I watched a bit of 'the Joy of teen sex' on telly tonight. Two gay lads wanted to know a bit more about poppers.
The silly buggers started by explaining that they liked sniffing the stuff, but the hit only lasts a few seconds. So once tried sticking it in a dish with a candle underneath !. Very funny. but a great way to burn the house down.
Anyway as usual with these sex shows a heterosexual woman who has absolutely no bloody idea about gay sex gave them some advice. "well i've got a great alternative to poppers" she said. This made me sit up a bit. An alternative to Poppers eh ? what's that then ? some carpet cleaning fluid that is safe and gives you a longer hit?. Well not exactly.
Obviously gay men only sniff poppers so that they can relax their assholes and take a stiff one don't they?(yeh right), so the alternative was a special anal relaxing spray. "it's organic and has a lovely scent" she said.
"i think it smells a bit like Curry Powder" Said the gay.
Yes, exactly fella, what a fucking stupid suggestion as an alternative to poppers. And when having anal sex, Curry is the last smell you wanna whiff from someones backside.
Next week an alternative to having a wank. A cold shower and go to bed early.