luck he'll get stuck abroad because of the ash cloud.

Actually I don't really hope that happens, the place falls apart when he's not here, there is a sudden whiff of anarchy about and people stop working and start pissing around. Thats ok for about five minutes then it gets on my tits. You can't get on with your own work and I crave someone with a bit of authority to settle people down again.

There was a game of football taking place in the canteen about an hour ago and the noise was appaling.
Perhaps I'm turning into a boring old fart but when I'm at work I wanna work. I like it to be fun and a happy atmosphere but not like a Saturday night out.

I think I might have got this phone blogging cracked.
All I need to do is upload a couple of pictures and I can access that post on my phone to add the text bit to.
I phones are ace for typing, you get a proper keyboard and I can type as normal. I could do with smaller fingers though I feel like I have sausages for fingers.

I wonder if anyone has ever tried typing a blog with their cock?.

Sunday, 16 May 2010


Now we don't wanna be losing the pictures do we ?.

His name is ben, I was actualy after his mate initially but he made it quite clear that he fancied me more than his mate did. Of course flattery gets you everywhere in this world so I quickly lost interest in his mate and latched on to him.

He's 24, blonde (but surprisingly not dumb), curly/wavey hair, smooth chest, fantastic teeth, greenish eyes, and one of those cocks that look tiny when soft but get a he'll of a lot bigger when he gets all excited, lol!. And thin as well, not fat, more like a cigarette than a cigar.

That last bit sounded like a gaydar profile didn't it?. Anyway when you ignore the looks you find he's sweet and quiet and reads books and is a bit shy and is slightly backwards when it comes down to the ways of he world.

He's only ever slept with one other guy and it wasn't really anything more than a quick fummble aparently. Ahh bless him. I certainly changed all that !!!!!! Snigger :-))
He lives in a dump and has no transport so it's easier for me to go to him than the other way around, that way I don't have to take him home afterwards.

It's still early days I suppose, we might fall out and hate each other by the end of next week (well we are a couple of homosexuals after all) but for now let's just see.

In the mean time, keep your fingers crossed for me.

Test post

I'm not gone, I haven't been run over and I haven't forgotten about blogging
I've sort of found someone and as you can imagine it leaves less time to blog when your just shagging all the time.
You may have noticed I'm posting this from my phone.
That's because I'm spending more time at his place than I am at mine.
I've downloaded an app that let's me blog on the move so I might try do more.
Did I tell you I got a new phone?. Boys and toys, I don't know who I love most him or this!.
Anyway stand by for some test posts. I have no idea how it will look on the page, I'll have to check later when I'm home.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Voting in the UK Elections

I stopped off on my way home from work to vote today.

Strangely there has been nothing political on the TV or the Radio all day (bliss). Someone told me that they are not allowed to on the actual day of the election, I can't think why, but it didn't seem to include the papers because they were pulling out all the stops.

If i'm honest it just got up my nose. I hate someone telling me what to do and especially in such a sledgehammer way. Give me the details and let me decide. According to the Murdoch press if i don't vote Conservative the world will end on Friday morning and we will have riots in the street, But they told us all to vote Labour last time so what do they know?.
The Daily Mirror (A proper Labour paper) think i should avoid David Cameron because he's a posh knob, but they would do wouldn't they ? and i'm sick of the class thing being thrown around at times like this.
No one supports The Liberals, or at least i've not seen any paper that does, and anyway a vote for them is supposed to be a waste.

So all in all it's hardly a surprise that they are predicting a hung parliament where no one wins and we all end up doing it again in a few months time. That's probably why i heard someone leave the polling station saying "see you again soon"

Anyway i walked into the hall where throngs of people could flex their voting muscles. The place was empty, no one around except three blokes sat behind a trestle table with bits of paper. Me appearing out of nowhere made them sit up like a dog suddenly realising their owner has just come home.
There are two ballot sheets. The Main General Election and the Local Government elections which are being held at the same time.

They couldn't find my Local Election Ballot paper for a while and more or less shit themselves with worry.
It eventually appeared stuck to someone else's and you could see the relief on their faces as they apologised for what seemed like the three hundredth time.

The private cubical that people use to vote in was actually quite dark and i had to step out of it again to read the bloody thing. I wondered why i was putting my X to paper with what looked like a pencil not a pen and imagined someone with a rubber and a proper pen fishing the papers back out of the box again when i left and fiddling them.

I cheated, i didn't actually vote for a person i voted for a party. I looked down the list and found the one i wanted and stuck an X next to it. Thinking about it afterwards i'm not really sure whether it was for a man or a woman, how bad is that ?.

All that time spent trying to find out who i should vote for and the one thing i didn't do was find out who the bloody candidate is.
Still, it's done now.

The one thing i am looking forward to is the end to this intro (below) to a serious late night political TV show on BBC One.
Every time it appears i cringe with embarrassment. I consider it the most horrendous, buttock clenching, watch from behind the sofa, introduction to a political review show.....EVER !!!.
And they say the electorate isn't taking this election serious enough.

Yesterdays News

Times up. At last the general election is upon us and i've got to decide who i'm gonna vote for today.The newspapers are going mad and using every bit of ammo they can to try persuade us to follow their choice. We've even got Simon Cowell in on the act. LOL.
What does Susan Boyle think i should do ?, that's what i want to know.

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Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Weekend Catch up

Had a really busy weekend so no time for blogging.

I have said this before and i'll say it again, if you have nothing to do you have nothing to blog about. If you do have something to do, you have no time to blog about it.

Actually some of it was X rated so i'm not telling you about it anyway (his name is Robert ;-))
But Daniel and i did manage to get away in the car over the bank holiday weekend.
Where did we go ?.
Whitby !. Yes Fucking Whitby!.
We set off in the car, headed for the coast and ended up in the least exciting place you could imagine for anyone under the age of 75. It wasn't planned, we just pointed the car in that direction and stopped when we saw the sea.
Never mind we decided to drive further down the coast afterwards to the even less exciting Scarborough.

If you don't live in the UK you might not know that i live in a sort of central area of Britain. This means that the coast is more or less the same distance East or West.
From previous experience the West (Blackpool etc) seems to be a little downmarket and rough, so we thought we would give the other side a go this time.
And it was different. Not exactly up market. But somewhere you mum and dad might like to go.
So for future reference and a note to self. Avoid the east coast until your over 40. The west may be a scruffy down market dump but you've more chance of getting drunk, high on drugs, shag anything that looks at you and catch fleas, but that's a much more fun weekend i find.

That funeral i went to was brilliant !. Probably the not the best way do describe a funeral i suppose but i've never been to one like that before.
It was a non religious occasion because he didn't believe in god so this guy got up and just talked about him for about half an hour in what seemed more like a comedy routine.
There were hundreds of people there, i didn't know he knew that many people. And everyone was laughing and smiling. No one cried (well maybe a bit afterwards) but most of the time it was happy memories about a funny man.
Religious funerals tend to be a bit reverent. they go on forever and from what i can tell they seem to have less to say about the person who dies and everything about god. Everyone tends to whisper all the time and there is lots of crying. God forbid someone cracks a smile (excuse the pun).

This one seemed to concentrate on the guy who had just snuffed it and then finished with a sort of...'Oh and by the way, he's dead'
I was pissing myself laughing all the way through.
Better still there were no hymns or singing, and no prayers, we were in and out in no time. I'm not sure that last sentence sounds very respectful, but i'm pretty sure he would have approved of it. To be honest it could have gone on longer for me, because it was very entertaining and i'm ashamed to admit i quite enjoyed it. Perhaps not the best thing to say to my auntie afterwards mind you (oops), but you get the idea.

I'm not sure they went the whole hog and dumped him in a skip round the back afterwards like he requested but when it was all over everyone went to the pub and got pissed.
As we left the pub about an hour and a half later there was a man and woman dancing to the Locomotion and a granny showing he knickers doing a sort of french style Can Can. LOL.
It was more like a wedding reception than a funeral.