Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Kids are alright

Been to the gym tonight for a change and i got Daniel to come as well because he is staying at my place for a few days. I can't get myself there on my own it's no good. I need someone to come with me. The best time for me to go alone would be to call straight from work but it's always really busy at that time and you end up sitting next to some smelly women on the rowing machine.

I've read lots of gay men writing about Gyms being a places for meeting up but i think that's bollocks. Anywhere that is infested with Hetero men and women is lifeless of any cruising as far as i am concerned.

Maybe i walk around with my eyes shut but i don't get any come ons from this gym anyway.
I might get a flash of a sweaty arse in the changing rooms but i'm always fearful of getting my head kicked in so i keep it down at all times.

Never mind, i'm not there for a shag anyway am i ?. Perhaps if i were i might go more often.

Rob at work was telling me about bumping into his old Teacher at lunch time and how he still found himself calling the guy Sir.
I knew a guy at school that we used to call Sprout because he was so small. He's now about 6ft 4 and people still call him sprout. He got married last year i think and has a sprout of his own.
I'm now at that age where my friends are getting hitched and having kids. That's not gonna happen to me is it ?. I don't know how i feel about that. I do think about it sometimes. I hate weddings so i'm not bothered about that side of things. But would i like kids?. I'm not sure yet, i keep changing my mind. One minute i think no, the next i feel like i'm missing out. I never really thought of it before but as guys i went to school with start settling down with their girlfriends it makes me think.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Love is the Drug

How was that then ?, No post for ages and then two in one day.
Anyway onwards and upwards.
Is your life as boring as mine?.
Wake, work, home, bed ?. I think i need more excitement. I'm not going to own up to taking lots of drugs but i've dabbled. Nothing heavy you understand. Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty would think i was a lightweight, but i've had more than Night nurse and Venos.

What i find interesting about it is that although i still feel a bit shit afterwards it pales into insignificance to the way i feel when i've had a drink.
Last weekend i had a particularly heavy night out on the pop and woke up the next morning feeling like death warmed up.
My sticky gob tasted like the inside of a toilet and i felt sick and weak. My eyeballs were stinging and hurt like hell and i was cursed with a headache that started at my temple and finished half way down the back of my neck.
To think that people complain about a bit of E or Pot. Jesus! you wanna try Vodka and Southern Comfort.

There is nothing like that feeling of sick coming up your throat and down your nose whilst the room spins around and your feeling faint. A cold cold body at the same time as sweat dripping from your forehead. Never ever ever ever again !. Well not this weekend anyway.
I've still yet to find something that properly enhances sex. It's a bit like Chocolate and lettuce.
Everyone loves Chocolate but it makes you fat. Lettuce tastes of nothing but it's great for fatties.
In other words God it a twat and having a laugh at our expense, why isn't it the other way round ?.

Well drugs are a bit like that. The stuff that makes you feel really good usually stops bits working and the stuff that makes things work don't make you feel sexy. I wan't something that gives me a major orgasm, that will make me feel so horny i'll screw anything that moves. And afterwards wears of to nothing and i wake up feeling ok. I'll let you know if i ever come across it but i've had people suggest stuff that i've either avoided because i'm not that into drugs that i wanna start taking stuff i know for a fact is dangerous, or i've tried because i think it's ok and wanna know what all the fuss is about.
Most of the time it's just shite.

I can't tell you how disappointed i was when i tried Viagra. It's going back a bit now but what the fuck is that all about ?. I was expecting to feel sexy and rock hard. It makes you rock hard alright but i just got a red face and a headache. There was no sexy feeling, it just makes you hard that's all. Well i can manage that thanks without your stupid blue pill so all i've done is give myself a headache is it?. And then your told not to touch poppers and don't take this with it or that and fuck me i've just wasted my time.
On the other hand i could fuck for Britain if i wanted too but i had a headache so i didn't.
Rubbish drug for anyone under 40 who can get a stiffy on your own. Avoid.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Healthy eating

I saw a fella fall off his bike this afternoon. He was dressed in that skin tight riding gear with helmet attached, but he was about 50 and had bulges all over the place so it didn't look sexy.

When he got up off the road he looked really pissed off and i can understand why. He had just ran over a crow that was picking at a dead animal squashed in the road. It was like something from a comedy. He obviously thought it would move outta they way as he rode closer to it, but it didn't. He went arse over tit and the bird fluttered off with an injured wing. I wish i'd had a camera. I could have had £250 from Harry Hill outta that.
I actually think that riding gear looks really sexy on the right guy. Especially when theyve been riding in wet weather and the splash from the back tyre splatters up their arse. You just wanna reach out of you car window and give it a wipe for them don't you?.

I'm stopping in tonight. Cash crisis and all that. I can't afford to do anything at the moment, and that includes eating. I did consider going over to my parents but they are going to watch a friend bowling. I can't think of anything more boring.

Every town has lots of supermarkets and i usually stick to the same one every week. But today i was out of the office and got the opportunity to go to Morrisons.
I'm not being nasty but my god this place has some weird shoppers. If i told you that almost every isle had chocolate biscuits and potato crisps in it and there was a huge wall for pizzas and a massive section for alcohol it might help you work out the type of people they are aiming at.
No healthy eating stuff in this place. No wonder the place was full of overweight people. Every special offer i saw was for something that had 1000 calories a gobfull. I saw a guy buy three Pies and four cans of Carlsberg. Dinner do you think ?.

What you been up to then ?

So what the bloody hell have i been up to then ?.
Nowt really. I'm trying to think hard (oo-er madam) whats been happening since i last wrote?. Who have i slept with ?. Did anyone die ?. How many different kinds of drugs have i been taking?.

Well let's start with work and get the boring bit over with first. It's as dead as a Dodo and i'm getting a bit worried to be honest. The phone didn't ring for at least an hour yesterday morning which is really unusual for this place. We've already `let some people go` which is fancy talk for sacking staff and i'm twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy in case i'm next. Hence this blog post. As i type this i look like i'm writing a very important letter so lets get to the nitty gritty next.

I'm still single but i've been a bit of a slapper lately. It's quite good fun at the time but afterwards you feel a bit deflated. I think i just enjoy the chase and flirt and shag. But then the morning after i just wish they would disappear and forget all about it. I think i'm living my sex life like a wank. I like the fantasy of it but the reality is boring.
I've also started avoiding kissing people. I don't know why but i suppose it's my way of saying this is just a shag don't get any ideas.

Daniel comes over to stay every now and then but i think he's getting a bit bored of coming to Halifax. He much prefers us to go to Mancs and i can't blame him. It's a fucking hole this place and once you've been into town once you've seen it all. At least in Manchester you get to see the tourists.
All those sightseers wanting to gawp at all the gay boys on Canal Street and the occasional Closeted married guy on his holidays or working away taking his first steps into the gay world, getting pissed, and going mad.

Daniel has a new mate called Brandon. He is a bit creepy to be honest. Weird long badly dyed hair that looks shit topped off with spotty face.
He has this thing about married men. He will do anything with or for them and tells us stories about who he met the night before.
3 weeks ago he told us of a visit to a man in his 40s who's wife was a way with the girls for a weekend in London. He stayed the night with this fella getting rogered senseless whilst his 2 year old was in the next room asleep.
I'm not a prude but i don't approve of this sort of thing. Both of them were bastards but he doesn't care.
I may blog a bit more this week as i have the time so i'll save the rest of my update till tomorrow.