Saturday, 19 September 2009

Things have gone all tits up.
Me and jack have had a bit of a fall out. It’s over something or nothing but it turned into one of those shouting matches where you say things you regret, but know you mean.
I for instance made suggestions about what he gets up to when I don’t hear from him Monday to Friday when he is working away and not answering his phone. How he knows Dave and his mates and whether he is being honest with me about what he gets up to when I‘m not there. And he made remarks about me and Daniel, and the fact that he doesn’t like him and thinks Howard is a berk.

We can get back friends again, but this will always be on the back burner and not forgotten I’m sure. He wants me to drop Daniel and move on. If our relationship is to go anywhere we need to make a commitment to each other. Daniel should be further down in the pecking order than he currently is.
But I don’t know enough about Jack. Where are all his friends that I see on a regular basis ?. The only ones I have met that seem to know him well are his family who know nothing about his gay side, or gay friends who seem to be from his seedy side. Everything about him is false or living in a fantasy world of make believe.
He has said he will come round tomorrow and we can talk properly about it.
I don’t feel like going out again tonight so I’ll stop in and think things over.
I sometimes wonder whether relationships are worth the hassle. It might be lonely when you are single but at least you know where you stand.

To make things worse, there has been a murder in our area over the weekend. Drugs are suspected and it’s being reported that there are gangland connections. Maybe I should consider that move to Halifax after all.

5 comments:

Paul said...

I read about that gangland murder. They're always unsettling but as long as you stay away from the drug scene you should avoid problems.

As for you and Jack... well you need to sit down and talk, you both have friends outside the relationship, which is probably how it should be. Because Jack isn't out, the two of your are always gonna be living with his fear of being outed. Only you can decide whether you want that and can live with it. Just try to talk about it without recriminations.

Pilgrim said...

Skip him! Get a real boyfriehd. :-) Propz Pilgrim...you don´t do much commenting, I guess?

Anonymous said...

I guess you need to let things go in the direction they need to. If you feel it is not right follow your instincts. Too many times people don't follow their instincts and invest too much time in someone who doesn't deserve it.
Tough situation. Good luck..

Antony said...

I agree with Paul, communication is important.

Hugs,

A x

Mambam said...

Thanks for the advice guys. I am taking note, honest.