Sunday, 28 June 2009

Dinner date

Not a spectacular night last night but certainly an enjoyable one.

We first went for a drink and then on to a meal at about 8.30, That's pretty early for me to be eating, but i was starving so i was glad in the end. I say pretty early because once i have eaten that's it, drinking is more or less over for the night. It has little effect and I'm so full i sip rather than guzzle (LOL).
This worked to my advantage because it kept me at a good level of consciousness and i didn't make a Pratt of myself. He was driving so only had one drink and i was on wine most of the night (not my usual tipple) so i was just a little fresh.

The main thing i got out of his life story is that he is Bisexual, not Gay.
He didn't say that, He tried to make out that he had been in the closet and was just coming out. I have decided it otherwise. He has had girlfriends in the past but always fancied men. He hasn't had any boyfriends and most of his relationships with guys have been on more of a friendly basis.
It seems that his job took him away from home and he now has his own place. This has allowed him to explore a side of his sexuality that he would never have dared open the door to if he was still living at home with his family. When i asked him what he had discovered by exploring his other side, he said that he liked men more that he imagined he would. At one point he thought it was just sexual. He could never see himself actually having a relationship with another man. But over time he has had different ideas in that direction and changed his views on women. He still fancies them sexually, but after trying a few times he finds that his feelings towards women are those that he thought he had for men. He finds them sexually attractive, but wouldn't want to marry one and struggled having relationships in the past.

I'm not sure what to make of all this. I suspect from our conversation that he is just bisexual. He has tried the full on hetero relationship and it didn't work, so he is now looking to dip his toe into trying the other side by having some sort of relationship with a gay man to see if that is what he is.
I say dip his toe into a gay relationship because he doesn't want to be coming out to his family and friends.

Anyways after all this heavy stuff we did have a few laughs, i did have a great time and he is a really nice person. Yes, i did take him home, and yes he did stop the night.
But i decided early on that was gonna happen, not because it might be something he was looking for. I just fancied him and went for it (as usual).
There is no better feeling than skin against skin and it seems like ages since i had that feeling.

Today i feel OK about it all. I'm up for a meet again and so is he. It won't be today, or tomorrow, perhaps later in the week. We are taking it slow, no string and nothing heavy.
I'm happy with that. Maybe this will work for me as much as him. My main problem with relationships tends to be that i feel smothered. If i am honest i quite like the idea of someone who can only see me now and then. Because although i want a relationship with a guy, i only want to see them every now and then as well.

I suppose the bottom line to all this is that both of us are trying it out. I'm not gonna over analyze this particular thing, i just wanna take it as it comes (if you'll excuse the pun)


Anonymous said...

There are no prescriptions on how gay relationships should work, though there are many, many examples of 'open', 'sharing' and 'closed' ones around. I'm speaking of fidelity there.

Some young guys get hooked up on the idea that love means fidelity and, frankly, when you're young and horny that's a joke!

So call it a 'designer-relationship' and you do with him whatever the heck the two of you want - and run the rest of your lives around that.

It's cool. At the end of the day you had a 'no shocks and no disasters' evening, you shagged, you slept and you're both still up to see each other again within the week.

That has to be a success!

y78ilm said...

Seems quite promising to me. I can definitely relate to alot of what you wrote, no doubt about that!

Mambam said...

Yeh, can't decide if this one will be an open, closed, shared or kept on one side for when i fancy a bit ;-)