Member me ?

Not back to blogging properly but i'm bored tonight and thought i would tickle the keyboard for a bit.

A little potted recap of the happenings since i last posted something....

I'm feeling a bit better now than i did at the time of my last post. My mum is still struggling to cope with living on her own, but life goes on i suppose.

Daniel is just the same. He just split up with someone for stealing some cash out of his wallet whilst staying at his place for the night. I never liked him anyway, i could tell he was a dead leg.

I've got a new job after walking out on my last one (don't ask)

Luckily i still live in the same house that i did after scaring the pants off myself wondering where i was gonna get the money from to pay my mortgage. Note to self -: find a new job before you end your old one next time.

I'm still single but i'm hitting the town less and less lately so that doesn't help does it?.  Is this what happens when you get older ?. The same thing seems to be happening to my mates as well. We used to be out every weekend.

People are getting married and settling down all around me. Then they have kids and that's that, they disappear into their own little world and unless i visit them we lose contact completely.

My sex life is lagging and i've taken to gaydar for too much over the past few weeks just to keep my hand in. But it's the same old story. I'm bored when i'm on my own, but when i find someone they start to smother me and i want to be on my own again.

I do want a partner, i don't want a partner. Make your bloody mind up Mate!.

Anyway if anyone is still out there. Hope you are well and everything is ok with you. Now how about an obligatory picture of a half naked man for us all to enjoy together ?

Plonkers out lads..

Ball bag or sock stuffing ?. You decide

The end

FYI my dad died on Tuesday.

This is my final blog post. There are more important things to do than sit at a computer half the night blogging.

Time to move on and re-evaluate my own life.
Sorry to cut things dead like this but it seems appropriate under the circumstances. My heart just isn't in it any more.
There's no self pity or depression. Just glad there's no more pain and distress.

I'm fine and so is my family. We knew it was coming and it's just a relief it's now over.

Thanks for following. But for the moment i shall be spending more time offline than on.

All the best

Mambam ;-)

Made me smile

Dreaming of a German Lad

Went out last night to show of my tan. Best make the most of it because the weather is so shit in this country i imagine it'll be gone by the end of next week. No wonder Brits are so white.

Like a pillock i dressed in full Tshirt mode and spent most of my time running from one watering hole to another trying not to get wet or freeze my bollocks off. Daniel didn't come. He's totally skint and couldn't borrow any more, in fact the down side of borrowing money is that you can't be seen to have a good time until it's paid back.

The one question everyone asked was 'did you get off with anyone?' and the answer, sadly, was no.  It was only 7 days and two of them were traveling to and from the UK. Even when i did see someone i fancied i dare not make an approach. Funny that, isn't it?. It's ok when you are at home, but miles away in a foreign land tends to put you back to square one. I almost spent an entire week back in the closet it was that bad.

I'm reminded of when i moved from Oldham to here. I had to start all over again with new friends and letting them know i'm gay. You imagine that coming out is something you only have to do once. But in reality you spend your life coming out. Maybe if i was camp it would be different. People would just know and assume i am. But i'm forever being asked if i have a girlfriend or am married. and even though i say so myself, both Daniel and I could have shagged at least twi girls who staying at our hotel if we really wanted to. There was lots of smiles and hello's coming from their direction every time we passed them by.

Why couldn't it have been like that with the boys ?. That German lad is still in my brain and i've had many a good wank thinking about him. The stuff we've done together i could not repeat. LOL, sometimes he was all lovely and kissy, the next minute he was a bit of an animal. Ha!. If only. He's probably got a girlfriend or married or something.

Anyway i'm rambling now.

Again, tonight no one got to see my white bits. I didn't get so much as a kiss, and i am back home already at 12.11 am. But it's fathers day tomorrow and i'm going to my parents for the day so an early night will be a good thing.

I've written in the past about the way i feel when i have a boyfriend. They seem to stifle me and i long to be single again. Now i've had a bit to much singledom and want to get back to boyfriend material again.

Or maybe that's just the drink talking. Time to go to bed me things.

Back Home

Well i'm home now and we all know how bloody depressing that is after a lovely holiday. Especially when it was one you enjoyed. In fact i didn't realise how much i enjoyed it till i got up this morning and looked outta the window.

How is my dad?, back to work on Monday, i've no milk left, need to go to the supermarket, no one cooking for me anymore, the grass needs cutting..etc.

And my bank account is empty as well. Back to life, back to reality.

I've been looking through my holiday snaps. Hardly any have me or Daniel in them. It's nearly all scenery. We both dodge each other when taking pictures. I hate looking at myself. But that just leaves lots of scenery and arty farty snaps that don't really have the same impact afterwards. What was once a breathtaking scenic view now just looks like a flat picture on a computer screen. it's just not the same is it?. I wished i dared whip my camera out and take as many as i wanted too of images i wanted to really keep.  I was reading a book by the pool that mentioned 'Cocteau's cocktail parties'. "they say that Jean Cocteau, to amuse his friends, could lie back knacked on a table and bring himself to full ejaculatory orgasm without touching himself, through the power of imaginative thought alone".

Well, i can tell you, there were times sitting around that pool when i could have done the same. Sitting around half naked people does that for you.

There are some pictures of us in the hundreds i did take, but not as many as i thought. I'll post some this week (not of us, i've told you before, if you wanna blog properly don't tell the world who you are).

But amongst them there are the odd ones of fellas i saw and fancied and dared take  :-) Trying to get Daniel to stand in the foreground whilst i was really trying to get one of some fit fucker in the background. LOL.

In fact it became a bit of a catch phrase during our holiday. Whenever anyone took a picture the other one said "was that a real one or just a background shot?"

It will make a change to post pictures with my blog that i took myself i suppose rather than nicked of the net. They may be tame in comparison but it'll give me a little sigh of...i wish...

Before i left i unplugged the  telly recorder by mistake. So i've missed a weeks worth of telly. But then again, did it matter?. No is the answer.

I don't wanna go

As I type this I'm sitting in reception waiting for the bus to take us to the airport. Had a last minute top up of my sun tan, shower and change into suitable cloths for English weather, waved goodbye to my room and handed in my key.
God it's depressing. It's fantastic weather outside and I don't wanna go home. It's like that regeneration scene from dr who where he changes from david tennant to matt smith.
(who fans will understand that reference).
I don't fancy the journey either. When you are going home it's not as much fun travelling. You just want to click your fingers and your back.
Back to the real world soon.
More on this holiday at a later date. You can't blog properly on a phone.

Landing

Feel like this today

Meet and greek

Tonight we will be drinking here at some point
http://www.rodosnightlife.com/en2/big-brother-bar
Join us why don't you ?
We've done faliraki. We even went there today. It was deserted. Everyone must have still been in bed sleeping off last night.
Faliraki is the Greek Blackpool. With lots of drinking holes, tatoo parlors and strip clubs.


Rhodes is the Greek st annes (if you are English you will understand that reference) but we've had some tips where to go local and have decided it's cheaper than traveling every night


It cost us nearly 20 euros to get there and another 20 back. And the journey was more like a theme park ride it was so scary. He kept calling us young boys lol.

I look like a bloody beetroot. But it's going brown as well.
Anyway I'm out and about when I post this
Tried to post some mobile bid warier but couldn't get it to blog so check out my twitter feed instead it seemed to work there.

Bog door in faliraki

Testing video u tube

Trying to post video to blog from my phone but can't get it to work

Try this instead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjFFLXvtGwU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Suffering for my sins

Should have posted this yesterday but didnt get time ;-)
Very hungover, Really tired. 
Day of rest. 

But more of the same tonight I hope ;-) it cost 17 euros to get there in a taxi but split between the two of us it's money well spent.

I'm in love with a German. No idea what they call him, or even if he's gay, but he's tall, blonde, and has the most amazing bod ever.
Better still, he looks like he's been here a while 'cos he's all golden brown. Yum.
We've been following him and his mates around for a couple of days now but sadly they don't speak English and we don't speak Germany. Shit !
Not sure I'll be making any advances though. He's with a group of seven lads.  But you can admire the view though can't you ?.
I'm now a sort of red/brown mix. It's really windy down this side of the island which makes it great for sun bathing. The sun roasts you and the wind keeps you cool. Daniel is complaining that his bellybutton is sore. He obviously didn't stick his finger in it when applying the sun block.
The back of my kneck is the worst. 
There's a couple who are always by the pool. They are in their late 30's or 40's and look like ex porn stars. He's got tatoos and pierced nipples, she's got huge false tits and fake body of a 20 year old but a face of a 50 year old. Daniel took one look at them and said "swingers".
They always strut around in g strings and when in the pool they are always kissing and touching each other up. Today they were sat across from us and our view of them was up their arses because they sunbathed face down. When they rolled over to do the other side his cock fell out and he just slapped it back into his swimming trunks (?) again as if nothing had happened.  It looked like a baby's arm hanging out of a pram.
I wish o had the guts to get my camera out. I could fill a blog with some of the sites I've seen this week.
I wish I could show you;-( 
We have been told that Greece is a very conservative country and we don't really know how open or careful we should be. But I went to buy a bottle of water this evening in a grubby shop just around the corner from our hotel and noticed that there was a small stash of porn for sale along with all the other essentials you might need for your holiday. It wasn't a huge section, just 3 DVDs, a couple of dirty books and a set of playing cards but I was surprised to see it.
Mind you the guy serving me looked like a dirty old man so it's probably second hand stuff he's getting rid of himself after getting bored with it.
I bet all the cards are all stuck together.

Faliraki

Visited the old town today. It's just a short walk away.
The whole place is ancient and surrounded by a big wall. There are several entrances but once you get inside it's like a maze of little streets no wider than a car. It's easy to get lost inside and we were warned to take a map with us, but of course we didn't. We just had to retrace our steps back the way we came to get back out
again. This was more like it, it seemed like we were actually in Greece for a change. Previous walks seemed to be much like home (apart from the half naked people strolling by). But this was like a trip back in time.


It was scorching hot and I've caught it on my face, but it didn't stop us coming back and sitting by the pool all afternoon in the blistering sun.

Tonight we have just discovered faliraki ;-)))))

Party time !!!

The food here is amazing. But you have to dress up for dinner. It's all a bit fancy, like going to a posh restaurant. It's decked out like a wedding reception though. White table cloth, White chairs, etc. All we need is a bride and groom.
They have a sort of buffet at lunch where you can load your own food up onto a plate as much as you like.
It's all inclusive so we use it a Lot (although it's too hot to eat most of the time).
The main problem is wandering up and down staring at food I've never seen or heard of before. We are constantly looking at each other and saying "what's that?".
So we put a bit of everything on a plate and try it. Unfortunately this can sometimes mean you have chicken, fish, cheese and cake all together with a blob cream. Or your taste buds are expecting mayonnaise and get whacked with yogurt. Anyway it's all staying down and in, so it must be ok.
We are a stones throw away from the old town. Which is supposed to look old. We thought it did but when we took a closer look those bars, cafe, and shops are selling burgers, lager and the daily mail newspaper. We werent in the old town at all. Just the scruffy end thats all. You just have to watch you don't get run over by some guy on a scooter. They are everywhere and I'm not impressed with some of the driving here either. Greece is on it's arse at the moment. The country is bankrupt. But I don't think that's why you get hassled to go into every shop, restaurant or bar you pass. I think it's just normal for here.
"hello boys, table for two ?, best restaurant in town, I sit you next to some lovely ladies" no thanks we've just eaten. "hello boys, i have all sizes inside, you want to see more?" no thank you.
They are very polite and not pushy but it's a pain when you've heard it the 100th time and we stopped walking down one street because of it.
Sitting by the pool today I noticed that most of the people wearing nothing were over 60 and all the young ones were covered up.
We took a strole along the beach where it was slightly different. So I got my camera out and took pictures of the beautiful blue sea (lol) I may post some when I get back. My phone got the odd sea view though. ;-) follow those guys


There was a young girl no more than 16 or 17 on her own sunbathing in the middle of nowhere with just a g string to cover her modesty.
She looked a golden brown and had long blonde hair. Every fella walking past seemed to stop and take their time looking at the sea around her before moving on.
What confused me was that apart from a towel she was laying on she had nothing else. No bag, no cloths, nothing.
And there were no friend are family around either. Just here an a sort of deserted stretch of beach laying flat on her back with her legs apart.
Silly girl.
We ended our day walking to the harbour and entrance to the real old town. It was really nice, must go again tomorrow when it's light.



This place is the least gay town in the world.
I'll be honest. I wouldn't even dare own up to it here.

Budgie smugglers

A new day and let's hope a bit more relaxing. I feel a bit better this morning, maybe a good nights sleep after a long day travelling helped.
The food and service in the restaurant is fantastic. We had breakfast and decided to tackle the dodgy subject of changing our rooms from crap ones to good ones.


At reception we accosted to a lady who spoke to use slowly in English then turned to her friend and spoke Greek at a hundred words per second.
We had a weird sort of argument going on between us where we insisted on better rooms. Everyone was being polite and pleasant in a forceful and aggressive way.


In the end she said there were a couple of rooms coming free later and showed us one that hadn't been cleaned yet. It would be free once the maids got round to cleaning it. She couldn't let us see the second room because people hadn't checked out yet, but that would also be free later. It seemed ok and a lot better than the ones we had so we agreed to accept. But its never that easy is it ?. we would have to vacate our rooms now so they could be allocated them to someone else when they arrive. Meaning we would be without any room at all until 2 in the afternoon. But no worries we'll just sit by the pool watching the guys walk by in budgie smugglers and the girls wearing string for swim suits
We found a nice spot and stripped off. Both of us looked like ghosts in comparison to some of this lot. I felt slightly embarrassed really. There was a woman sitting across from us who looked like a leather sofa she was so brown. We were vanilla ice cream to their chocolate magnum. So we needed to get brown, and quick.
But after about 15 minutes in full sunbaking mode I realised this wasn't gonna be the same as sunbathing at home. It was HOT and I mean HOT!. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and you couldn't breathe. Even with factor 50 I could tell this might be dangerous. And I decided to move into the shade,
It didn't bother Daniel though. He just lay down and insisted he would be ok, then fell asleep.
As I type this I'm wondering if I dare get my camera out. Some of the sights are amazing ;-) on the other hand some others are horrific I've just seen a 60 year old woman topless and her tits were practically dragging on the floor.
It's definitely the type of holiday where you need to nip back to your room every now and then for a quick ...er... Rest ?
People seem to be pleasant but unapproachable. I can't work out if they just don't understand us or they really don't like the Brits.
After sitting round the pool for 4 hours we got our new rooms, a vast improvement and I'm settled now. It couldn't come too soon because I was feeling a bit sick. Not with sunstroke. I think it was the heat (heatstroke). I needed a cold shower and a lie down in a darkened room for a bit. But still felt a bit wobbly afterwards.


It's a weird place Rhodes. One hotel looks nice and lush, but the next building can be derelict and falling down. The shops are very similar, it goes from busy newsagents to building site and back again in the space of 10 yards. But I'm liking what I see so far, just need to explore further afield.

Day one

Never slept a wink last night, how can you sleep when the sun is still shining outside and the birds are singing in the trees.
But I needed to be up for 3.30 am to get to the airport in good time so I had to force myself into an early night..
Everything seemed to go well at the airport we arrived in good time dumped our luggage and went for something to eat. A full English breakfast, sausage, beans, egg, hash browns, the works. Yum.
Then we got on the plane and it all went tits up. A technical fault left us sitting like chickens in a coupe for an hour and a half And I was sat in front of a screaming child (again). Children under 3 shouldn't be allowed on planes unless they are muffled.
In the end a flight attendant announced that the delay was due to someone flushing a nappy down the toilet so we would be flying with one bog down.
He followed this with another announcement "today's in flight movie will be... meet the........ Er.... Fockers!!
I think it was an old VHS copy because it was unwatchable.
Then they tried to sell us magazines, drinks and headphones, before asking us to part with more cash for some charity or other. But no worries because the in flight meal came next, which was a full English breakfast of eggs, beans, sausage....etc. Doh !!.
When we eventually arrived there was a 45 minute wait sat on a coach. Our rep went looking for some missing passengers who never appeared. Then we eventually set off to the hotel, only to be told that our stop would be drop number 9. It took 1 hour 30 minutes to get from airport to hotel.
I was hot, irritable and really fed up.
Then we were allocated our rooms. Two singles (lol) but next door to each other.
Even I could tell they were really shit rooms. I think they just assumed that we wouldn't be bothered but we were. There is a huge air conditioning unit outside my window and we overlook a flat roof.
This is a four or five star hotel is it?
We complained but they said they couldn't move us until tomorrow.
£25 to have a safe for valuables and wifi only Accessible at reception.
It's going well don't you think?
Let's hope there is some totty about or I'm outta here.
Already spotted one in the restaurant tonight though and a quick stroll on the beach looked promising. Lots of Germans around. so you never know ;-)

I think we have contact

Welcome to Greece

Ready For Go

Well that's it then, i've got everything ready to stick in a suitcase. As long as things go ok i'll be flying to Greece this week.
I know i haven't been blogging properly for a while. I've been at my parents or the hospital most of the time but if there is internet acess over there i'll do like i did in America and spend some time writing up and posting pics of my short stay.
If you hear nothing it means we are no where near anywhere with a signal.

My dad is feeling a bit better and back home but still not 100% so i'm not sure i should go. But he wouldn't be happy if i didn't and  let's face it i can't do anything over here anyway.

Fingers crossed i can take some pics of the locals getting a nice tan (LOL)

The Gay Scene

Not long now before i get on a plane and fly the hell outta this place.

I'm still in two minds whether to go or not because my dad is really ill. It's weird, I still try to switch off and have a good time but it's always there in the back of your mind. When i'm with him it gets a bit intense and i need a break by getting away, but as soon as i do i'm wondering how he is. Last night i was out having fun. But i just wasn't in the mood. That's why i've blogged less. I'm not really in the mood for anything at the moment.

Anyways i've got my tickets, booked my seats, arranged a lift to the airport (via a friend of Daniel's) and all i need to do is get there.

I'm just not excited about it like i should be.

Daniel confessed to me the other night that he's not happy either, so we're both turning into miserable bastards. He hates his job and is sick of the scene. It's like going through revolving doors. When you first go on the scene it's a wondrous place. All those men and suddenly you feel like you've just walked into a fairground. But after a while you realise it is just like a fairground. It's all front and no substance. You suddenly notice that you're talking to guys who spend most of their time looking over your shoulder to see who else is about. You think you've had a great night with someone, only to find they're not answering their phone to you the next day. Then you're having to leave a pub because an ex just walked in. Or look around the room and notice the only ones you like don't wanna know you. Then a stranger appears and it's fresh meat for the masses. It's just a never ending chase. 

I know how Daniel feels but i've sort of dropped out of the loop lately so i crave a night out like that at the moment. I'm not in the mood for anything serious. I just wanna have some fun.

I've had the other end of that stick. The other night i got talking to a guy who was only 17. It was his first night EVER in a gay club and he was like a dog on heat. I couldn't get rid of him. He latched onto me and the more pissed he got the more morbid he got. I had two choices, take him home and fuck him. Or go to the loo and climb outta the window.

I decided to go for a piss and just walked outta the door. There would have been a time when i would have gone for the latter, but i've learnt that there are consequences and you could tell he would have been trouble.

Saying all that, I'm not sat watching Britain's got Talent and haven't been outta the house today. Is this it ?.

The exciting life i lead eh ?.

Donate a Day

On the telly this morning i saw something about a 'donate a day" charity thing. They are asking people to donate a day to help someone or some organisation.

I don't have time but i thought i would take a look. I always wished i had a job that meant something to someone instead of shuffling paper around. And now that i'm sort of looking after my dad on and off i've got a taste for it.

But i didn't wanna do just anything. I'm not fucking interested in The Dogs trust or the Royal Horticultural Society (Eh?). so i went for the Terrence Higgins Trust. Well what do expect?, i'm a poof..

I found a link to the website and found out how to volunteer and who to ring. But was hit with...

"At present we have no vacancies for volunteers in North England - please check back soon or contact Naomi to put yourself on the waiting list."

I've been over to my parents this weekend. My dad is ill again. They think it's an infection and he's on antibiotics

I think he’s taken a turn for the worst. I thought he would start getting better as time went on, but he seems to be up and down a lot. Eating food is like a game of Russian roulette. Sometimes he’s fine with it. Other times it makes him really poorly.

And I can see in his eyes that he’s had enough. I suppose that when you have been ill for a long period of time it’s not just about the illness, it’s about how long you can stand feeling that way.

He’s already said he wished he hadn’t bothered having an operation and just let nature take its course.

How do you cheer someone up who feels like that?

As i type this i’ve just realised I still haven’t arranged transport to get to the airport as well. I looked at all the options, but never got round to doing it.

To be honest I’m in two minds whether to go now. If he’s really ill the week I go away what will I do?

What a shitty weekend it was.