My best female friend is Rachel.
When she came to see me tonight she wasn't feeling too good and came round for some tea and sympathy. I knew she was ill because i offered her a biscuit and she turned it down, that's not Rachel. I don't have many female friends but even if i did i know that she would be top of my favourites list.
She's about 22, slim, very pretty and can turn guys heads when she walks into a room. But she has a bit of a potty mouth, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish. Guys love her because she has no airs or graces and on a night out acts like one of the lads.
I love seeing her because she is just a naturally funny person who cheers you up without realising she is doing it.
If i said half of the things that came out of her mouth i would get my head kicked in but she has this knack of making it sound funny and honest, not offencive or cruel.
Best of all there are times when out of the blue she will throw in a question or remark that either make you think, or wonder where the hell that came from.
And because i am gay and male i get lots of questions that suddenly come into her head from a female perspective.
Tonight's conversation stopper was
"Can men Wee and Poo at the same time ?"
Not something i think about when I'm on the toilet, but it also begs the question back, why are you asking me that?, followed by, why?, can't women ?.
I'm probably not painting a very good picture of Rachel am i?
When she came to see me tonight she wasn't feeling too good and came round for some tea and sympathy. I knew she was ill because i offered her a biscuit and she turned it down, that's not Rachel. I don't have many female friends but even if i did i know that she would be top of my favourites list.
She's about 22, slim, very pretty and can turn guys heads when she walks into a room. But she has a bit of a potty mouth, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish. Guys love her because she has no airs or graces and on a night out acts like one of the lads.
I love seeing her because she is just a naturally funny person who cheers you up without realising she is doing it.
If i said half of the things that came out of her mouth i would get my head kicked in but she has this knack of making it sound funny and honest, not offencive or cruel.
Best of all there are times when out of the blue she will throw in a question or remark that either make you think, or wonder where the hell that came from.
And because i am gay and male i get lots of questions that suddenly come into her head from a female perspective.
Tonight's conversation stopper was
"Can men Wee and Poo at the same time ?"
Not something i think about when I'm on the toilet, but it also begs the question back, why are you asking me that?, followed by, why?, can't women ?.
I'm probably not painting a very good picture of Rachel am i?
4 comments:
Hahahaha she sounds exactly like my friend Colleen!!! She asked me that once out of the blue and I was like WTF? I love that someone else has been asked that question!!!
I give in. Can we?
Also, do women have hair round their arseholes? I have never known or wanted to find out for myself.
PS A woman once asked me 'what's it like to have a penis?' Try giving an informative answer to that one. ('Great!' won't do.)
The answer to her question is, "Yes, if you have to do both badly enough." In my experience it's when I'm doing No.2 that sometimes I'll start No.1 as well.
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