Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Had a good night out Saturday. But it was packed everywhere. This means hours waiting to be served at the bar. Trying to catch a barman's eye whilst making sure no-one else pushes in is a bit of an art. It's like trying to get a stripper to whip his bollocks out. everyone seems to be waving ten pound notes in a come hither style. On the plus side you do get to rub your groin against the backside of anyone in front you may fancy, But the novelty wears off after a bit because they are so engrossed in catching some services as well that you're not even on the radar. I was behind a guy who had he tightest trousers i've ever seen. Not only did they cling to his butt cheeks, they seemed to disappear into his crack as well. He must have been wearing them since he was 10 years old and just grew into em, Because there is no way they were his size.
Daniel brought this guy home with him who looked really tidy. Then he took his shoes off and it sort killed the whole atmosphere. In fact i think it killed off some of the plants in the room as well. Bloody hell he needed more than oder eaters. He needed dipping in bleach and scrubbing with a wire brush. The look on Daniels face was a picture. I just sniggered and said goodnight. I left them to it. Whatever 'it' should be.
At lunch time today i saw a guy who only had one eye. As i looked at him he looked back at me so i thought it best to acknowledge him with a friendly "Hi!". Unfortunately it didn't come out like that and i just seemed to say "Eye!"
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Had to buy a Carbon Monoxide detector tonight. I've had a few people suggest that my Gas fire isn't burning correctly. The flame is a sort of Orange colour when it's supposed to be Blue apparently. But i've read up on it and there is no blackening of the elements or surrounds so i'm not sure there is anything wrong. I got the the vac out and gave everything a good clean and dust, Made sure the flu was clear and had a good ventilation and even lit some paper to make sure smoke goes up the chimney properly. But just to be certain i bought a detector.
As soon as i put the batteries in the bloody thing went off, i nearly shit myself running to open all the windows and doors to let out any invisible toxic fumes. It was like the fire alarm incident all over again. But it suddenly went off again and a green light came on. I hadn't read the instructions. It's supposed to do that when it sets itself up the first time you use it.
(Note to self. Read instructions first before turning new things on.)
Anyways, it's flashing green for ok now and everything seems to be ok. But i'm gonna have to get an expert out to look at it i think.
One of my bosses at work (A female) threw a real paddy this morning. I'm convinced she's mentally unstable. She's overly nice one minute but overly nasty the next. I've not been on the receiving end of the nasty side yet but i've had to witness it before.
Today though, she really did throw a proper childing tantrum, Stamping her feet, screaming at the top of her voice, banging her hands on the desk and swearing at her partner (my other boss) For what i could see was no reason whatsoever.
When she is in this mood she's like some paranoid schizo. Any sort of normal question you ask her is over analysed and translated into something critical. So a simple phrase like 'would you like me to file these invoices for you?' can be translated as a criticism of her ability to file things herself and a suggestion that she is so crap at it that you want to take things out of her hands and run the whole office instead of her because she is a useless piece of shit and you want her to die.
However, if you decide not to help and leave filing to her, this can be translated as - do it your fucking self you lazy bitch because i'm not helping you, all this work is for you to do not me. You can't win. And as much as that last bit might sound extreme, she really does think like that.
One day a collegue helping her with some figures she was trying to work out asked if she had a pen. But the way he said it must have been translated in her head as -Why haven't you got a pen?. So she replied with a scream "yes!!, i've got a fucking pen!, Do you think i'm a fucking idiot or something?.
When he replied he was only asking if she had one, She threw the pen at him and stormed off shouting 'here... have the fucking pen if you want it, i'll get my own bloody pen!!!'. She then kicked a box across the room, slammed the photocopier top loader down and pushed the door open with such a force on her way out it left a hole in the wall where the handle caught it.
We were left looking at each other wondering what the hell that was all about. 10 Minutes later she was laughing and joking as if nothing had happened and turned back into a nice fun person who you can really get along with. It's weird.
Dr Jeckle and Mrs Hyde all rolled into one.
Her partner is a lovely bloke but she's the one in charge not him and you can tell he lives in terror of her, He tends to disappear when she's throwing a wobbler. Like a coward running away from a fight.
It's entertaining i suppose. But it's pathetic and embarrassing at the same time.
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
As i type this I'm half watching something on TV about electronic books. Someone once lent me one of those Kindle readers for a couple of days. I think they were bored with it because i was told i didn't need to rush to return it. I can understand why.
What a horrible little plastic thing it is. I'm gonna sound like my dad here, but i like the feel and smell of a proper book. Especially a new one. I like to see how many pages I've got through and feel the satisfaction of seeing one side fill up whilst the other goes down. The weight of the thing, the texture, the sound it makes when you turn the page. The colours of the pictures. In fact everything about a book that makes it a book.
Reading a kindle was like surfing the net. I got bored after a bit. It's OK in small doses, But not for me.
Is this what happens to people as they get older ? I'll be complaining about saving my stuff on a hard drive rather than the cloud next. Bring back MP3 players that's what i say. These young 'uns don't know what they're missing.
Bit of a busy week this week. I'm trying to put up my tree, visit half a dozen relatives to give out birthday cards (why are so many people i know born in December?) and arrange a party for this weekend ;-)))
Friday, 9 December 2011
People bring their own booze, we just provide the location and the nibbles.
If we pick the right people it could be a good laugh.
Then he spoilt the whole thing by suggesting we could make it an underwear party or single men only. I think he's pushing it towards some sort of orgy. But not at my bloody house !!.
I'm not having strangers wandering round my home, splashing fluids all over my bed sheets.
Now if it were someone elses place.....;-)
Anyways, i'm off to my mums again, so i'll be back on Sunday. Have a good weekend everybody, i'll leave you with something to look at.
|Something for the weekend|
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
My weekday evenings are getting boring. I sat watching telly all night last night.
I had recorded something on the history of light entertainment from earlier in the week. A famous Television Producer called Michael Hurl came on talking about Cilla Black. I'm fully aware that famous people have no idea how the rest of us live but when he said (and i quote, word for word here) "She worked like mad, she rehearsed from 9 in the morning until 5 at night, FIVE DAYS A WEEK!" I nearly put my foot through the screen. Imagine that eh? 9 till 5, FIVE DAYS A WEEK!!. WOW, Now that's what i call dedication.
Then i watched something on the Banking Crisis and nearly put my foot through the telly again. RBS Chairman Fred 'the shred' Goodwin and his smarmy mush with that £300,000 a year pension paid for by the tax payer after he walked away from the bank he just banked.
So how about some light viewing instead ?. Get the porn out. That's better and little less annoying. ;-)
Except the bloody DVD player packed in half way through and i had to go on the Internet instead.
Frustration is not the word.
I had a leaflet pushed through my door earlier today for the local adult learning centre. It listed enrolment information for courses running through spring/summer 2012.
amongst those that caught my eye and made me laugh were,
Art for the terrified (£56),
Funky fabric jewellery(£22.40),
Beauty on a budget (£58.50),
Design and make a silk scarf (£21.00)
& Blogging for beginners (no fee) LOL.
Blogging is obviously not worth paying to learn. Ha!