Friday, 19 March 2010

Preparation for sex

It's the weekend again and i always feel uplifted on a Friday night.

I've decided to go out late. Nothing seems to happen anywhere until after 10 and i know none of my mates bother hitting the town until then.
This means i can spend the next couple of hours preening myself. Bath, shave, dusting of talc round my bollocks (LOL) Plax, brush teeth, floss, scrape tongue, mouth wash, gargle. I always go a bit overboard with my dental hygiene which is a bit strange when you think that i'm out looking for a fella and when i find one i'm liable to have something in my mouth that is less than hygienic.

When i think to myself how much preparation i make for sex when getting ready to go out it make me laugh. Especially when most of the time i come home alone.
Either no one i fancy shows interest, or someone i'm not interested in does.
I've even been to family weddings and got ready and prepared 'just in case'. Why would you take a packet of condoms to a wedding reception ?.
Well maybe one day i'll get to shag the groom..Ha!

Mark and Mike will be along for the ride, which is brilliant because Mike drives !! and when he drives, he doesn't drink !!!.
It must be horrible for him thought, i can't think of anything worse than driving round a car full of drunks. I've done it myself. They think the world is a magical, fun, hilarious place. You don't get the joke.

The only up side is that your the one left stand when everyone has passed out, so you get the pick of the bunch to sexually assault when they are unconscious.


Anonymous said...

Keep preening...about the time you didnt is just when the perfect guy would walk

vilges suola said...

Ah, memories! I used to do all that too, including the dusting of talc to the bean-bag. Amazing how things can change. Now if I never see the inside of a gay club again, it'll be too soon.

naturgesetz said...

I gather lots of straight guys also make preparations for going out and often end up with nothing to show for them.

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed! I never knew you had to do all that. Damn *rushes away to prepare but can only find Glade - thinks 'will that do'?*

drucloud said...

been there mate loved getting ready took ages shave , eyebrows, moisturise , talk in bollocks even .well it does get sweaty down there. all that for nothing .
todays pick them pants are a no no .