Saturday, 29 January 2011

Fag Hag

12.12am on a Friday night/Saturday morning and i'm back home after a night out.

I'm never home that early, i'm usually just starting to get going, but for some reason i wasn't in the mood and someone in a pub was getting on my tits so i had a choice. Leave, or punch him.
I left Daniel alone because there was a group of us and it seemed selfish to ruin his night as well.
It had nothing to do with my dad. I just wasn't in the mood. Same old faces. Same old places. It wasn't exciting enough for me, i was bored.
It's funny how some weeks you can do exactly the same thing, go to the same places with the same people, but have a ball.
It's a bit like weekends. One week it will drag and i'm half looking forward to getting back to work on Monday morning. The next weekend there doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day and before i know it it's all over before it seemed to begin.

Jason (one of our mates) is heterosexual and never comes with us on a night out in Mancs. He is an alpha male who walks away when we mention anything to do with gay sex. Which of course makes us talk about it all the time just for the amusement of seeing him squirm.
His parents split up when he was at school and his Mum (who he still lives with) is the sort who still acts like a teenager. Dresses like one and seems to have a different boyfriend every other week.
She is actually quite good looking i suppose for her age and is great fun whenever i have met her. A sort of MILF. But as i'm gay that doesn't really apply does it.

Jas told us that he came home from a night out the other week and caught her and her latest boyfriend laughing and joking in the front room.
This has prompted him to make a move and find somewhere of his own at the tender age of 25. He can't afford too and has no idea what he's letting himself in for because he's been a mummy's boy all his life and doesn't even know how to wash his own cloths let alone pay bills.
As we were talking his mother turned up. She's about 50ish and her boyfriend is about.....25!!!. When he opened his mouth and started talking he was as camp as tits. I'm not convinced he is straight. He's not my kind of gay guy but if he's not gay i'll fuck a woman.
I suspect his mum is a fag hag.

7 comments:

drew said...

It's funny when you want to go out and tear it up it doesn't work. I've had my best nights when there were no expectations.. It just works out that way. Have a good rest of the weekend!!!

naturgesetz said...

How long does it take you to get from Halifax to Mancs? Or from Mancs to Halifax? I ask because you're popping over even more frequently than I had imagined you would, so I'm beginning to think it's an easy commute.

And when you've had a night out, do you usually drive back to Halifax in your condition (such as it may be) or do you sleep it off before you go over the hills? It's none of my business, of course, and feel free to tell me that or just ignore the question. I was just wondering. Well, no. Actually, as your internet dad, I got a bit worried thinking about you getting into a car and driving across the hills and the moors after you've had a few. But you've done fine so far it seems, so I guess I shouldn't be too concerned.

naturgesetz said...

Just had to post another comment because the word verification that popped up, believe it or not, is "creed."
I just couldn't resist the chance to mention it. It's always worth thinking about.

Mambam said...

Drew
I am resting this weekend, honest.

Naturgestz

The problem with travel in this country is not distance it's traffic. We are very densley populated. Manchester city center is 45 minutes away if all the traffic would fuck off out of my way. If its rush hour (or daytime) i might as well be trying to get to the moon and back and it can take longer than it would to drive to the coast. I can get to Blackpool from my house in just over an hour and it's miles further than Manchester.

I only drive over that way off peak (at night) If i go to mancs on a night out i drive to my parents, leave the car there and either stay at their house for the night or someone elses. I know lots of people who put me up (Daniel for one), I come home the next day when i have slept and am sober (just). Sometimes i catch the train. But that's not often.

By the way. I was in Halifax last night. That is 10 minutes in a taxi from my front door. And taxis are everywhere.

I never drink and drive. There would be no point because when i drink it's not just he one ;-)

Is that a good enough explaination for you dad ? You're not gonna confiscate my car keys are you?

naturgesetz said...

A very fine explanation indeed. Hang on to the keys.

drew said...

When I was reading about your traffic issues I decided to see how large the UK is. Its hard to believe the UK is the size of the state of Oregon in the US. England is the size of South Carolina. Oregon has 3.5 million people and South Carolina probably has 7 million. The population of the UK is 52 million!! No wonder you have traffic jams.. I just didn't realize the density of your population.. Sorry, I had a brainiac moment!!

Jason Shaw said...

Sorry the night wasn't a great as it could have been, its a right kick in the rubber parts when then happens.

Sometimes the best nights are the unplanned ones and the worst are the well planned ones! You ever notice that?

Fag Hag Mother dating a gay - you should write the storylines for Eastbenders! It's not uncommon! Have a good week. xx