Thursday, 9 December 2010

Emotional Investment

Been checking mobile phone charges for when i go away.
To use my I-phone in the US it will cost me 90p a minute and to send any data it will be approx £ 6.00 per megabit. And even if i use free Wifi i should check that there isn't a hidden connection charge.
Unless i can find somewhere that i can get completely free Wifi you can all fuck off. This blog will stop posting for a few weeks and i'll see you in the new year.

But it would be nice to blog the odd picture and post a bit of text when i'm sitting bored one night over there wouldn't it?.
We'll have to see. Watch this space.

I've been forced into a night out with Daniel and his Current Boyfriend tomorrow night. I've met him before but i don't really know him that well. We've exchanged pleasantries but never actually sat down and talked properly. I'm not sure if this is a serious sort of relationship or just a fling.
One thing i have learnt about gay relationships are that they can go from full on Soul Mate man of my dreams to who the fuck was he ? in a matter of 24 hours.
The down side to this is that some guys who i have found great fun and really pleasant to know suddenly disappear from my life overnight. They came into view because they were going out with a close friend and then when that close friend falls out with them you don't see them any more.

This is not an exclusive thing to gay men, it happens when relatives Divorce or split up. I had an Aunt who split from her husband. He was a great guy who was there for practically every family event i remember when i was a kid. Christmas, Birthdays, weekends, family get togethers. The sort of fella that you looked forward to seeing. "Oh Good Dan will be at the party" would be the sort of thing you might think. But then they split, and as he wasn't actually on the family side we saw less and less of him, until my aunt eventually remarried and So did he. Now he's never mentioned.
What do you do ?. My aunt and new uncle don't want to talk about him and i'm pretty sure my uncles new wife wouldn't wanna get together with the family of his Ex Wife. So although everyone is fine and social, life moves on and so have they. You, however, are left thinking that you've invested a lot of time and emotion into a relationship that is cut short because someone else has decided it's over. When relationships end, the people in the middle rarely think how it will effect everyone else around them. But when they get together in the first place near the top of their priority list is to make sure all family and friends get involved and are just as smitten as they are.
So do i bother getting matey with this new boyfriend of Daniels ?.
He might be History by New Year.


naturgesetz said...

If the person is really important in one's life, I suppose one can make the effort to keep in touch on the side. But if one doesn't already have an address or phone number before the split, it can be difficult to track the person down.

Life lesson: get contact info for anybody you want to stay in touch with.

Application: once you know Daniel's new beau you can decide whether to find out how to get in touch after a (potential) split. But if he and beau go splitsville, it might put a strain on your relationship with Daniel if you keep in touch with beau. So better to be friendly but keep prepared to have him disappear from your life.

Life is like that. We meet nice people; we lose contact; years later we think of them and say, "I wonder what ever happened to so-and-so." Change is the only constant.

word verification: intiativ — neither initiative nor intuitive

drew said...

I am sure Daniel values your friendship and your approval. You are just being a good friend. If the shoe was on the other foot, he would do the same but he still owes you the 50!!! Maybe you can tell him if he starts making payments you will join him ;-)

Jason Shaw said...

Good luck in America, hope you have a great time.

david said...

if daniel is gonna house-sit for you, it might be a good idea to get yourself a little familiar with this guy hes crushing on... dannys prolly not gonna spend the entire holiday alone in a house that isnt his... unless he has some company... better someone you know, well kinda, than a series of tricks & total strangers..

~ cheers...

robert said...

Ironic, but I can't use my I Phone outside the US without unlocking it and finding another carrier. I use a sim card and world phone outside the US or skype for calls. All libraries in the states have internet labs. They are either free or really cheap.
Don't know where you will travel, but it isn't all that horrible here. And we love foreign accents :)Its the easiest way to get laid...yeah, we are shallow.