I don't feel too bad today.
I woke up really early though, which is unusual for me. Then i went over to where i will be working from next week. It took me a bloody hour to get there by the way, which is a little scary when you think it wasn't rush hour.
Anyway i didn't do any work but i had a coffee with the boss and he showed me round.
I just sort of nodded at people and said hello to most of them, I was only there for about an hour, i'll learn more next week.
I met one guy called David from the warehouse. He was a bit weird, i'm not sure he was all there. The lights were on but no one was home if you get my meaning.
He told me about a health insurance policy he had just taken out (as if i'm interested) and said, without any sense of irony or humour "even if i fell into a mincing machine i would be ok, i'm completely covered", that's nice to know i suppose when they bury you as a sausage.
Talking of sausages, i remembered a bit more about the other night with that Steve bloke. I promise i am not making this up, but he had a sausage that he called Derek ! Let me repeat that last sentence for you just in case you think you misread it. He had a SAUSAGE that he called Derek. It was on a fence outside his house. He had cooked it during a barbecue and no one ate it, so he stuck it in a condom, drew a face on it in felt tip and pricked it on a nail by the door.
Whenever he left the house or came home again he always said hello to Derek and insisted that anyone visiting do the same.
Derek was now looking more like a condom full of shit to be honest but he still waved at Derek and told me to wave as well. The man is a nutter, but very funny.
Saying that i think he might be a bit of a thug, there was a mobile Phone sticking out of the wall in his bedroom, he threw it in a rage one day and it stuck in the plasterboard. It's been there ever since.
He uses the "C" word constantly. C**t is the new fuck i think. But it's not said for effect. It's as if it's just a normal word for him. When there is just you and him it seems to go over your head and doesn't really register, but when there is someone else around it stands out like a sore thumb and you wanna tell him to lower his voice a bit. He speaks really loudly and can talk across people winning any battle for attention in a conversation.
In the bedroom hes like an animal, he doesn't do any of the kissy kissy stuff, it's just gratuity and if i'm honest a bit sinister at times. The expression on his face isn't that of someone making love, it's more like a murderer in the middle of a kill. But the big turn on for me (and this is a confession) was the fact that he was very verbal. No silence and what you into crap. He knew what he wanted and whilst he was doing it was telling you what he would also like to do to you if he manages to get round to it. There was a few of those things that i insisted he didn't even think about doing, but he just laughed and said he was playing.
Drugs are involved and that obviously has something to do with it. He is Bisexual so i don't really know what the score is with him or if i'll ever see him again. When he left he told me he might come over to see me sometime with his "bird".
I know i should really see this as a one off and move on, but if i'm honest he is quite interesting and exciting. It's purely sexual and nothing to do with relationships etc. But i'm still thinking about him even now.
If i rang him up for all i know he might just tell me to piss off.
Anyways it's Friday so i'm out tonight with Daniel and Howard. Time to get wrecked again ;-)
I woke up really early though, which is unusual for me. Then i went over to where i will be working from next week. It took me a bloody hour to get there by the way, which is a little scary when you think it wasn't rush hour.
Anyway i didn't do any work but i had a coffee with the boss and he showed me round.
I just sort of nodded at people and said hello to most of them, I was only there for about an hour, i'll learn more next week.
I met one guy called David from the warehouse. He was a bit weird, i'm not sure he was all there. The lights were on but no one was home if you get my meaning.
He told me about a health insurance policy he had just taken out (as if i'm interested) and said, without any sense of irony or humour "even if i fell into a mincing machine i would be ok, i'm completely covered", that's nice to know i suppose when they bury you as a sausage.
Talking of sausages, i remembered a bit more about the other night with that Steve bloke. I promise i am not making this up, but he had a sausage that he called Derek ! Let me repeat that last sentence for you just in case you think you misread it. He had a SAUSAGE that he called Derek. It was on a fence outside his house. He had cooked it during a barbecue and no one ate it, so he stuck it in a condom, drew a face on it in felt tip and pricked it on a nail by the door.
Whenever he left the house or came home again he always said hello to Derek and insisted that anyone visiting do the same.
Derek was now looking more like a condom full of shit to be honest but he still waved at Derek and told me to wave as well. The man is a nutter, but very funny.
Saying that i think he might be a bit of a thug, there was a mobile Phone sticking out of the wall in his bedroom, he threw it in a rage one day and it stuck in the plasterboard. It's been there ever since.
He uses the "C" word constantly. C**t is the new fuck i think. But it's not said for effect. It's as if it's just a normal word for him. When there is just you and him it seems to go over your head and doesn't really register, but when there is someone else around it stands out like a sore thumb and you wanna tell him to lower his voice a bit. He speaks really loudly and can talk across people winning any battle for attention in a conversation.
In the bedroom hes like an animal, he doesn't do any of the kissy kissy stuff, it's just gratuity and if i'm honest a bit sinister at times. The expression on his face isn't that of someone making love, it's more like a murderer in the middle of a kill. But the big turn on for me (and this is a confession) was the fact that he was very verbal. No silence and what you into crap. He knew what he wanted and whilst he was doing it was telling you what he would also like to do to you if he manages to get round to it. There was a few of those things that i insisted he didn't even think about doing, but he just laughed and said he was playing.
Drugs are involved and that obviously has something to do with it. He is Bisexual so i don't really know what the score is with him or if i'll ever see him again. When he left he told me he might come over to see me sometime with his "bird".
I know i should really see this as a one off and move on, but if i'm honest he is quite interesting and exciting. It's purely sexual and nothing to do with relationships etc. But i'm still thinking about him even now.
If i rang him up for all i know he might just tell me to piss off.
Anyways it's Friday so i'm out tonight with Daniel and Howard. Time to get wrecked again ;-)
2 comments:
Have a great weekend and watch out for the Derek Sausage!
Sausages, C**ts, Drugs OH MY!!! Sounds like one of those experiences that if you never dabble in a little you will probably regreat it later in life. As long as your careful. it sounds like an adventure!! Woot!
have a great weekend, lots of love,
Ryan
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