Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Weekend Catch up

Had a really busy weekend so no time for blogging.

I have said this before and i'll say it again, if you have nothing to do you have nothing to blog about. If you do have something to do, you have no time to blog about it.

Actually some of it was X rated so i'm not telling you about it anyway (his name is Robert ;-))
But Daniel and i did manage to get away in the car over the bank holiday weekend.
Where did we go ?.
Whitby !. Yes Fucking Whitby!.
We set off in the car, headed for the coast and ended up in the least exciting place you could imagine for anyone under the age of 75. It wasn't planned, we just pointed the car in that direction and stopped when we saw the sea.
Never mind we decided to drive further down the coast afterwards to the even less exciting Scarborough.

If you don't live in the UK you might not know that i live in a sort of central area of Britain. This means that the coast is more or less the same distance East or West.
From previous experience the West (Blackpool etc) seems to be a little downmarket and rough, so we thought we would give the other side a go this time.
And it was different. Not exactly up market. But somewhere you mum and dad might like to go.
So for future reference and a note to self. Avoid the east coast until your over 40. The west may be a scruffy down market dump but you've more chance of getting drunk, high on drugs, shag anything that looks at you and catch fleas, but that's a much more fun weekend i find.

That funeral i went to was brilliant !. Probably the not the best way do describe a funeral i suppose but i've never been to one like that before.
It was a non religious occasion because he didn't believe in god so this guy got up and just talked about him for about half an hour in what seemed more like a comedy routine.
There were hundreds of people there, i didn't know he knew that many people. And everyone was laughing and smiling. No one cried (well maybe a bit afterwards) but most of the time it was happy memories about a funny man.
Religious funerals tend to be a bit reverent. they go on forever and from what i can tell they seem to have less to say about the person who dies and everything about god. Everyone tends to whisper all the time and there is lots of crying. God forbid someone cracks a smile (excuse the pun).

This one seemed to concentrate on the guy who had just snuffed it and then finished with a sort of...'Oh and by the way, he's dead'
I was pissing myself laughing all the way through.
Better still there were no hymns or singing, and no prayers, we were in and out in no time. I'm not sure that last sentence sounds very respectful, but i'm pretty sure he would have approved of it. To be honest it could have gone on longer for me, because it was very entertaining and i'm ashamed to admit i quite enjoyed it. Perhaps not the best thing to say to my auntie afterwards mind you (oops), but you get the idea.

I'm not sure they went the whole hog and dumped him in a skip round the back afterwards like he requested but when it was all over everyone went to the pub and got pissed.
As we left the pub about an hour and a half later there was a man and woman dancing to the Locomotion and a granny showing he knickers doing a sort of french style Can Can. LOL.
It was more like a wedding reception than a funeral.

6 comments:

My Big Itch said...

Hey, I like your blog. Like that you and your boyfriend drove to Whitby. I did the same this past weekend, but we are in NYC and I have a car and we drove to another State, Pennsylvania! Anyway, I am new at blogging. I hope you will stop by and take a look and even join as a FOLLOWER on my blog. New, gay, bi, confused and in a relationship that is unpredictable and sometimes the cause of much distress/ Anyway, my blog is at www.mybigitch.blogspot.com and its called MY BIG ITCH Talk to you soon.
Steve

kinkynik said...

I've always enjoyed a good funeral better than a wedding.

Once you get on to the serious drinking you're away.

Phunk Factor said...

Wow!! That's one crazy funeral!! Would have loved to attend that....even if I didn't kno the deceased!!

drew said...

I have often thought that when I die I would rather have a party for my mourners than a formal service. The idea is to celebrate the persons life so I think what you attended would be down my alley. I was raised very strict catholic but you know how the catholics enjoy a drink or twelve. I think it is great you enjoyed it.. I am sure the one who passed enjoyed it just as much..

Mambam said...

Stan Laurel once said
"If anyone cries at my funeral i will never speak to them again."

I agree with you all but i have to say i don't want people laughing at my funeral. I want them to be in bits, crying and wailing for the loss of a close friend, Maybe someone will throw themselves on the coffin screaming NNnoooooooo!. and there might me another couple comiting suicide because the can't quite control their overbearing grief.
Sod getting pissed and having a laugh.
;=)

naturgesetz said...

Literally lol at your wish for someone throwing himself on your coffin screaming NNnoooooooo! I want to see that! ;)

And how lovely for you to be able to visit places made famous in history and song (Synod of Whitby and Scarborough Fair) even if you do look down on them.

But what's with the pic of the guy with a New York Yankees cap. Are there no decent photos of guys with Boston Red Sox caps? (Of course there are no indecent photos of guys with Red Sox caps. We Red Sox fans are better than that. LOL)