Sunday, 31 January 2010

Funeral preperations

My uncle died last Sunday. He was only 53 He just went to bed and didn’t get back up again.
It’s my mum’s brother and she is gutted. Last week I travelled over to home most nights.
Not that you can do anything other than be there, but at times like this you just want to be there. It’s been like Piccadilly Circus with all the family ringing or call and very emotional. I was roped in to call certain people and give them the bad news and if anyone else says “your Joking!!” one more time I’ll hit ‘em. It’s not the best response to someone telling you that a relative has died.
I was fairly close to him when I was younger. He was always there for birthdays and Christmas, but the older you get the more you drift away from uncles and aunties and you see them less and less.

He was divorced and living alone, but his son found him when he came to give him a lift to work (he works Sundays) and didn’t get a reply at the door. He had his own key so went inside and found him still in bed. They think it was a heart attack or something.

The funeral is tomorrow and I’ve been told I have to wear a black suite. He never really went to church but it looks like it’s gonna be a full on church and after party funeral with procession, flowers, speeches, food and drink.
I hate stuff like this at the best of times so I’m not looking forward to it.

Saturday, 30 January 2010


Just to fill a space and keep you informed.
There has been a death in the family. My Uncle (mums brother) has died suddenly and i'm spending more time with family.
Will be back after the funeral (on Monday) and let you know what happend.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Party Party

As it's weekend, i hope to be out getting drunk and having sexual intercourse with sexy people. To to keep this blog going (and you interested) here's a picture instead.

Friday, 22 January 2010

Don't try this at home

Rob, one of the guys who sit across from me at work has a weird way of talking. If he wants to know whether we need any more milk from the shop he will ask, “How is the milk situation?” and whenever there is a call for me he will say “heading your way” when he puts it through.
This morning he was given a replacement folder for some documents but the holes were punched in the wrong place so some of the pages stuck out of the top making it look a bit untidy.
His translation of this event was
“It’s just a cock hair out, but I’ll suck it and see”

Daniel has suggested we use skype to keep in touch(again). I’ve never bothered with it before but I’m gonna give it a go this time.
Other stuff on the net that seem popular but I can’t be bothered with anymore.
Facebook, twitter, bebo, and E-Bay. So why do I still blog?
Whilst we are on the subject, DVDs are getting on my tits as well. Why can’t you just fast-forward to the start of the film? I don’t wanna be forced into watching a 15 second indent of 20th century Fox.

I have seen a guy in a shop that I quite like. So now all I need to do is find out more about him. Is he or isn’t he? Just because he was nice and friendly means nothing. He’s pretty and dresses well, that means nothing either.
Perhaps the forward approach “are you a poof?” No that doesn’t always go down well does it? “Fancy going out sometime?” no that’s not right either.
I need to be discreet and do some investigating first. So I’m stalking him. I wander around pretending I’m shopping whilst listening to the conversation he’s having with his work colleagues or customers. All I need is one little sign that he’s got a girlfriend and I’m outta there.

I saw something on the news last night about 'the choking game' I once saw this take place at a party but i thought they were just pissing about and never believed it to be true How can you get a high from lack of oxygen ?. If you've never heard of it, these vids will fill you in. Very silly, very dangerous.
And the laughing in the background makes it seem even worse. Don't try this at home. Idiots !

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Like Cats & Dogs

What is it with cats ?.

Next door has a couple and when i come home from work they are always sat on my doorstep, but any attempt at stroking them is met with a sudden snub. They run off as i'm gonna stamp on them or something.
This morning one was sat in the middle of the road. As i got closer in my car it just sat there as if to say 'go on, run me over if you dare'.
It wouldn't shift. Confronted my a massive car slowly edging towards it, it played chicken. Cats are weird creatures.

At least you know where you stand with a dog. It will either rip your face off, or piss itself with excitement at the very thought of you coming home.
Cats are snooty buggers, dogs are thick as two short planks.
I think i'm a dog man. Dogs will shag anything.

Ryans mom is ill. She apparently has some sort of problem with her stomach and needs to go in hospital for an operation according to Ryan. But one of the other women says she knows Ryan's mum and it's more of a women's fanny thing.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

A Small donation

Someone at work asked me for a donation to the Haiti fund today. I only had a couple of quid in my pocket at the time so i gave it to him.
"Is that it ?, you skingy git" he said " you must be earning a fortune and you give two fucking quid ?".

Now don't get me wrong, i do think you should help in any way you can and i believe in charity, blah blah blah. But my pet hate in life is superior bullying shitheads who think they can tell me how much i should give to charity and assume that trying to humiliate me into giving more will work.
I nearly twatted him. I don't give to anyone hassling me in the street, i won't give anything to a charity that asks for a certain amount (£5 per month will pay for....wot ?) and i hate those that expect me to sign something.

Am i a bad person ?. I don't know, but i'm gonna make this bastard life a miserly and find out exactly how much he's collected, where the money goes, and how long he keeps it in his pocket before he passes it on.

Had an email tonight from an old school friend. He contacted me through friends reunited. A web site that i never ever visit. I once logged on to have a look round and have never been back since. All this time later someone wants to say hello. I know the name but i don't even think he was in our year. what the fuck does he want ?.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Up the Nile

Had a great weekend. I got drunk, but managed to keep a head on it.
I had a couple, and got to that nice relaxed, having a good time, feeling happy point, then slowed to a stop.
I wish i could do that all the time. It's a nice feeling but it lasts all of about 15 minutes. One more drink and you tip over the edge into oblivion. I'm good at doing that.

Daniel was in a happy mood as well. He said that Jack had been asking lots of questions about me and that he was thinking of ringing me.
I have no intentions of getting back with him or rekindling any kind of relationship. But the last thing you want to happen when you split with someone is to hear that they are living happily ever after and have moved on to someone else. What you wanna hear is misery and how much they are missing you. Then you can happily move on with your own life, content in the fact that it was a relationship that was never meant to be. Funny that eh ?.

We bumped into one of Dans acquaintances. He is about 30 or so, slightly camp, a bit weird and scruffy looking. The sort who have pink & blond hair with black roots showing. All white skin and spots. Thin as a rake and looking like he wears the same cloths every day. If he were and actor On CSI he would probably play the part of a drug addict.
He was OK though. His name is Nile (? wot ?) and he's a bit of a slapper. Nothing wrong with that. What i didn't like though was the fact that he was a bit of what my dad would call a predator gay.

He has a thing about straight men and seems to have a death wish with it. His goal is to hit on straight men and has millions of stories about married men he meets off gaydar or in saunas. His latest shag was a guy in Blackburn who has three kids under 10.
In fact he goes to a sauna almost every week and travels around from Barnsley, Sheffield through to Leeds and Blackpool. Gay men don't do it for him. he prefers straight men. Although i pointed out that if he's managing to get his lips around their genitals without getting his head kicked in, the chances are, they ain't straight.

I must admit it was all entertaining stuff, but not my cup of tea. I wouldn't wanna share a cup with him in case i caught something.
I seem to remember having a long conversation about crabs and how to get rid of them. If that doesn't tell you enough about him then perhaps you should note that before we left he started telling me about a private glory hole that he is building at his home. He intends inviting guys over to cum and go.
At this point Daniel and I left. Daniel was feeling sick.

I'm not naive to all this stuff i can assure you, but when you actually meet someone who does it, it's different. I'm fully aware that there are people out there into being shit on, but have you ever met or had a conversation with one ?.

Monday, 18 January 2010


I know that just posting a picture is cheating, but I've had a hectic weekend and a pig of a day today so no time to write things.
It is a nice picture though don't you think ?.

Friday, 15 January 2010

OUT and about.

I'm gonna break my New Years Resolution and go out for a drink tonight. I'm stopping at Daniels and we are off into Mancs, so this is a very short blog post.
In fact it's so short, it ends here....

Have a good weekend. see ya laters.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

The story so far...

I keep getting asked about certain people and things i write about. I forget that someone might just drop by and only read one post so have no idea what i'm talking about..
So as i one off (and as nothing of any relevance happened to me today) i thought i would write a short post that answers reoccurring questions.

I came from a part of Manchester that wasn't really gay friendly. All my life i have always heard very anti gay language from both friends and Family. So i always kept my head down and spent most of my youth well and truly in the closet. I eventually told a close friend who turned out not to be a friend. He told everyone else and i was dragged out of the closet kicking and screaming. On the plus side i would never have come out if he hadn't done it as i was happy living a pretend life. But it didn't go down well, i lost a lot of friends, ended up in a few fights fell out with my dad, left home, had nowhere to live spent many nights on friends sofas, and two nights in a garage at the back of a empty house......blah blah blah.

Anyway i ended up in a shitty flat alone with no job and no money, just me and a computer stealing someone elses wifi connection and started this blog.
As i started to come to terms with my sexuality and began sticking two fingers up to everyone (including my family) i moved on, deleted the blog and started to party a bit ;-))). Then i settled down a bit and started to come back down from the euphoria and started to get my life back together again.
I've left a lot of detail out because it was a bit more shitty than that and i got into some bad things. The last thing i wanna do is go over it all again. It's the past. But you get the gist dont' you ?. This blog is a lot tamer than the last one. I posted proper porn at one time and wrote all sorts of stuff about people i liked or hated, i was a mess i think.
Anyway, to start again go back to beginning of this blog.

A couple of other things i keep getting asked about ?.
Daniel for a start is a long time friend. When my life was going tits up, he was the only one who stood by me. He is also gay but we are not, and never have been, an item. I like him, he's good looking and i'm close to him. But he feels more like a brother and a really close mate to me. So close that i think we both know not to go there if you know what i mean.

Ryan is a young guy at work who sits across from me all day and i like a lot. He's 17, as fit as fuck and doesn't realise it, which makes him even more attractive in my book. He's shy, doesn't go out anywhere, spends all his nights in his bedroom at home with his parents playing computer games and is wasting his life away as far as i can see. His best mate is a wanker and Ryan just follows him around like a little puppy. Little did he know that he thinks his mate is the good looking one and he just tags along with they 'other mate'. But in fact he's the one that all the girls swoon over and he's far anyway.
On the down side, he is straight !!!!! shit, fuck, and hairy balls as my auntie jean would say. What a cruel world. I like him and i think he likes me but that's where it ends.

I am out to everyone at work but i don't talk about it to anyone. Why should i ?
And finally ?.
Well as i settle down and get my life on track this blog gets more and more boring. LOL.
Maybe i should write more about my past than the present, it was far more interesting in parts. Ha.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010


What was i thinking ?.

I went out tonight to see some friends. I won't say where i met them, but they are both gay and in the closet. which seems strange as they live together in the same house so the neighbours must know something.
Anyway, it was a social thing and just a meal and a chat. I'm trying to find friends who live close by that would be good to hook up with. But as they both stay closeted around home they were a waste of time.
They travel to Leeds or Manchester and don't go anywhere on the 'scene' in Halifax. In fact they were about as none plus about where to go for any sort of gay life in this town as i am.

I had to travel through Bradshaw to get to them. What a fucking place that is at the moment. I don't think they have seen a gritter since 1976 and it looked like there had been a ton of snow dropped on it over night. The roads were like Glass with ice and at times i wondered what i was doing there.
The things you do to go and meet people, eh ?.
During the summer it might be better and i have had offers to take me on a night out in Leeds or meet some of their other friends. But all those contacts seem to be over towards Leeds.

Daniel rang earlier and i'm going over on Friday night to see him this week. He said he saw Jack today (old flame for those who don't know) and he was asking about me. He said he would tell me more about what was said when i see him on Friday. I can't work out whether he is just building the story up for effect, or if he has something to tell me.
Knowing Daniel, he's building up a story for effect, and the conversation with Jack will have just been "hello, and hows Michael doing?", that's all.

It was bottle ice on the roads this morning and i almost lost it on a corner turning into work.
just a little bit faster and i would have ended up the arse of another car. When the driver pulled over and got out, i thought this might not have been so bad. He was gorgeous. I wouldn't have minded being up his arse at all.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Back in training

What with all the snow and stuff it feels like forever since i last saw Daniel and my family.
It was only the other week but that's a long time if your trying to keep in touch. I've arranged for us to go out this Friday night, weather permitting. Can i have a night out in Manchester without having a drink ?.
No of course i can't, but i can have a night out in Manchester without getting absolutely trashed....I think.

I even invited Ryan over, if he's interested, with his tosser friend. I don't think they will come, but it's an offer. I'll show him a few places worth visiting..snigger.
It's been hell at work, so busy, we are understaffed i think, but the boss is trying to keep staff wages as low as possible so he won't set anyone else on. I suppose it's better to be busy than stare at the walls all day, but it gets a bit heavy at times.
I am thinking of taking up the gym again. It's new year so why not ?. Fitness First costs a bloody fortune so that's out. I wonder if there are any gay gyms around here ?. No come to think of it, that's a bad idea, i'm supposed to be going to get fit, not to shag some totty in the sauna.
Imagine going to a men only gay gym ?. You'd spend more time in the changing rooms wouldn't you ?.

Monday, 11 January 2010

One in the kisser

Back to work, thank god for that. Human beings to talk to.
Mind you within half an hour there were the odd one or two i wanted to piss off and leave me alone, but that's life i suppose.

Ryan had a cut on his lip, he said he got hit in the face with a Wii control.
He then said it had chipped his tooth as well and showed me. I had to lean really close up to see into his mouth. It took me all my strength not to kiss him.
Fuck me, he's got those really beautiful eyes that look really clear and fresh, and teeth that have been looked after, all white and gleeming, he even smelt nice and shower fresh.
Change the subject quick. He's not gay so forget it.

When i tidied up last night i found several used tissues on the bedroom floor. My cold is over so i wonder where they came from ? ;-)

I never slept a wink last night. The downside to sleeping too much is that it catches up on you. Eventually your tired during the day and wide awake at night.
I spent most of my night thinking and trying to tell myself to go to sleep, but then i'd start thinking again and was wide awake till about 6ish. Then for some reason my head decided to go to sleep.
I felt shattered when i got up.

My Type

I like all types of men, Shapes sizes, ages, colours. I find it difficult to just chose one type. I saw a really really attractive guy the other day, but for some reason there was something missing. I can't say what it was, he just didn't do it for me.
On the other hand i have met men who perhaps don't fit the attractive template but have had something else that clicks with me and turns me on.
Pretty isn't everything but if i were to chose something to go to bed with, this would be it.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

The reason why i don't like Pink ?

Bored, messing with Windows Movie maker.
I love this program, but sometimes they come up with things that i find hard to believe. This could possibly be the reason why i hate the colour pink.

Too much sleep

Well bollocks to that.

I'm not having another weekend like this one. I closed the door on Friday night and i'm still here Sunday night. No human contact with anyone and i feel more knackered than if i'd actually gone out and had a blast. I've slept for Britain, eaten the entire contents of the cupboard and come close to wanking myself to death. I haven't had a shave and if i don't wash up soon there wont be a single knife or fork left that hasn't been used.
What a bloody lazy git i've been.

It's been like a lost weekend. How can you get up at lunchtime, then feel tired enough to have a kip on the sofa at 5 o'clock in the afternoon for two hours, then wake up and feel tired for the rest of the night ?.
I might as well have gone out of the raz and got absolutely aresholed for what good this relaxing thing does for you.

When i'm 70 and housebound, someone shoot me. I can't stand this. I need to get myself out into the fresh air or something. I don't give a shit whether i can afford it or not, i'm out next weekend doing something. no matter what.

Bored bored bored.

Friday, 8 January 2010

Not going out

It's a Friday night and i'm stopping in.
No partying for me this weekend. And no Daniel coming over either. In fact no contact with any other human being if i'm not careful.

Apart from Shopping for food i'm going no-where. It feels weird. How will i cope ?. Close the door tonight and apart from a trip to Asda i won't be stepping out till Monday morning.

So i intend going through all my stuff that is still in boxes.
First box.
Porn !!

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Winter ramblings

What wonderful weather we're having, it's lovely don't you think ?(sic).
Let's say nothing more about it shall we ?.
Actually if i think about it, i'm glad i didn't decided to commute from Oldham. Can you imagine having to get over the tops in this shit ?.
Too many questions in these first few lines me thinks. back to proper blogging. Today in Twitter style bite sizes

My Mum has rung almost every night to see if i got home from work ok in the snow. Awww bless!!.
Apparently the guy next door got hit in the eye with a snowball and had to go to hospital.

Daniel jumped into a huge pile of fluffy snow in the back garden like a big kid. But the dog had shit in it and he got it all over his coat.

The place i used to work at has made several people redundant this week so that was a close call wasn't it ?.

Jonathan Ross is leaving the BBC. One of my favourite programs. The moaning old bastards who never watched him anyway and don't like anything that isn't the Antiques Roadshow are wetting themselves with joy. I'll miss him, but who gives a shit what i think. The opinions of miserable old Daily Mail fuckers are all that matter in this world.

Daily Mail comments
"what are people in the UK moaning about, It's only a bit of snow, get over it" B Shepard - Ex pat Bermuda

It's January the 7th and i still haven't had a drink. My new years resolution is going well.

Asked Ryan how his girlfriend is but he said he didn't know, he hasn't seen her much since New Year. LOL!. Me thinks that relationship isn't gonna last.

My mobile keeps turning itself off, bloody thing.

It was so cold last night i stopped sleeping naked (apart from boxers). Now i can't sleep because i feel all tied up with t shirt and bloody jim jam bottoms i haven't worn since i was 11. Every time i turn over it all twists and pulls.
My mum suggested a hot water bottle or an electric blanket. I'm turning into an old man.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Shit happens

Got stuck in the snow tonight.
Had to dig out the drive
Listening to moaning old git all day telling me how this isn't proper snow, when he was young it used to snow for months on end and got to 20ft deep in some area, before climbing into his 4X4 and driving home.
Listening to more moaning bastards complaining that there is snow everywhere and are disgusted the council don't have a fleet of 500 gritters on standby just in case it snows twice a year.
Cars getting in the way when i'm driving up a slippy hill and don't want to lose my momentum
Stupid tosspots trying to overtake when i'm driving slow on purpose
Not having a good day today. Can you tell ?

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Hit & Run

The down side to having time off at Christmas is that there is piles of work to do when you get back.
We were so busy today that no-one noticed the Christmas trimmings and cards were still up. Ryan was made to take them all down and by the time he had finished it looked all empty and bare. Much like Offices are in reality. there isn't much sparkle around a working office from January to November.

Somehow i have managed to dent my car. I don't know when, where, or who. But there is a big dent in my back door. It can't have been me or i would have remembered doing it. So that means a hit and run when i parked it somewhere. Bastards !

Monday, 4 January 2010

Back to the old routine

Well that's Christmas and New Year over and done with. Back to work and within an hour it feels like i never had a holiday at all.

I enjoyed my time off but it's good to get back into the old routine. Funny that eh ?. I sometimes wonder whether i would give up my job if i won the lottery. I'd get bored i think.

Ryan has got a girlfriend apparently (shame) her name is Sophie and she works in a shop selling cards. He didn't seem to be all excited about it. When i asked him to describe her he just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said she was 'alright'.
Then one of the blokes from the warehouse asked if he'd shagged her yet and he went all quiet and changed the subject. I don't think he has, he just wanted to get away from that sort of questioning, and who can blame him. Some people seem to think they can ask anything, nosey git.

Mind you i do have an image in my head of his little bum going up and down LOL.
Even though i am Gay i do have heterosexual fantasies. I don't mean i imagine myself having sex with a woman. I imagine being the woman, or perhaps in a threesome and the women pisses off and leaves me and the other guy to it.
I'm wondering off subject here aren't i ?.

Anyway, must dash i have something i just decided i wanna do ;-)))

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Just Chillin

I have done absolutely sod all today. Back to work tomorrow so I'm just chillin.
Nothing to blog about so let's just have a picture instead.

Friday, 1 January 2010

New Year

It's the day after the night before. You don't expect me to blog on New Years Day do you ?.
It's taken me all my energy to turn the bloody computer on. My eyes hurt, my teeth hurt, my head hurts.
New Years Resolution Number one... Give up alcohol.