Friday, 22 January 2010

Don't try this at home

Rob, one of the guys who sit across from me at work has a weird way of talking. If he wants to know whether we need any more milk from the shop he will ask, “How is the milk situation?” and whenever there is a call for me he will say “heading your way” when he puts it through.
This morning he was given a replacement folder for some documents but the holes were punched in the wrong place so some of the pages stuck out of the top making it look a bit untidy.
His translation of this event was
“It’s just a cock hair out, but I’ll suck it and see”

Daniel has suggested we use skype to keep in touch(again). I’ve never bothered with it before but I’m gonna give it a go this time.
Other stuff on the net that seem popular but I can’t be bothered with anymore.
Facebook, twitter, bebo, and E-Bay. So why do I still blog?
Whilst we are on the subject, DVDs are getting on my tits as well. Why can’t you just fast-forward to the start of the film? I don’t wanna be forced into watching a 15 second indent of 20th century Fox.

I have seen a guy in a shop that I quite like. So now all I need to do is find out more about him. Is he or isn’t he? Just because he was nice and friendly means nothing. He’s pretty and dresses well, that means nothing either.
Perhaps the forward approach “are you a poof?” No that doesn’t always go down well does it? “Fancy going out sometime?” no that’s not right either.
I need to be discreet and do some investigating first. So I’m stalking him. I wander around pretending I’m shopping whilst listening to the conversation he’s having with his work colleagues or customers. All I need is one little sign that he’s got a girlfriend and I’m outta there.

I saw something on the news last night about 'the choking game' I once saw this take place at a party but i thought they were just pissing about and never believed it to be true How can you get a high from lack of oxygen ?. If you've never heard of it, these vids will fill you in. Very silly, very dangerous.
And the laughing in the background makes it seem even worse. Don't try this at home. Idiots !


Anonymous said...

Ive heard of the choking thing...I know a guy who likes to have his air intake slowed down while he orgasims, says it makes it stronger and more intense, Im way to chicken to try it;)


drucloud said...

its becoming popular with famous celebs Michelle hutchins singer with INXCS Australian band he died doing same thing i think also a radio 1 dj from few years back and kung fu fella. having crap time with internet BT box

am so off to pc world in the morning going for netgear BT can kiss my arse DRU

Michael Mattison said...

Hey, just wanted to say I like your style of writing, and your choice of subjects. As they say, reality is better than fiction, right? Like your selection of thoughts and musings from everyday life. Very real.
Have a good weekend.

Octavius said...

It's not "Stalking" mate..., it's "Proactive Investigation"... ha ha ha ha

I agree on the whole choking thing..., very dumb.


MadeInScotland said...

That's how poppers work!

Just google sexual asphyxiation, or auto-erotic asphyxiation.

We even studied it in class.


B. said...

OMG, I was doing that first clip of choking game and yeah, you really fell unconscious because you break the supply of air to your brain for some short time and it's really sick. We've done this when we were kids and my friend fell down and was shaking and was really sick and we really was afraid, but he come around soon...

Fuck, we were really crazy kids (shit I just remembered this, I totally forgot that we could kill ourselves :P), later we realised that it can damage your brain... so DON'T TRY THAT AT HOME...!!!!