Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Quotes of the day

I’m at work as I type this post, pretending to look busy. There is nothing to do. I’m up to date with all my stuff and to avoid being given someone else’s shit to deal with I’m doing my best to look like I’m rushed off my feet.
My father always taught me to do this. “Even if you have nothing to do at all, never ever let it look that way”.” Find something to do yourself or someone will do it for you”.
And he was right. I can’t believe some people. Some of the guys here are happy to read a newspaper or sit with their feet up. Then they can’t understand why the boss suddenly gets all worked up when he sees them. Looking busy keeps the top brass happy. Even if the place is going down the toilet, the fact that everyone looks busy makes them feel secure for some reason.
Of course it does men that I have nothing to actually write about.

I was reminded of a book of quotes I have somewhere by famous people when looking at Michael Rivers blog.
I wonder if I listen carefully enough this afternoon I can see whether ordinary people can come up with similar thought provoking, amusing or interesting quotes.
Here are a few I have made note of in the past hour or so. The answer is obviously No!.

Fuck it, let’s have a biscuit

There is no sugar in this coffee, it tastes of shit

That Kerry Katona needs a rocket up her arse

Bloody X Factor, not again, and it goes on till Christmas….Please god no more I give in

“Paul McCartney dies his hair, my mate once saw him out in the sunshine and he had a blue aura round his head

“You use up more calories eating a stick of celery than there are calories in the celery”

“When he handed in his time sheet he stunk of ointment”

“Is anybody gonna answer that phone or are we all washing our hair?”

“has anyone seen my keys ?, I left them in the toilet”

“We once went to Granada Studios when you could go on the tour. You could actually walk down Coronation Street. It’s only tiny and the buildings are built three quarters the size of a proper house. Barry had a piss in Des Barnes’ back garden”

“Fanny Hair”

And my personal favourite exchange on the subject of Jordan and Peter Andre

“He’s a lost soul”…”she’s an arse hole..”


naturgesetz said...

LOL at keys left in the toilet.

And you're right about looking as if you're working.

Put The Lotion In The Basket said...

here's one I heard yesterday on the bus, which was hammering down the road at about a hundred miles an hour

man gets up to get off as bus is speeding along

woman with him;
'sit down, if you fall over you won't have a leg to stand on'

just genuis.


Doomed But Cheerful! said...

OMG - if it didn't pay the rent, I'd say get out of there before their dullness sucks out your soul!

Aw - fuckit, I'm going to have a biscuit!

G =]