I have been invited to a wedding. 
The only time i ever set foot in church is at weddings, christenings or funerals and i hate all of the above. I never know what to do, i don't know the words to any of the songs, do you sit down?, stand up? do the Macarena or what ?.
It reminds me too much of school and the sound of someone droning on in a big room that echos every word always sends me to sleep.
On top of all this, most churches are bloody freezing and after you've been sat on what seems to be just a plank of wood with legs for an hour or so your bum goes numb.
The only saving grace -excuse pun- is listening to a crowd of old people trying to sing and sounding like a cats chorus, it always cracks me up that.
Personally i mime -badly- and flick through the song book looking for pictures that never seem to be there. So as you can imagine i accepted this invitation reluctantly.
It's not something i am looking forward to, it's on my list of things i have to do, rather than the list of things i want to.
The only time i ever set foot in church is at weddings, christenings or funerals and i hate all of the above. I never know what to do, i don't know the words to any of the songs, do you sit down?, stand up? do the Macarena or what ?.
It reminds me too much of school and the sound of someone droning on in a big room that echos every word always sends me to sleep.
On top of all this, most churches are bloody freezing and after you've been sat on what seems to be just a plank of wood with legs for an hour or so your bum goes numb.
The only saving grace -excuse pun- is listening to a crowd of old people trying to sing and sounding like a cats chorus, it always cracks me up that.
Personally i mime -badly- and flick through the song book looking for pictures that never seem to be there. So as you can imagine i accepted this invitation reluctantly.
It's not something i am looking forward to, it's on my list of things i have to do, rather than the list of things i want to.
9 comments:
I spose you'd just hope that a gay 'wedding' wouldn't be like a church one.
I've only been to a couple but I spose we can't expect all our families and friends to come to ours if we don't go to theirs.
Anyway, I think they'e a hoot & only last 20 - 30 minutes anyway!
Pluck up your courage, put on your best pink outfit and sally forth with a boy of your choice on your arm!
The church songbooks are no porn!I can sing most catholic church song, by head. long expererience.
If you'd go often, you'd know what to do. Problem solved. ;)
take your ipod. sit at back. get up when others do. sit down when they do. at end, shake vicar by hand and pat on back saying wot a jolly good service.
Easy init?
Love. Tigs.
Sit in the back. All those who haven't a clue what to do sit in the back. You'll be with like-minded people. I usually go for the first 15 minutes, then step outside for 20 min then come back in.
Thanks for your advice, it's not a gay wedding micky, so nothing unusual, just a boring old over the top flash Husband & wife affair.
I will try sitting at the back and sneaking out but i suspect i will have to sit where i am told.
I may need to grow my hair a bit to hide my headphones Simon but it is a thought.
I'm not sure if i am gonna duck the wedding and go to the reception, or go to the wedding and make an excuse not to go to the reception.
It's a long way off yet so time to think it over ;-)
Ah, if it's a long way off, you got plenty of time to attend services, observe, and learn, innit.
LOL
I went to a catholic school for a while
Lotta good that did.LOL
But at assembly everyday I used to think 'what does that priest have on uder there, I wonder if I could lick the whole of his leg before my saliva runs out'
anyway it might work..give it a go..LOL
Nick
'I wonder if I could lick the whole of his leg before my saliva runs out' LOL
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