Monday, 28 November 2011

Friends & Family

Had a bit of a different weekend.
I Traveled to Northampton to a surprise Birthday Party for a relative who is 65 today. He had no idea we were coming and it had all been arranged like some sort of military operation with precision choreography to boot.
It was at an Aunties home (rich side of the family, it was a bloody huge house)

We arrived at the right time to surprise him and what i thought was gonna be a laugh turned into everyone being in tears. He started it by blubbing with the shock of us coming so far to see him, which made my mother and Auntie joined in. Before long there was hardly a dry eye in the house.

It was actually a bit of a magic moment but i was glad when all of the hellos were over and done with, so we could crack open the booze and settle down to a good laugh. I then spent most of the night trying to avoid any conversation that referred to my dad. I couldn't do it. I don't want to wipe him from history but it's too soon for me. My way of dealing with it is to avoid it at any cost. A party didn't seem like the right place to be getting all droll. My Mum was talking about him constantly so i even avoided her most of the night as well.
Dad wouldn't have liked it either, it's what he would have done. I'm probably more like him that i like to think

I didn't really know most of the people that were there. They may have been family but they moved away years ago and i've never spoken to most of them since i was a kid.
One cousin who is now 15 or 16 was practically a baby when i saw him last. He's grown to be a really good looking lad, but was probably the shyest person i have ever met. He could hardly look at people in the face as they spoke to him and was nervous as hell. I chatted to him for a while but it was all very awkward and one sided.  He kept disappearing off to his bedroom to get away from the festivities. You could tell he was hating every minute of it and just wanted us all to fuck off home. LOL.

My auntie got absolutely smashed out of here head, which brings out the Lancashire in her. She starts losing her southern accent and acts as common as muck. Very funny to see.
By midnight we had all had enough . 5pm to midnight is enough for a party for oldies so we rang for a taxi. I wasn't drunk really, I knew i needed to be careful as i was driving us back home again the next morning. We stayed in a local Travelodge that my mum kept referring to as "the hotel". I slept in a big double bed....alone.

All in all i enjoyed it, but hated all the tears. It happened again when we were leaving to come home this morning.
We called for a coffee before leaving which gave us the opportunity to have a proper look around the garden now that it was light enough to see and we had another guided tour of the rest of the house that we hadn't seen the night before.

At one point we were all standing in the bathroom discussing her new toilet and how she had this one fitted because the one that was there before seemed to be a bit too low, which was bad for her back.
It was at this point i realised i should probably bring up the subject of going home 'before the traffic gets bad'.
Women can talk forever about any old bollocks. The colour of the wallpaper the view from the window, the shade of wood that the bathroom cabinet is made out of. Bloody hell i was getting bored.
We did all the hugging and kissing you do when leaving people you love and then just before we drove off we all agreed we should do this sort of thing more often.

As we drove away i knew that we probably wouldn't. You never do, do you ?.


naturgesetz said...

A number of years ago (15 or more) there was a family gathering, and there was a teen-aged boy there with his parents. He seemed pretty shy, and I was hoping to be able to talk to him. The thought crossed my mind that if he were gay and would open up to me, I could reassure him that it was okay and that he could deal with it as a good Catholic.

When gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts I learned from his mother that he is gay and for years he had carried around the feeling of being unacceptable and rejected. I wish I had been able to tell him he wasn't rejected.

Maybe your cousin is shy for the same reason, maybe not.

drew said...

I think what made it special is because it doesn't happen often. Sometimes when you see too much of family the divisions surface especially with some liquid courage (liquor). I know your mom appreciated the visit and that is what is really important...