Friday, 25 November 2011

Alarming times

Had a major panic on tonight.
The house that i live in has a burglar alarm fitted to it but has never worked. I don't even know the combination number to turn it on or off, the previous owner didn't leave it and in any case it looks like it was fitted in the 80s. I searched to find out who installed it but the company name on the front panel seems to belong to to someone who went to business heaven years ago.
So i ignored it.

Imagine my panic then when i returned home tonight to find it flashing and screaming like an air raid siren warning of a bombing raid to everyone down the street.
It hadn't been set off by burglars, there had been a power cut. But....How the fuck do i turn it off ???.
Whats the code ?. Where are the buttons ?. Who do i ring for help ?.

I tried every combination of numbers from 1234 to 09876. I didn't even know how many numbers i was supposed to press. Maybe there should have been three numbers not 4.

All the time this was happening i was getting a piercing screeching in my ears from the main control panel that was so loud and hurting so much  that i even tried sticking a dish cloth in one lughole and a teatowel in the other to dampen the sound down enough for me to get close to it.

I must have looked like Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers, I was trying to rip the bloody box off the friggin wall to stop it ringing. I tried turning the electricity off at the mains, but they go to battery power don't they? and any way i can't sit in the dark until the battery runs out can i?.
Next solution, Unplug the battery. NO , it's still friggin wailing.
The whole bloody street must have been getting as pissed off as i was because there is nothing worse than an alarm constantly ringing for no reason.
In the end i found a little box at the side of the panel and pulled out a tiny 3amp fuse. Joy ! it's fallen silent.

I'd never make a very good burglar would it ? The whole of the kitchen now looks like a bomb has hit it. I've ripped half the wall away and the alarm box  looks like a 1980 Apple computer pre assembly. With wires, a scraggy box and a couple of broken elements dangling all over the place.
My ears are still ringing though and if i'm honest, they actually hurt.

God i need a drink. get me out of here.


MadeInScotland said...

My fear. We have one and sometimes I don't turn it on when we go away in case it goes off....


Jason Shaw said...

Gosh, I'd long since thought you'd gone to blog holiday, but you're back and I didn't know, anyway, welcome back. Sorry thats a tad late!

Oh you poor thing, I know what it's like, it happened to me once, at a place of work, but the work alarm was also sent messages to a control centre and the local copshop. I have more flashing lights, and the sound. Eiiks.


naturgesetz said...


And the police never showed up in response to all this?

Looking on the bright (???) side, at least this give you a project to work on, repairing the kitchen.

Mambam said...


Get it disconnected now. I thought exactly the same. But then there was a powercut.

Hello again ;-)


Police ? show up to a house alarm going off ?
LOL you're joking.
and yes the kitchen may need repairing after this.