Thursday, 30 April 2009


I Bought some new undies today, but when i got home and tried them on they seemed too baggy. They were supposed to be tight and clingy, holding everything in, but i looked like i was wearing my dads old Y fronts.
They don't let you try them on in the shop for obvious reasons, but i suspect that it's also because no matter how you stand, you never look anything like the picture on the front.

Money, that's what i want

What do you blog about when nothing happens ?.
I just had another boring day at work and then spent most of tonight watching TV.
That's what life is like most of the time, although looking back through the past few entries here i seem to be at the pub or partying most of the time.

In fact i have just used the last of my lotto winnings. £97.00 shared with Daniel and all of it spent totally on fun times rather than being sensible and paying bills off first.

Like coming down of a drug i now have that empty feeling. At least my wallet has that empty feeling anyway.
Money isn't everything they say, but i bet the people saying it either don't need it or have got what they want.
My father thinks we should be happy with what we already have but if we all thought like that most of us would still be living in wooden huts.
Trying for more is what makes us human, and i want more.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Learning to drive

Daniel is having driving lessons and we waited for him to come back from his drive tonight.

He mounted the curb and stalled the car as he turned to come up the drive.
I was pissing myself laughing when he got in but he wasn't amused.
I'll be glad for him when he does pass mind you, it'll save me being taxi driver everywhere and i can drink for a change.

I wondered what it would be like to be a driving instructor ? taking people i fancy for a drive up lonely streets and across the moors.

I'll store that thought for later i think.

Mush Face

Sick Text Joke

Sent to my phone today from a friend

'I think i might have this pig flu. I've come out in a rash.'

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Birthday boy

Steve's Birthday today so we all met for a drink to celebrate.

The atmosphere was colder than cold, this fall out is getting serious. We all apparently fell out after a party a few weeks back. I was slightly the worse for wear on drink and wasn't really involved in any of it. In fact i don't think much happened, it was more of a sulky strop than a row.

All i know is that they ain't talking to us anymore and we were in two minds as to whether we should bother turning up tonight.

Daniel is a wimp when it comes to things like this, all he wants to do is keep the peace, so most of the night we were kept to the other side of the room.
We managed a 'Happy Birthday, hope you had a great day'. Handed him his card and then were shoved away to a corner in case we said something we shouldn't do.

It wasn't as if it was a good night, if we hadn't turned up the place would have been empty.
Still, we did come away with a pocket full of cake and Steve's dad slipped on some piss in the toilets so laughs all round in the end.

Monday, 27 April 2009

Late for work

My bloody car broke down this morning and made me late for work. I'm sure they thought i had just slept in.
I might as well have just rung in sick the amount of hassle i had all day about it.
But when i was off sick last time i didn't get paid so i decided against it.
There are three waiting days before i get any pay when i am ill, this is supposed to discourage people from ringing in sick for no reason, and in this instance it worked.
But there is no incentive to force yourself into the office where i work. If i come in feeling ill there is no sympathy. You are expected to do the same work at the same speed and no-one will so much as ask how you are doing or show some gratitude that you have dragged your backside out of bed, even though you might feel like you are dying.

One of the women who i work alongside in our office is in her late 50s, possibly early 60s, i don't know.

But she is a bit frumpy and wears the smelliest, flowery, floral perfume i have ever had the misfortune to breathe in.
She stinks. And I'm convinced that some days she doesn't have a shower in the morning, preferring to put another layer of perfume on instead.
Imagine having to put up with that when you feel ill or after a heavy weekend ?.

I may need the money but in future any slight opportunity to skip off for the day and I'm there.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Guilty feeling

Went to the club last night and spent most of the night hanging off the shoulder of some stranger that was a mate of Roberts.
There was a bit of a fight in one corner with two camp queens until one ran off in tears.
Camp Queers fighting are always entertaining, it's Lesbians that scare the pants off me, when they start you run for cover.

Afterwards we went for a Curry and then back to Robs mates house, more drink, loud music and then sex on a pile of old coats in Robs back bedroom.
It was great fun and i enjoyed every minute of it, but the next day always leaves me feeling shallow.
I'm not really ready for a relationship, i'm happy being single right now, but everyone around me and all morals seem to be in conflict with what i want.
Imagine being told you can't masturbate. You enjoy it, you may want to do lots of it, but the fun police say you shouldn't and all society says you should feel guilty for even wanting to in the first place.

Mmm, not sure how i feel about it all. perhaps i'll try it a bit more first and see how it goes.

Saturday, 25 April 2009


I write that i had a night out in Leeds last night, but in actual fact we didn't really see much of Leeds we just seemed to walk up and down one street, moving from pub to pub.

It must be 12 months since i last visited this place, i was just following the girls, Simon's sister Jessica and her friend Karen.
I went to school with Jessica but didn't know Karen.
She is man mad and ended up dragging us both from one place to another following a guy she fancied.
He seemed quite nice but not worth trailing all over the place for.
At one point i had the dreaded, 'will you ask him for me', conversation.
This is something i am asked to do often when out with women and i hate it.
In fact i refused, going up to a guy and saying 'my mate fancies you' is something that you do when you are 12 not 24.

In the past i have even been asked to say it to guys i have fancied myself, and on one occasion in the village in Manchester i was asked if i could check that someone was really gay because the girl we were with was gonna try it on with him if he wasn't.
It can be great fun being out with women, but sometimes you feel like you are the token Patsy.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Camp call

I met my mate Simon in the arcade at lunch time today and went for a Coffee.
I'm going to Leeds later on tonight with his sister and her friend.

He reminded me that Steve's birthday is next Tuesday and although there is no party, we are all gonna meet at Sammie's and go for a few drinks to celebrate.

Sammie's mom and dad don't like his friends calling to see him, they are very anti gay and don't like camp queens turning up at the door so me and Daniel are always pushed to the front when it comes to knocking.
We are none camp and can get away with seeming straight, but Simon sounds like a woman and has a bad habit of wearing cloths that make him look like a peacock, he can't help it, it's just the way he is.

As we sat in the cafe i noticed he had been plucking his eye brows again.
he looked a pillock.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Pornstar in the making

I have been given the opportunity to earn £200 for two hours work.
Unfortunately this involves taking off all my cloths and performing on camera with an old guy whilst his husband films it all. When i say old, he looked early 40`s.

LOL, Some of the messages i get when i log on to Gaydar are unbelievable
Thank god he didn't contact me after a bad day at work. I might have taken him up on the offer.

In fact Gaydar is just a flirt for me, i don't take up many offers, they have to be exceptional or i have to be in a really horny mood.
If i wanna meet i prefer in person. Photographs and profiles lie.

In the past three visits to this site i have been invited to London for a week, asked if i am rent, offered to be taken on holiday to Italy, would i be interested in joining a gang bang that is taking part in Stockport on Friday night ? and would i send my dirty socks and underwear to someone who will pay good money in return ?.

The answer is no, no, no, no and YUK!.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Ians Gaff

I went to visit Ian tonight.

Ian lives in some flats in a dodgy area of Manchester. He looks a bit rough and the type of guy you best avoid in the street, but i have known him since School and i get on great with him.
When i was 13 he kicked the shit out of someone who was bullying me and has been a mate ever since.

Unfortunately he's turned into a bit of a druggy. He once had a really bad time on some Magic Mushrooms and acts a bit dippy nowadays. One minute he talks normal, then next he speaks a bit like a child.
His flat is a tip but he always seems up and happy, and it's usually party central when you visit.

I don't like to call round when others are there because even though he is OK, i'm not impressed with some of his other friends.
One girlfriend he had, used to stink to high hell and always seemed aggressive. She got locked up for battering a copper in town and i haven't seen her since.
I'm not painting a very good picture of Ian am i ?

Anyway, i called round and watched some TV, he copied some DVDs for me and then brought out the biscuits.
I don't smoke so Ian makes biscuits for his friends. ;-). If you don't know what that means i'm not going into any more detail unless i take my profile off here(note to self, consider that for future reference)

He asked me about my sexuality at one point and said that although he isn't gay himself he can understand why men get off on it because he once went out with a girl who used to stick her finger up his bum at the point of orgasm and he liked it.
I laughed, but pointed out that it wasn't really the same, there is more to being gay than having something stuck up your backside.
I stayed a couple of hours and then came home, i had to otherwise i would have ended up asleep on the sofa all night.

But as i write this i feel all happy again, i have stacks more music from Ians DVDs of MP3s and i'm all relaxed and flowery again.
The world is a happy place.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


I Stayed in tonight and watched telly.
Nothing interested me, it's just wall to wall soaps and all of it is crap.
So i thought i would listen to some music, the same applied, nothing interested me, i wasn't in the mood.
I couldn't even be bothered to have a wank.
I'm feeling really fed up tonight and i can't understand why.

I suppose i always get this feeling at the beginning of the week, the weekend seems so far away and i see Monday to Friday as a mountain i have to climb before i reach the fun part again.
I am already planning my Friday and Saturday night out and i still haven't quite recovered from the last one.

What i need is some excitement during the week to tie me over.
Tomorrow I'm gonna go to Ians.
Ian is an interesting fella, he does interesting things, not all of it legal, but at least he has fun.

Monday, 20 April 2009


I hate work. i fucking hate it. Why do i have to work where i work ?. Why can't i leave ?.

I work in an office with some boring arseholes who read the Daily Mail and do the master quiz every dinner time.
Who gives a shit who the home secretary's wife was in 1975 and if you know the answer you need to get a life.
My boss can't understand why I'm not as enthusiastic at my job as he is and reminds me constantly how hard he works and the hours he puts in.
If i was on his money and had more control of my working day i might show more interest, but being a dogsbody on the national minimum wage is hardly inspiration is it?.
He goes on about the credit crunch and how we should be grateful to have a job because he isn't making any money.
But like the little boy who cried wolf he had being spouting this story since long before the credit crunch and he just bought a new car last week.
God i hate my job. it's like being smothered for 8 hours a day.
Quick post a picture and cheer yourself up.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Sunny Sunday

I have Been sitting all afternoon in Daniels moms back garden recovering from last night.
It's been a nice sunny day so time to top up on the tan.
Daniels mom came out for a bit and almost had her tits out in a low cut top as she also tries to get some sort of suntan.
She obviously does it more often than us and for more years as well, that's why she has that leather tits look. Brown and leathery skin with creases down her cleavage.
Add to that a Cigarette sticking out of her mouth and Bingo Wings and i think you get a good impression of what she looks like.
But she is a laugh and as i lay on the grass pretending to sleep i spent most of the afternoon listening and laughing at the conversations she had with Daniels Dad.
I wish i had recorded it, it was like something from a sitcom.
I miss family situations and family life, it's nice to live a little bit of it again, even if it wasn't mine.

Party over

What a fucking disaster !
Got there early and arrived to the sound of Put a donk on it LOL, Daniel loves it, i hate it. But the guy in charge of the tunes must have played it at least 20 times during the course of the night.

Then, just to ruin the mood before we even got started Michael arrived with a boyfriend. Worse still this fucking boyfriend was old enough to be his dad. Even WORSE than that his dadfriend took a fancy to me and i spent most of the night trying to avoid him.

If there is one thing i hate it's a man calling me cute and a sweetie.
The only saving grace was that Michael got absolutely arseold and i managed to get a snog out of him around midnight.
But an hour later when he showed more interest i was put off by the taste of sick on his lips.
Besides i couldn't help thinking of other things he might have had in his mouth when his boyfriend reappeared.
I have nothing against older men, i just didn't like this one. I don't know why, is it jealousy or what ?
He just seemed a bit creepy that's all. Then again, when i think about it, i was absolutely arseold as well by 1am and if i didn't like him when i was drunk he must really have been a dog.
Anyway, i do know i don't feel the same about Michael this morning as i did last night.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Party Time

Tonight is the night.
Bath, clean undies, dress to thrill.
Michael you belong to me tonight.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Making Plans for Michael

I have been invited to a house party this weekend that promises to be a riot.
I know that there will be one person there that i have been gagging to shag for months. His name is Michael and is Beautiful. I have know him since School and we get on great.
The problem is he doesn't seem interested.
As i type this i am trying to think of a plan on how i can get him drunk and make my move.
Alcohol is a wonderful thing.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Porn Pal

Daniel came round tonight to watch some mucky DVDs.
I'm not really into watching porn with someone i am not having sex with, it doesn't feel right, i can't watch it the same.
I either want to knock one off but can't with him sitting there, or I'm put off my coffee and hob nobs by the sound of someone having loud sex on a big screen in front of me.

It's the same when i am at the gym, getting undressed with close friends, or worse still family, is not a turn on. But a stranger slipping off his kegs in front of you is always interesting.

I turn from a prude into a pervert in seconds.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Went for a drink tonight and met an old school friend.
In the few years since i last saw him he has lost most of his hair and got fat.
Now i know why he wasn't at the school Reunion.

I won't name him here in case he ever reads it, but in the few years since i saw him last he has changed beyond belief and he says that i have as well.

He seems more timid and less confident, i am supposed to be a bit more confident and less timid.
It's like we swapped personalities and i got the better deal.
We made arrangements to meet again but as he left i got the feeling it wasn't gonna happen, neither of us committed to a time or date which normally means, goodbye mate, have a happy life, see you when i see you.

We all change as we get older, even families. When i was a child the main phrase i heard my parents say to me was 'Get Down' when i reached my teens it was 'Get up' and when i told them i was gay it was 'Get Out'.
I changed as a person after the latter of the three.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

A good read

I went to the library today, i wouldn't normally but Daniel wanted to try out their Wifi on his mobile.
Whilst he buggered about trying to get a signal i flicked through some books.
'Today is the first day of the rest of your life', it said on the first page i opened.
What a load of bullshit some people come out with. The next line said. 'you might also be seconds away from Death'.
What a cheery book that would be to read. So i put it back on the shelf and looked for one with more pictures in it instead.
I couldn't find one book with a single picture of a naked person in it.
Books vs the Internet.
No contest.
The Internet wins hands down.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Highway to hell

I was supposed to be going to Blackpool this weekend, but it all fell through, we had a fall out with Steve and Ryan so they went in Ryan's car without us.
As we didn't want to go to the same place as them and bump into each other on the sea front Daniel though we should just go for a drive, which we did, totally unplanned. Just get in the car, set out on the open road, drive in whatever direction we wanted and end up in Barnsley!.

Don't ask me why, it wasn't intended, we just wanted a day out and drove where the car took us.
Of all the places i can think of going to Barnsley isn't one of them. So we then set off up the Motorway towards Leeds in hope of finding something to do or see. It was like a really expensive version of Google Street maps. Just views of building and roads from the comfort of my car that was drinking petrol like there was no tomorrow.
We then drove along the M62 over the tops and back home again.
What an exciting life we lead, and a great day out. Two queers in a clapped out banger looking for some excitement on a bank holiday Monday and doing nothing other than drive around in circles.

All the things we could have done.
Can you tell how this Diary is gonna pan out ?

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Start all over again

Right. i am gonna start this again. no porn, no pictures, just diary and mouthing off.

So where to start.
How about the beginning and today.
It's Easter bank holiday weekend and i am as bored as hell, maybe that is why i am resurrecting this blog, so don't be surprised if it suddenly folds again like it has done twice before when life returns to normality and i am back to the everyday grind of a normal working week.

I know that's not a good sign for anyone who might just be passing by now and wondering whether they want to follow this blog, it's hardly a good commercial for you to continue reading and coming back for more is it now ?, but who cares ?.
So a little about me.
I am Gay, let's get that straight from the start, if you don't like it move on. Don't waste your time messaging me with insults i have heard them all before and i don't give a shit.
I was dragged out of the closet a few years ago kicking and screaming after being outed by a so called friend.
My family took it as bad as i thought they would and for a short time i left home and had very little contact with them because of it.
It also resulted in a complete clear out of old friends as well, some stayed, and i replaced others with new ones.
Things have settled down now and they seem to tolerate me as long as i am not in your face about it all, it's a sort of truce rather than an acceptance.
My life from now on will appear in a sort of Diary format. I have always wanted to write diaries. I'm just shit at them that's all.
Like most people i live a boring life so don't expect to see hard core sex orgies or group gang bangs (although i have had my moments in the past ;-))
Let's see how long it takes before the novelty wears off again shall we ?
Post No 1 completed
Come back tomorrow for more boring shite, just like all the other blogs on blogger