Good Samaritan

Being the kind and considerate person that i am, i asked the old lady who lives a few doors away from me if she needed any shopping picking up on my way home from work tonight. She must be about 80 and in weather like this your supposed to be neighbourly and checking on the elderly.

Actually, to tell the truth she waved at me as i walked past her house and asked if i could get her a bottle of milk. But i told her to write a note and i'd get her whatever she wants.

She gave me a list of things she needed like bread and Marmalade and butter and stuff. But the cheeky cow actually put down where i  was supposed to buy if from.

Got to be Morrison's Tuna but Tesco ready meal and Marks & Spencers Ham. She can fuck off, i'm not driving all over town to different shops.  She's done this once before. And she was disappointed then as well.

I’ve been getting the odd stomach pain lately. It’s like a sort of sharp needle type sting that comes every now and then.

No it’s not wind, before you ask. I don’t know what it is but like most blokes I ignore it because it’s only there once every blue moon and it doesn’t give me much trouble.

But today on the spur of the moment I thought I would ring the Doctors and get an appointment just to make sure.

I spoke to a snotty woman who answered the phone as though I was breaking her away from an important meeting. The earliest she could book me in for was December 13th. If it was anything bad I could be dead by then.

In the end I told her to forget it. It’s not that serious. But she sounded a bit put out by me saying that, as if I had been wasting her time. If it wasn’t that serious I shouldn’t have been ringing in the first place as far as she was concerned.

Doctor’s receptionists are Nazis, Fact!

Listening to the radio on my way home last night I heard a Union Leader talking about the British Airways strikes.

Why do all union Leaders all seem to come from Liverpool?

I found an old coin in the snow today. It's really small and says 1918 on it with a number 3 on the front. It's like no coin i've ever seen before. Am i rich ? Must check on e-bay !.

Woman talk

Call me a wimp but weather like this doesn't make me wanna do anything after work.

It gets dark by 4 o'clock, it's bloody freezing and there is snow and ice everywhere.

What incentive is there to go out and do anything?. Daniel E-mailed me a picture of himself and his latest shag out having a couple of drinks on Saturday night. In the background there were guys wearing T-Shirts. LOL.

I also got an email from someone i haven't heard from in years. God knows where she got my address from but for some reason she seemed to think i might like to keep up to date with what she was doing.

She called it a round robin, whatever the fuck one of those is. It had lots of woman type talk in it, you know the sort of thing, "Hun" and "chick" and Daaaarlink Yuk!.

I know a woman at work who talks like this. She would think nothing of adding "i-Poooos" at the end of any word. So for instance she might ask.

"do you fancy a dink-i-poos?" or "have you seen the Stamp-i-poos?". She's 47 by the way.

Whilst we are on the subject. Why do women have to tell you how much weight a baby is when it was born ?. I have no idea what it means. All i can think is, is that good or what? 5lb 3oz?. What does that mean?  Have i wrote that before ? I'm having a deja vu moment here. Writing a blog that is a sort of journal means i sometimes repeat myself, just like i do in real life conversation.

My exciting weekend included sitting in front of the telly and watching anything and everything. I even watched a shitty film because it said "contains scenes of a sexual nature" in the write up.

It was shit by the way. I turned it off. Why i bother watching a film because there might be the odd sex scene in it when i can turn on my computer and watched hard core filth anytime is beyond me.

Although i must admit sometimes something a bit more soft core can be as much of a turn on. Really hard porn can get boring after a while. Also, soft porn or mainstream movies can also have nicer looking people in them.

There i go again, back onto porn. It seems to be a recurring theme on this blog. I'm repeating myself again.
Have i ever mentioned that i am gay by the way?

Stats

Home Alone

So much for inviting Daniel over. He's pissed off to Hudds with his bloke.

I'm all alone with nothing to do. Watched the X Factor. Now onto Match of the day. What else is there to do but surf the net for porn.

What a boring life i lead.

To cold to go out tonight

Brokeback mountain 2

Had a nice night out last night, food, but no drink.

After the meal i was bored shitless. Pubs are for drinking and socialising in. If your gonna sit with a coke, forget it, go home. So i did.

More preparations for my Holidays today and looking up flight and check in stuff always raises a smile. I know it's security and all that but it does sound funny to be told not to try bring any Radioactive materials or a catapult onto the plane.

I saw a bag on the apple website that i was thinking of buying. It has solar panels on it and all you need to do is plug your phone into it to recharge. It would save having to get an adaptor for American voltage and i could still use it at home but it was £90 and i'm not sure if  it's too big to be carrying around and onto the plane. Anyone got one ?.

I wonder if there will be WiFi at the villa ?. It would be nice to be able to blog or post the odd picture from over there. Anyone got any suggestions on that front ?(time i used some of this blogging network for good for a change). We arn't staying in a hotel. In fact i don't know where we are staying till we get there, parents are doing all the bookings. It all sounds a bit like Butlins to me. Still, theres a pool and a car that's all i need to know.

I'll be going as single person (no boyfriend) so who knows, i might meet a nice American boy or better still a Cowboy.

Brokeback mountain 2 :-))

Snow ?

I'm supposed to be going for a meal tonight. Not sure whether i want to really, the weather doesn't look promising and i'm not in the mood.

Anyways I'll leave you with a picture to keep you all warm.

Making Plans

I've been over to my Mum and Dads tonight. Holiday talk.

I've avoided writing much about my holiday on this blog after someone suggested that telling the world i'm going away might not be a good idea. But then again i'm really thinking that Daniel might be a great house sitting friend so might not need to bother.

He's now getting quite friendly with a guy who lives in Huddersfield, which is not far away from here. This guy works in Halifax so It makes sense to stay at my place more often. He could of course just stay at this guys house, but i don't think the relationship has reached that point yet.

They met on a night out in Manchester. It's interesting how many men you meet in Mancs who actually live miles away. It's as if they travel to the big city lights for the weekend before getting back to the dreary outskirts for a normal life. (not that Manchester is particularly spectacular or exciting) Daniel says he's nothing like the same person in his own environment. I know what he means. I don't mean he's different when sober. He's just a little less "out" when he's at home, if you get my drift. He's not camp and doesn't do the hairy fairy pink fluffy woofter thing when he on the town. But he's much more masculine and acts slightly different. It's a bit difficult to describe. It's a subtle thing. Maybe i see something that's not there.

Daniel likes it anyway. And if i'm honest so do i. I'm not sure what i'm taking about here so let's move on.

Anyway back to the house sitting thing. I've told him he can spend more time here over the next few weeks if he wants to be closer to visit his mate. But i'm actually just saying that to sort of telling him how to look after my house. That sounds really patronising but Daniel has never had his own place or lived alone. From past experience of him staying with me he assumes that a plate left in the sink automatically washes itself. After all that's what normally happens at home.

And Lights go out when he's not in the room and the central heating costs nothing so can be left on when no one is in, and the worse thing of all... The door locks itself when he goes to bed at night. I remember once going back to his place after a night out. His parents were away for the weekend so we had the place to ourselves. We arrived home at about 4 in the morning on a warm summer night(?). The door was locked, but all the windows had been left open. No need to worry about burglars though because ALL the lights had been left on, along with the TV & a laptop computer.

Remember, he'd left the house like this at least 8 hours previous!.

He's like a small child really.

No time for Christmas

I'm gonna be out of the country at Christmas this year sitting in the sun somewhere (more on that at a later date).

This means that for the first time in years i'm actually gonna miss Christmas. It also means i can cut out giving presents to lots of people and spending what little bit of dosh i have on myself.

I don't do cards either, it's a struggle to buy Birthday cards for me, so wasting money on bloody Christmas cards is a joke as far as i am concerned.

Then again, if i see a card that makes me laugh i'll buy it and try find someone worth sending it to. I'm not celebrating their birthday, im just taking the piss and having a laugh.

Yesterday i saw some bloody ridiculous Christmas cards, bought them, and then thought afterwards, who the hell can i send these too ? What a waste of money for the sake of a stupid joke that isn't really funny.

One the other hand.........

This one for Daniel

This one for Mum and Dad

This one for my Boss

No snow yet

Old time Porno pics

I work with a guy who looks about 70. He's a really nice bloke and i really like working with him. But he's like my dad.

Today he brought some old photographs of himself from the late 50s or early 60s. He was in his teens and dating his future wife at the time.

Fuck me he was fit !. I'd have had him anyway LOL. But i couldn't really translate the picture of this young guy with the old bloke standing next to me. He didn't even have the same sort of features. His hair was a different colour, he had a different shape, even his teeth looked different. It took some time convincing me it was him. In fact he had to more or less show me a time laps compilation of pics of himself over the years to convince me.

When i have seen old gay porn pics from a long long time ago, or just old photographs of guys from the 40s and 50s or 60s & 70s i don't really get the same feeling i do with current stuff. In fact that hairy 70s look always makes me laugh, they just look like scruffy tramps. Sometimes there is a nice body or a nice face but it's like seeing pretty runway models who have been ruined by being made to dress up and styled to look a twat.

Last week i watched a 80s porn clip on the net, I couldn't get over the state of this guys hair. It was a sort of blond curtain that kept getting in his eyes.

I'm sure i'll look a pillock in old photos in the future ( i already do, and you wanna see stuff from when i was 15...eek!) but i wonder how it works the other way around ?.

I know we all look back on old pics of ourselves and cringe, but what about porn ?. And looking to the future, Will i watch future porn and get distracted by young guys looking weird.?

Out for lunch

Christmas is cumming

I was offered a Christmas tree by someone i know. Not a real one, a fake plastic thing that didn't even need any lights on it.

You just plug it in and away you go. Now that's my type of Christmas trimming. One that does all the work itself.

And in the new year you just unplug it and stick it back in the loft.

(lofts are magical places where it's Christmas all year round-Jimmy Carr)

Then i remember i'm going away this year. So no need to bother with all that. I never send Christmas cards so that's out as well. But what about presents ?

Can i manage to get out of buying anyone a present as well ?. MMMMmmm. I know i sound like scrooge but less money for others means a better holiday for me. Snigger..

I might get Daniel something, but he is actually asking if he can move into my pad over the Christmas period. His new Boyfriend er sorry, FRIEND! lives in Huddersfield. So it would be handy for him. He actually lives with his parents in Oldham so two weeks on his own at my place will be a holiday to him.

I trust him not to go mad and have all night parties and it would be good to have someone looking after the place (for a small fee). But i'm not sure.

My dad rang last night asking if i had his power drill. What the bloody hell would i be doing with a power drill ?.

We both laughed when he realised what he just said. He may as well have been asking me if i had been re-wiring the house. I'm no do it yourself man. I find it a pain in the arse.

But for about 5 seconds i actually racked my brain trying to think where it might be if i did have it. What the hell was i thinking ?. I'm not even sure i have a screwdriver.

By Royal Appointment

I can't belieeeeeeeve how much telly and news has been taken over by the news that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married next year.

Do they really think we care that much ?. I mean, good luck and everything but get the fuck off my telly, i'm sick of it.

As my father said when he heard the news "I couldn't give a shiny shite!".As you can tell i'm a bit intolerant of news stories that get rammed down my throat. Unless it's something special and ongoing i see no point in repeating stuff that everyone in the world knew 8 hours ago.

The Chilean miners was another. Once they were out and everyone was ok. That's it as far as i am concerned. But no, we now have documentaries, interviews, how they survived,what did they eat, Who had the first shag. etc.

But at least that was interesting i suppose.

Not getting married yet does not warrant a ITN / BBC1 / BBC2 / Channel 4 / Channel 5 / Sky News half our special in between rolling news on the "happy story".

Favourite quote on the news "I think the whole country has forgotten the current economic climate, recession, cutbacks and banking problems for a moment. Everyone feels lifted and happy by the news, just what Britain needed right now"

(Spoken by a news reporter standing on a street corner in front of a tramp begging for cash.)

Hetrosexual perverts

Weak End

Didn't have time to blog last night. Went over to my mum and dads.

Never refuse free food, that's my motto.

Today has been a nightmare at work. One of those really stressful days where everything goes wrong. I won't bore you with the details although  i will say i can handle any problem as long as it's made by me. But if i'm taking the rap for someone else i get really pissed off. A work Colleague is away for Eid and i'm stepping into his shoes. He's cocked up something that is making problems for customers and staff alike. But as he's not here to explain his mistake, i have to field the questions for him. When he gets back i'm gonna rip his bollocks off.

Over the weekend i had a night out in Manchester. Sober !.

I'm not sure i enjoyed it. Not that i was dying for a drink or anything. It just lost it's shine by about midnight that's all. Being sober around people who are pissed isn't much fun. Things that they think are funny, you don't. They get louder and louder and eventually start to irritate.

If you are gonna have a night out with people who are gonna get pissed, you must be blotto yourself. It's like being excluded from a joke or not joining in at a party.

I met a guy early on that seemed quite nice. But within an hour he turned into an arsehole.

I'm sure that someone will leave a comment that suggests i'm like that myself when i've had a few (naturgesetz ? Lol). However i would also like to say a night out on the pop is just artificial and a  bit of fun. I don't expect people to be like that during the day. I think i was the boring party pooper really.

I wanted to come home early. I might as well have taken my car for what it was worth. I could have picked up plenty of drunks, taken them home and had my wicked way with them. But i was sober, and they didn't look sexy being sick in a gutter or shouting at the top of their voice in the middle of the road.

Next time it think we need to avoid the piss pubs and go for something a little more sophisticated. Drink, meal, show. LOL.

I'm sounding like an old fart and i've only been doing it a week.

I climbed into bed, had a quick wank and fell asleep. What a great Saturday night that was.

Bliss, I'm out of the office

Wind up my wings

Bloody hell it was windy last night.

I had to go outside and drag my dustbin and recycling boxes into the garage for the night. This morning the garden looked like someone had broken in and obliterated it.

I read somewhere on the Internet that the worst time to go to Disneyland is Christmas/New Year.

It's the peak period and packed full of people. Oh Great!.

Tonight i'm gonna try Manchester Sober. That'll be interesting won't it ?> I should imagine i'll be back home by 10.30.

Have a good weekend everyone.;-)

I don't think so

Twist in my Sobriety

I'll never have any bloody money me. Even when i try saving some cash a crisis comes along and takes it off me.
I had a flat tyre today and when the guy came sort it he suggested that i get the front and another back one done at the same time.
Shit Fuck and Fuckety fuck.

Note to self- New Year Resolution - Must stop swearing.
My mother slapped me around the head the other night for saying bollocks in her company.

On the plus side. I had a good night out last night. I still managed to avoid drink and yet i enjoyed it.

I am a completely different person sober. In the same way that i am a different person in real life to the one you read about on this blog.

In real life i'm probably not as forward, opinionated and winging.

I'm not sure i'm a better person or not though. Sometimes it's better to be more open and less inward.

I do know that i get more attention when i've had a drink because i'll talk to anyone. When i'm sober i only speak to people who talk to me. It wouldn't enter my head to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger unless he made the first move.

I'm not talking about getting pissed and slurring my words whilst hanging round the neck of someone who happens to walk past. I just mean feeling a little more confident. One drink can do that for me. (i'm sounding like an alcoholic here aren't i ?).

I enjoyed tonight because i was with a group of friends. Everyone else in the room was irrelevant and just atmosphere. This weekend it'll be a proper night out in Manchester, lots of strangers, drunk people and me on the pull. I wonder if i'll still like the Manchester Club scene stone cold sober, with no drugs and my head in full working order ?.

Sobriety isn't good for my sex life me thinks.

Crowded streets full of shoppers

Don't you think she's looking manly these days ?

Baby it's cold outside

Tiny Tim

I'm going to a pub tonight. Not for a drink of course, which sort of defeats the object as far as i am concerned.

Anyway there will be food involved so it's not a complete waste of time. The problem is, what do you do until then ?. I'm bloody starving, i last ate at 12 noon and i can't see me getting any nosh until at least 8.30 so do i fit a quick snack in now or starve myself ?.

I've downloaded twitter to my mobile. I always think twitter is shit. What is the point ot it ? (he said in his blog). I tried using it a while ago but lost interest. Now i've got my I-phone i need something else loaded onto it that i can piss about with. I-Phones are a bag of shite as a telephone but are addictive for everything else. I've loaded every app that ever interested me and now i'm looking for more. I'ts like a drug. I'm turning into the person i always hated. The I-phone user who wont put the fucking thing down.

Question, how can you tell if someone has an I-phone ?

Answer, They tell you about it!!.

Anyways, until i lose interest again my twitter feeds are to the right. It means i can sort of micro blog in between these posts. and basically write a line of irrelevant shit that may come into my head when Daniel goes to the bar (or for a piss) and i'm sat on my own. 

I might try pictures too ;-0

It's bloody freezing right now and i actually considered adding an extra layer of underwear just to keep my dangly bits warm.

At the moment it looks like a chipolata. If i lived in a hot country it would probably be the size of a babies arm.

If John Holmes lived in Halifax he'd just be normal size.

1st time porn

Daniel once told me that when he was about 13 or14 he found his dads porn collection. Notice he used the phrase "dads" and not "parents".

Obviously he couldn't imagine his mother being interested in that sort of thing, in fact i can't actually imagine my mother being interested in that sort of thing ever.

It's weird how you can get it into your head that everyone in the world is fucking each other. But when it comes to family members a wall goes up. Anyway the reason i tell this story is because over the weekend he said he had seen the exact same film he saw when he was a kid. He said he thougth it was shit now thought. For some reason it wasn't as exciting. Besides there was a women in it and everyone was hairy. LOL.

I seem to remember the first time i saw a porno. I don't know how old i was, but far too young to be viewing that sort of thing for starters.  It was on a VHS that looked so old i'm surprised the tape didn't break in the machine. It was all very exciting. A bit like watching the Exorcist for the first time. I couldn't look away but knew i shouldn't be watching.

Then a guy came onto a womans face and i nearly threw up. Yeeeiuk !

How times change. LOL

A picture

I'm having a night off from blogging tonight. Nothings happened worth writing about today, or Saturday come to think of it. That's what you get for not drinking i suppose. LOL
Lets have a picture instead. :-)

Homophobic Rants

I don't really look at my U-Tube Channel much. I just go on to watch stuff not meet people, chat or interact. I reply to no-one and take no notice of my mail.

I do log on properly every now and then though because you get recommended vids judged on the stuff you have already viewed and liked. But if i'm honest it's a bit like I Tunes recommendations. They are usually shit and bare no relation to anything i like.

Anyways i did have a look the other night and amongst the comments i removed from my channel were.

"die you fucking queer" and "i hope you get aids..the bad kind".

Nice eh ?. The kind ones just typed, " god that is so fucking gay!". As if it's a bad thing.

In real life (face to face) i'm sure we have all had the homophobic bile at some point or other in our lives. But nothing ever seems to compare to stuff that people vent from the anonymity of the Internet. I have to say that it's not just aimed at gay people. It's what happens on the Internet to almost anyone and i'm sure lots of other gay bloggers have had it.

When that woman put that cat in the bin a few weeks ago i saw posts by people who named her, gave her address, telephone number and ended off by saying "go get the bitch, she deserves to die". If you don't believe me take a look. How do they get away with that ?.

Anyway Since i started this blog a few years ago i've had everything from strange men wanting to pay for me to travel half the way around the world to meet them through to a thousand word rant on god hating gays and what i should do to repent.

The reason i am writing all this is because over the last week or so i've had emails that made me realise i need to be a bit more careful about revealing too much about myself on here.

I forget myself and get carried away. On facebook it's just family, on a blog it's anyone.

What was i thinking ?.  

I suppose i'm just the same as those bile filled toss pots who get a kick out of abusing people from the keyboard in their smelly bedrooms.
I forget that there are real people out there reading this stuff. Most of the time it's just water off a ducks back, but now and then it can get to you. Let someone stand in front of me and be a bit weird and i can handle it. Do it from the shadows and it's unsettling.
I need to look over this blog a bit more closely and remove stuff.

I wonder ?

I'm going out tonight. And even though i'm not touching a drop, i'm still hoping to pull.

The question is, will i be pulling my own ?. The second question will be, I wonder what sex will be like sober ?. LOL.

Tit

Today it’s been raining constantly and the leaves (is it leaves or leafs ?) on the trees are finally giving way to gravity and splattering the pavements everywhere.

Twice this lunchtime I nearly ended up on my arse slipping on the fucking things. I remember some time ago having a similar incident. I thought i was gonna fall and instinctivly reached out to grap anything to stop myself.

Unfortunatly an old lady was waking past and i grabbed her left tit by accident.

My car was up for it’s MOT later this month so I decided to take it in and get it done a little early, just in case there happened to be something major needing fixing.

£ 349 later it’s past its MOT, had a service, new brake pads and various other bits and pieces stuck back together before they disintegrate.

All I need to do now is to tax it in December. All my holiday money is disappearing!.

Gas bill due next...

It's all planned, this weekend i'm gonna do something really weird. I'm going out and not drinking. Its firework night on Friday but i've been invited to a plot on Saturday.

Already i'm thinking of avoiding pubs.

Test

Just testing a app on my phone

Sexist

Day Two and i still haven't had a drink LOL !

Although i am quite busy, work seems to be getting really quiet.

I keep saying it i know, but it is !.

Anyways i'm now moving around the place a bit more. Jack of all trades. master of none. Or so the saying goes.

Today i helped out in the warehouse, at lunchtime we went into the little canteen area at the back. There were about three older guys drinking tea and eating sandwiches.

On the wall there were Calenders with naked women on them and a huge pile of porno mags sat near the toilet area. A toilet that opens into the canteen i might add. If anyone had taken a dump it would have been a no go area me thinks. As you can imagine this is a male only area. Not many women wander around this part of the factory.

It was funny to hear these old fat ugly blokes talking about what they would do to some young fit nubile young thing they see pictures of in the paper. Talk about sexist ! you wouldn't believe it.

Then it reminded me of some of the conversations i'v heard in the company of gay men. Much the same really only replacing fit young bird with fit twink.

Anyway, for 45 minutes they talked about the X Factor, then for the final 15 the subject turned to Barry who works upstairs.

He caught his wife shagging a neighbour about three years ago. They patched things up but ever since then he has always been suspicious of her. So now and then he goes home at unexpected times to check on her, or catch her out.

Last week he crept in and heard some noises coming from his bedroom. He burst in to find his 16 year old daughter "banging away" with her boyfriend.

I can't work out whether this story is true or just an old mans fantasy that they all seemed to enjoy. I can hardly ask Barry myself now can i ?.

Why do these stories never end "and he walked in to find his teenage son getting spit roasted by two of the neighbours"?

No more Drink ?

Had a shit weekend really. Got a bit sick of seeing people walking around dressed like fucking zombies for starters.

I know it was Halloween and i sound a bit like scrooge complaining about Christmas but some women take the whole dressing up thing to far.

It was like being trapped on some sort of stag and hen weekend.

The reason i was probably pissed off was because i had arranged to meet that fella (Mark is his name by the way) from the other week. and the twat never turned up. when i tried ringing him there was no reply. Git.

Anyway i drowned my sorrows and ended up shagging someone else that i don't actually like. So i'm more pissed at myself really.

This guy has been hanging around for ages and probably just caught me on the rebound. All i know it that it seemed like a good idea at the time. The words "oh fuck it why not?" always seem to go through my head when i'm pissed. Not a good thought ot have is it ?.

Daniel has bet me £50 that i can't go without a drink for a month. He doesn't have £50 so i don't know why i'm taking him up on this challenge but as of the 1st of November i am gonna go T Total for the whole of the month.

It doesn't mean i will be stopping in. It just means that when we go out i wont have anything stronger than a Coke.

Can i do it ?. Well we'll just have to see won't we ?. Start saving up Daniel that 50 is mine.