Shower time

Every night when Robert gets home from work he brushes his teeth, has a shower, changes his cloths and then comes down for something to eat. He's like clockwork. 

It's quite nice really. And I'm not knocking it because he's got me into doing it as well. 

But last night the shower was broken so we couldn't use it. Bloody hell it was like taking heroin away from a drug addict, you'd think he was going cold turkey. He said he felt grubby all night and when we went to bed he didn't want be trying anything because he felt dirty and smelly. 

There's something not right with that man, we both work in an office all day it's not as if we had been working on a building site.

And beside All i wanted to do was fiddle with his dangly bits. I'd washed my hands before hand and could swill them off afterwards, job done. 

   

Relationship

It seems like forever since i posted anything on this blog. In fact its a few years and since then im now in a "relationship". I still find it difficult to say that, in a relationship. I dont know why. Its nothing to do with being gay, its just that jump from being single to getting my head around being part of a couple. His name is Robert. Not Rob, he hates that. But if i really wanna upset him i'll call him Bob.

He's the most beautiful person ive ever met. Kind, caring, funny, a bit shy, trustworthy, A bit younger than me. Blonde, smooth, nice teeth, clean (slightly OCD to be honest) and a nice sized cock!.🤗

He crosses between inteligent and stupid. The type of guy who passed everything at school but struggles to understand a joke sometimes.

I think i decided he was the one for me when i realised it was his personality and how comfortable i felt with him that attracted me to him more than the fact that he's as fit as fuck. 

I wont go into the full story of how we met and how it developed but he was looking for somewhere to live and he stayed at my place for a couple of weeks. This ended up turning into being a paid lodger and then became a more permanent thing when he started sleeping in my bed more often than his own.

But since this has happened my life has changed as well. I dont really go on the scene any more. I stay in a lot. We do things together and im not looking over his shoulder at any sexy guy that might be standing behind him (another sign that ive fallen for him).

I drink less, Watch less porn, have sorted out my pension, bought a new car, have some shares and some savings. Im turning into a really boring old fart. Im turning into my dad.

I don't really have much contact with Daniel any more. In fact im not sure whether we've fallen out or not. He's living miles away with his partner and we just dont seem to keep in contact much nowadays. I think its more to do with his new boyfriend. I went to visit them once and it was very strained. I didnt really feel very welcome. I would send him emails and it took days for him to reply. He stopped going on facebook and the contact became less and less. A phone works from both ends and ive now reached the point where i think its his turn to contact me. Im sick of being the one to see how he is. I thought id wait until he contacts me.

He never has in months.

 

 

 

Backdated Posts

For a while im gonna cut and paste some old posts from my Offline Diary and insert them into the correct dates on this blog. I dont re read stuff all the time. Maybe look back once a year. I just write things and then ignore them. So for the purposes of this blog im gonna look back over the past 12 months and see what might interest me.  Itll be difficult for you the reader because youll have to keep looking back if you wanna catch up. But its only for a few days until i get into the swing of things again.

Hello again

 

I havent been blogging for a while. Lots of things have happened since i last posted here. there have been many changes in my life.

Amonst the boring changes are how i use a computer. I dont really turn mine on much any more, im a tablet and phone man now. Which means unless i can quickly and easily blog from one of those platforms im not doing it. So ive downloaded a couple of apps and im gonna attempt posting some things for a few days to see whether i can be arsed. Ill be honest its not filling me with much hope so far. 

It's not just the typing of words, it's being able to upload pictures easily without having to piss about with how the post looks. I found one great app only to find its discontinued. The developers packed it in and its no longer supported for a Ipad.

 

Since I stopped I've continued to write things down, I just stopped posting them here. This was more of a diary than a blog anyway so I've just continued writing a diary in a word document and stored it in a private folder. 

 

Any form of computerised diary is fraught with problems. The whole point to a diary is to keep it for future reference or reading. Nowadays computer formats change, apps come and go, something you type now might not be readable in 12 months time let alone 12 years if the bastards decide their not gonna continue supporting that format or expect you to pay money to upgrade to something else. On the other hand I don't thnk I can write anything by hand any more. If I wrote the above few words in handwriting with pen and paper I'd probably struggle to read it and my wrist would probably be aching  by now. Typing is much quicker and more fun. Writing by hand is so yesterday. Anyway, lets see how this looks.

 

 

 

What happened ?

Sent a text message to Andy this lunchtime "how did you feel after Friday night ? I was absolutely arseold" got a reply back saying "I will ring you tonight, we need to talk" oh god what happened?. What did I say or do? All weekend I've been thinking. I have lots of missing memories. It's a long time since I've ever had a night out drinking and not be able to remember what happened the next day. I still feel a bit uneasy about it even now. Why?

 

Andy rang later and said that what we were drinking was a very strong beer. I seem to remember Liam mentioning this early on but I didn't realise how strong it was. Andy drank something different and was ok but Liam drank the same as me and was just as bad. Apparently he was sick when he got home. Nothing much more was mentioned and I still feel bad about it, how to tackle the "no wedding present" thing? I just don't know what to do.

 

 

Before I went to bed there was a newsflash on my phone. It was late so I didn't bother looking at it but as I was in bed I turned the Telly on to Sky News. People had been warned to stay away from Manchester Arena as there had been an explosion. It was about 11.15 pm. By 11.50pm a "number of fatalities had been reported and by 1.30 in he morning this was listed as 19 dead and 50 injured. It was all horrific to watch and very upsetting as the concert was for teen pop star Ariana Grande. So it was full of kids. I eventually turned off and went to sleep. Or at least tried to sleep. It was impossible because I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I am the resurrection

I've just found this blog again after nearly 5 years. Wow and it's still sitting there.

Not that anyone has been able to read it mind you because I had it on private. But I'd forgotten all about it.

Like a little time capsule of my life its of interest to me and no one else. But look at all those lovely pictures. ;-)

 

Trumpton

President Donald Trump has banned muslims from entering America. Well not all of them. Just those from 7 majority Muslim Countries. Syria Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Libya, Somalia and Yemen.

The man's a nutter and over the past few days he's been passing all sorts of laws that he promised he would, but now seem quite Dictatorial. They are even calling him the new Hitler, which seems a bit harsh. I know he's got funny hair but he's not committed mass murder yet.

Prime Minister Theresa May met him yesterday and seemed to be sucking up to him, she all but kissed his backside. A bit to much for my liking and whilst the rest of the world is condemning him for his latest move. She's dodging the question and saying nothing. It's all a bit of a mess and I'm sure there is worse to come.

Madness

 

Busy weekend ahead. Had today off work and went with Robert to Manchester to see Madness. We planned to stop over night in a Premier in near Victoria. Which made it seem like a mini break. We got there in the afternoon and booked in before wandering round the Christmas Market. Spending nothing mind you, Neither of us could afford it. We were only here because the tickets were free. His Uncle and his wife had split up and they were going spare so even though its a bit before or time we snapped them up. Ill be honest i was really thinking we might give it a miss and just go for a drink in the village instead. Its years since ive been there. But it would seem a waste so after a quick freshen up it was out for a quick drink in a local pub and the on to Manchester Arena. The place was full of men of a certain age  dressed in Madness cloths and/or hats. And most of them were drunk. Not aggressive drunks. Just stupid ones having fun. 

 

The support act were the Lightning Seeds who went down well but the crowed only seemed to know a couple of their hits. Rob didn't remember any of them so looked bored. Then Madness came on on were great. Their songs are quite short and mostly uptempo so it was a party atmosphere. I sort of knew most of them. After it was over we went back to the hotel and bed. Night over.

Should I stay or should I go ?

A couple of days left now to the referendum and I'm still swinging back and forth between in and out. I don't really wanna come out but I'm not happy with the way things are with us in. And I don't think we can change that. I have no idea what will happen if we do leave. No one does. But on the other hand, no one knows what will happen if we stay in. It's a big deal and after weeks of News and TV debates the BBC has a major two hour show, live from Wembley Arena on telly tonight. As it stands I still feel the same way now as I did weeks ago. Not sure, but swinging to the "Out" side. I don't know many people who are voting "In" if I'm honest. But i could still vote in.

 

Everyone around me is very verbal about leaving. Which is probably what is swaying me. But I can't watch any more of the politicians rabbiting on. They aren't really helping. Another thing that has helped me swing to the "out" side is the fact that there are so many of them, across parties, Businesses and celebs who say the same. It's not just a bunch of Racists who don't want Jonny Foreigner ruining Britain. It's knowledgable people saying we will be OK if we come out. And although the rest of Europe and the world seems to be wanting us to stay in. I get the impress that they want us in because it would be better for them. Europe will lose a lot of our money and America (our so called special friend) will lose some influence in Europe. We have even had threats from them all. France say they will punish us by making it difficult for us to trade with Europe afterwards if we leave and America has said they will put us to the back of the queue when it comes to negotiating a trade deal with them. It feels like we are being threatened. It's interesting to note that no one knows which way it will go. And I think, like the Scottish referendum, it will be so close that no one will be happy with the result.

Pmsl

 

Better

Feeling a bit better today, back to work. Thanks for all your well wishes and comments.

Only the odd person mentioned anything about it at work. Hardly anyone asked if I was ok or feeling better. So thanks for that everyone.

I don't take time off work unless I really have to but this place doesn't exactly encourage you to drag yourself in when you feel unwell. There's no such thing as light duties or sympathy. If you turned up for work with a leg missing you'd still be expected to do the same amount of work as before. Maybe that's why most people are off sick even if its just a sore throat and a tickly cough. Even though I was genuinely sick. It was a clincher when judging whether to get out of bed on Friday morning.

Saying that I was bored stiff at home. I slept most of the time but in between consciousness I had the radio on. Radio is shit in the morning. No one plays music any more. Radio one has 'grimmy' waffling on about his celebrity mates. Radio two has Chris Evans telling us all about how much he's gonna spend buying James Bonds car and then raffling off (for charity) a formula one weekend for other multi millionaire listeners who might be listening in "the current bid is now £150,000 , your gonna have to top that if you wanna be in with a chance for this fantastic experience".....F*** off!!! I don't wanna hear that sort of thing mate. Half the country is skint so stop rubbing it in you idiot.

Telly is shite as well but I'm surprised how many gay people are on daytime telly. A certain type of gay man though. Either high camp and Jolly or acid queen nasty. Every 'come dine with me' always seems to have one or the other.

At one point I was just sat in a trance not really watching it. I may as well have been staring at a speck of dust on a wall. Then I realised I was watching CBeebies for young kids (also seeming to feature lots of gay men by the way). Children's telly can be much better to watch when your sick. Less taxing and annoying. Just pretty colours and bright pictures.

Panoramic

"Get out into the fresh air, that'll sort your cold out"

I am now off work and in bed, after filling my lungs with horrible fresh air (mainly smelling like horse or cow shit I think) my cold has escalated to level one and I feel like crap.

 

Vitamin C

Started with a bit of a sore throat this afternoon. But by this evening It's as if I've been gargling with razor blades. I feel the onset of a cold heading my way. "Vitamin C" said my mum. Have you got any oranges?.

No. So it's tablets the size of a torpedo in 1000mg form. Lets see if that dampens it down a bit.

No word from Daniel, he hasn't rung me and I haven't rung him. I've decided to see if he will. It's always me picking up the phone so let's see what happens if I don't. How many days before he remembers I exist?.

I can following him on Facebook mind you------ Jack to Daniel.- 'morning lover'......Daniel to Jack - 'Morning tiger'.....blurrrrgh! I think I might be sick.

There is an election for a local crime commissioner today. We've never had one before so this is all new. I have had my poll card delivered but I nearly threw it in the bin last night because i have absolutely no bloody idea who is up for it. I've had nothing through the post, no one at the door and seen bugger all on the telly. To find out who the candidates are I've got to go to a web site called choosemypcc.org.uk. and read up about them......As if...

 

 

Shitty fan

Wtf???.

The shit seems to have hit the fan today. I spoke to Daniel last night and sent him a copy of the email and we talked a bit about it. It's was no big deal and he didn't seem all that bothered. He knew immediately who I was talking about and just said, oh he's a nutter, Jack has told me all about him. I said that Victoria was a bit worried and didn't know whether to say anything about it but he said he would text her that it was fine and we left it there.

Until this morning.

I got a text message from Victoria first thing saying " what the hell have you said?. Jack has gone mental on Facebook!!!". When I logged on to see what she meant I was shocked to read post after post of threats to this guy. "I'm fuming. Robert G******, youve messed with the wrong person this time you F****ing C***t. You've been trying to stir it with my Daniel and his friends and I'm gonna make you pay. Sleep with one eye open from now on because I'm not gonna take this lying down you F*****....." Well you get the idea.

A couple of our mates had contacted Daniel to ask if he was alright but he'd replied, yes fine. So I rang him and asked what he hell was going on. Does this guy know that all Daniels friends and family are reading this shit?. Including Victoria who thinks she's started world war three.

But the silly sod just defended him " he had a bad time with this guy and he's not happy with him, just knock him off your Facebook if you don't like what he's putting, it'll be fine".

Oh great!. That will go down well. I'll unfriend your boyfriend, I'm sure he'll be happy with that. Suddenly my whole perception of this guy has changed. These aren't the rantings of a battered boyfriend. He sounds like a bloody nutter. It wasn't just one post either, it's been going on all day and to make things worse, his mates (who I don't know) seem to be encouraging him with comments and likes. "Go get him jack, I like to see a bit of blood spilt every now and then". Bloody hell ! I don't like his mates either now.

What I can't understand is how this guy will see these posts anyway. Is he in his friends list?. I don't believe there is anything wrong with twitter or Facebook. It's people who use it that spoil it and its idiots like this who like to vent their spleen all over it for everyone to see that I can not stand. A bit Like the ones who post depressing "I'm so unhappy please love me" type posts or shite like that. (Usually women..lol)

I haven't unfriended him because I wanna keep an eye on this guy. I was a bit pissed with Daniel when he said that. "Just knock him off?". What I expected was a short email from jack to Victoria saying something like 'sorry about my ex, ignore him you won't hear from him again I promise' and then carry on as if he didn't exist.

Not...no acknowledgment to Victoria post after post pf rantings about it and "knock him off your Facebook if you don't like it"

Im staying out of it but im feeling a bit pissed off if I'm honest.

 

Stirring it.

So the email that was sent to my friend Victoria was from Jacks ex. She sent a copy to me and asked me to let her know what she should do,

In it He said that he had actually been with Jack for a few years and only split with him because of his lies and "mind games". That he had been sleeping around behind his back and playing him off with others.

It wasn't really a nasty message, in fact it was a bit pathetic to be honest. With lines like " I suppose you're wondering why I didn't just leave him at this point, but I loved him and thought I could make it work" and "I'm only doing this because I don't want someone else to get hurt like me, please be careful with him, he's not a nice person"

The only bad bit was when he said that jack could be violent. But according to Daniel. The reason they split up in the first place was because this guy was supposed to have been violent towards jack.

For starters, why has he contacted her and not Daniel?. Secondly, how do we know he hasn't messaged Daniel?

Anyway I'm not getting involved in some stranger trying to stir it for them. I told her not to answer this message and block him. I will have a discrete word with Daniel that his boyfriends ex has contacted her and leave it at that. Don't wanna make a scene. Best to ignore people like that. Bu he should know about it.

He seems a nice enough guy and they seem happy together so let them get on with it.

In other news... I laughed at an article on the web that had a picture of boxer David Haye showing his arse. Talk about people finding fault with anything. Someone wrote underneath "his elbows are too pointy" eh?

 

Interesting text

Had a weird text message from a female friend today. it came 4 hours ago but I missed it.

"hiya Michael. I've a bit of a delema and not sure what to do. I found an email on my Facebook last night from Jacks ex"

Jack is Daniels new boyfriend by the way.

It had been send last month but was In a different tab on my inbox so I hadn't seen it. It's not written in a nasty way, more out of concern for Daniel. Can I forward it to you to have a read? And see weather he should see it ?. I know Daniel is smitten and I don't want to burst his bubble but I also don't want him to get hurt. The weird thing is that just before I found this email I had seen a comment jack had written on a photograph to one of Daniels exes and I thought it was a really harsh thing to say considering that comment was left over a year ago when they were together.

I don't know if he has message anyone else or weather he just pullled my name off a comment I made to one of his photos or something"

I text her back to send me a copy to look at but she was at work and cant send it till later.

I'm intrigued.

 

Worked out a lot this week

I have an app on my phone called sleep cycle. When I go to bed I turn it on and stick my phone on the bed under the sheets. It monitors movement and how well you slept and is supposed to wake you up in a more refreshing way. It doesn't really. Ive always hated getting up in the morning and this is no help whatsoever. But the best thing about it is the Info it gathers about your sleep and the graphs it produces.

You can input sleep notes before you set it and then it will show how things effects your sleep pattern.

In this graph you will see the effects of 'worked out' on my sleep. I should point out that 'worked out' is my abbreviated code words for 'wanking myself off before I go to sleep'. And this takes place practically every night. Lol.

But the others are real. Interesting how alcohols works isn't it? And look how much sleep I get at he weekend after a good night out. Getting up in the afternoon has got to stop though I think. My weekends are turning into bed and booze

 

Moan moan moan

Thank god it's Friday. I'm still living for the weekend. I might not take it so heavy as I used to but I still look forward to it. Cash flow always puts a dampener on things. It costs a bloody fortune. There was a time when I spent my entire wage at a weekend. But now i have to subtract my bills first and there's hardly enough left to buy a round of drinks let alone get blotto.

I'm sick of the scene anyway. It's the same old faces and it's boring. There's the loud ones, the acid queens, the young newbies who've just come out and gone mad, the oldies who stand around saying nothing, just watching like hawks for some fresh meat to come in. The list goes on. Not everyone is like that. Most gay men are just normal. But because a lot of openly gay men can be loud and camp they overshadow everyone else in the room. I hate that 'look at me' attitude. Maybe I'm goin to the wrong places. People assume gay = camp. And all gay men will sleep with anyone or anything, we like the colour pink and our favourite music is madonna and kylie. We pluck our eyebrows and are clean and tidy.

I heard a woman at work arranging a 'girls only' weekend to France. "Barry and Dave will be coming mind you" she said "but they are gay so it's ok. It'll be great because gay men are really tidy and they can keep the place clean". All the other women agreed with her.

The stereotype is a bind as far as I'm concerned.

God I sound like a real moaning mini in this post dont I?.

Someone bet me £20 to grow a beard or moustache for movember. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I dont mind other people with them but I'd look a tit with a tash. I prefer the smooth thing. Even though I hate shaving. Look! I'm back to moaning again.

I just remembered why I started this Blog in the first place. To moan. So it's ok I suppose.

When it was Halloween I had trick or treaters, after that I had penny for the guy (if you live outside the uk and have no idea what that is look up guy fawkes on Wikipedia) but it's not been so good this year.

I don't mind when little kids are knocking on my door asking for sweets or money with mum or dad in tow. Thats funny. I remember i used to get one little girl who looked about three or four and she would piss herself laughing when I pretended to be scared at her ghost outfit. She wasnt bothered about candy or cash. She just wanted to scare people and laugh. But on both occasions this year they were teenagers (14 or 15) and they made no effort to dress up or try. They just stuck their hands out when I opened the door. If I'm honest I think i was probably being mugged but thought nothing of it because of the time of year.

Ive got an iPhone 5 and bought a new holder for it to use in the car. This holder doesn't cover the camera lens at the back so I can press record and film whilst I drive along. It's a bit childish and kid like I know, but I filmed my journey when i was out at work this morning and then watched it back when I go home tonight. How pathetic is that?. I was laughing at myself for doing it. I feel like inspector gadget

It was a good picture though. LOL

Right that's it for now, time to get my glad rags on. I'm out on the razz and I think I might have a promise on for later ;-)

Can I still do it?

Yum

Can I still blog like I used to before I stopped?. My life is slightly different now. But let's see shall we? Besides I'm bored

Daniel has a new boyfriend and I think that this time it's love. He met him on the Internet a couple of years ago and has been corresponding with him ever since. The problem was, he lived miles away. The other side of Birmingham to be precise. A two hour journey in a car or a long train ride if he has the cash. But now they have got to know each other a bit more they have been taking it in turns visiting each other. He comes up to Daniels one weekend, then Daniel goes down to his a couple of weeks later to stay with him. They set off on a Friday night after work and come back Sunday evening.

I'm glad he's happy and I don't wanna sound jealous or a kill joy. But he's fucked up my nights out. He's always busy now and he's even suggested that this Christmas he's gonna go down to see his boyfriend when work finishes Xmas eve and not come back until the new year. Worse still he's fucked up facebook for me as well. There are never ending posts to each other talking bollocks. Posting stupid pictures and cooing like a couple of love birds. Im considering unfriending him just to get away from it all.

I have a second facebook profile mind you and I'm keeping that to my gay mates and strangers :-). Facebook is shite nowadays anyway. Bored with it. Once my mum went on, it was all over. How can you refuse to be your mothers friend?. But then you've gotta remember that she sees everything you post or tag!. And my mums friends are even pestering me now. Do I really wanna be friends with aunty Sheila ? Her profile picture is of a cat cuddling a puppy. Urge!.

I am working with someone who says 'no probleemoooow' whenever I ask him to do something. 'No problem' would suffice, or even 'ok' would do, but no, it's go to be a long drawn out noooooooopropleemoooo. I asked him today why he did it. But he just looked at me as if I had asked him to jump over the moon. He obviously doesn't realise he says it so often.

I considered mentioning the fact that he picks his nose constantly as well, but if i got started I'd be pointing out his faults all afternoon. Thats the problem with work. Youre thrown together with a bunch of people you wouldnt normally wanna know.

I swear that I was once talking to my old boss and he stuck his hand down the back of his trousers. Where he had his fingers I will never know but he was having a good rummage around. When we walked away I saw him sniff his hand!!!!.

Urgh, change the subject quick i think I'm gonna be sick.

Time on my hands

What a surprise a blog post. The first one for 2012. God is it really that long ago?. Well I've got an iPad and thought I would play.

So here's a short update on my life since I last wrote something on here..... nothing... Nothing at all...

There has been absolutely no fucking change in my life whatsoever!!!!!!.

Still got a shitty job, still single, still skint and still bored with my life. But hey that reality isn't it ?. In the real world bugger all happens. I'm slowing down a bit on my going out though. I've gotten a bit bored with the gay scene. I'm told it happens to us all. The next step is to move onto gaydar a bit more when bored, then you wander around toilets for a cheap thrill, before eventually giving up completely and sticking to porn and the right hand.

Not bloody likely. I'm not going that way of the gay world if I can help it. Although I have been on gaydar a bit more often recently. So I suppose that's a bit of a worry. It's to easy, simple. And far to convenient. I dont do Grindr.

Daniel (remember him?) was shagging a student from Manchester up to about a month ago when they split up after the guy rang one night and said he couldn't be bothered traveling all the way over to see him any more. He said that Daniel is welcome to is it him, but it was getting to be a pain going the other way. Nice guy.

My mother is getting a bit batty. She left her car in a car park the other day to go shopping and when she got back it had gone. We rang the police and informed the insurance company before finding out that she had parked the bloody thing on a different level. It hadn't moved a inch from the space she left it in. She just forgot where she had parked it

I was In Halifax on saturday afternoon and where was a tramp sleeping on the floor outside a pub. A guy walked up to him and poured a drink over his head before running off laughing with his mates. Twat!. For the rest of the night I couldn't get this guys actions out of my head. The more I thought about it the more annoyed it makes me feel. Even now it winds me up thinking about it. How can someone do something like that?. The poor guy woke up not knowing where he was or what had happened to him. He was just piss wet through. I dream of punching the bastards lights out.

Anyway. I'm not sure I'm back blogging, but I'll try again later in the week. For now, here's a picture ;-)