Monday, 22 February 2010

Single and Gay

I don't know if it's anything to do with my Uncle dying a couple of weeks ago, but I've been having some of those 'where is my life going' type of thoughts recently.
I don't mean work or home, i mean relationships.
Am i gonna be alone for the rest of my life ?. Do i wanna be alone forever ?. Or am i happy to be single and stick with friends on the end of the phone when i need them ?.
I have written in the past about being quite happy to be single and how, when i have had a partner, it's made me feel a bit smothered and wanting to be single again, so what's all that about ?.

I know someone who dumped a girl because she went to the toilet and left a smell. I've finished with guys because of the way they scrape the plate at the end of lunch.
I've taken boys home who look pretty but have nothing between the ears and turned down guys who i get on with like a house of fire and made me laugh, but didn't hit it in the looks department.

But it's all superficial and i'm starting to think i should have just stuck with 90% personality with 10% fanciability, instead of the other way around.
I can't quite work out tonight if i'm reviewing my opinion of being single. Or just lonely for a shag.



Anonymous said...

maybe a bit of both? ;)

K@RL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K@RL said...

Hey Mambam, I know what you feel.. I cant come to an end about this matter. When I am single I am looking forward to being engaged.. when I'm engaged I feel myself smothered, as you say, and I keep on saying to me: "no more string".
One month ago I left my last boyfriend for this reason.. Now I am alone and I'm looking forward to falling in love again..

naturgesetz said...

Interesting questions. I guess to you being single doesn't mean exactly the same thing it does to me.

About all I can say is there is a value to intimacy. I don't mean sex; I mean having someone with whom you feel close, someone with whom you can really be open. The way you write about Daniel sounds like an intimate relationship or something pretty close. I think as long as you have that, having an official partner may not be important. Because the partner would normally be the one with whom you had that emotional intimacy.

I also think that becoming partners implies an expectation of something long term. And you're too intelligent to be happy long term with an airhead. So yeah, you should pay more attention to personality.

But from this side of the pond it sounds as if you've got a good thing going in your relationship with Daniel. There is the distance factor that restricts your time together. If you thought of yourselves as partners, that distance would probably kill the relationship. But as mates, it works, because time apart is acceptable.


It'll come to ya...

Mambam said...

I want my cake and eat it, that's my problem.

Perhaps you're like me and find the chase more exciting than the catch.

I agree with everything you say, but doesn't that put things in seperate boxes ?. Something i have been accused of by ex boyfriends.

Close friends i keep as friends and stay loyal to but won't have sex with. Sex partners i lose interest in the second i've shagged because i don't see them as close enough friends. Just a shag.

I hope so.....i think...or do i ?

Jason Shaw said...

I love the chase, perhaps more than the catch. I hate being single and I love being single.

However, I'm finally leaning, to go for personality rather than just looks, cuz, after having gone for looks over the other means I'm single at 40!

Love the blog x

Dean Grey said...


You're still young enough to find the right guy.