Mambam has left the building

I didn't bother going to Howard's for my tea. Instead i'm throwing some stuff in a bag and going tonight.
It does me i'll have my car as well, but since he will be at work during the day and i don't fancy the idea of sitting in the car whilst he sees his customers it might be a better idea anyway. He's done Carlisle to Kendal and the Lake District areas so it's down the coast now. Brilliant! beside the seaside. Must take my speedos. I hope it doesn't piss it down.
No posting words till i get back at the weekend, But i'm gonna try sending pics from my mobile. If i'm really bored i might text something you never know. keep and eye out. There could be all sorts of shit coming your way day and night.
See you all at the weekend. And just think, it will then be, the weeeeeeeeekkkkkeeeendd !.
I am currently in happy mode.

Naff Pictures

I cheated, i didn't ask the boss if i could have a few days of this week, i asked his wife. Who is my immediate boss so not technically cheating. But it was a bit like going to your mum to ask something that you know your dad will say no to.

First the answer was no (which really pissed me off). But after a few hours things settled down and it was decided that it would be better for me to be out of the way for a few days. especially as the window will be replaced on Wednesday and we would all have to move about a bit to accommodate (it was a big window)
On the down side i can't go tomorrow (shit) but i can have from Wednesday off. This means i will have to take my own car and meet Jack wherever he is on Wednesday.

I suppose Wednesday to Friday is better than nothing i suppose, i should be grateful.
Went to the gym on my way home tonight and saw Daniel. He told me i was invited to Howard's for a meal tomorrow night, but i was thinking of going straight from work over to see Jack, wherever he will be. Typical. I didn't say yes and i didn't say no. I'll speak to Jack later and take it from there.

I spent last night going through Jacks grannies old photos. There are some belters, but i have no idea who the people are. Instead of scanning them (i have no scanner) i am taking a picture of the picture, the cropping and cleaning it with some software. Not the best way to do it, but the results are great. Better still, it's quick.
I'm no sure about some of the content though. This is not Jacks gran, but whoever it is i imagine we all should be grateful it's visual and not audio. Simon Cowell would have loved them
I think it's Yazoo.

Pretty People

Jacks Gran

We didn't stop out long last night. If i am gonna be able to have a few days off and go see Jack next week i'll need the money, so no clubbing and rolling in when the sunrises. It was home and in bed by 1am. It felt weird.
I hope i can get a few days off next week. I have my head on now, and i'm more or less planning it. If they say no on Monday i will be really pissed off.

Thanks everyone for leaving advice, much appreciated. You all more or less agree that i should get off on next week if i can, so it's your fault that i am already planning it. If i can't and i am all depressed on Tuesday i hope your all proud of yourselves for getting me all excited like that LOL.

On the job option, i think i need to follow some of your advice there as well. Perhaps drive over and time the journey one morning. And, something that Jack suggested, If i could maybe work there for a day one weekend or perhaps arrange a day off from my current job and work there for the day during the week, it would be good for everyone to see if things work out.
Anyways i'll think things through this week.

Today we went over to Jacks grannies house. She is in her late 70s i think and a typical stereotypical lovely old lady. One one hand she tells it like it is, on the other she is so kind and grateful that someone has visited her she forces tea and cake down you, even when your stuffed.
one of her grandsons had transferred some old pictures onto a photo disc for her and we had to watch it on her DVD (a present at Christmas).
She knew how to switch it on and off again, but that was it. this one DVD had been on constant rotation since it was put in the machine, she had no idea how to change it or play anything else. she switched it on, watched it and then turned it off again. Nothing else had been in this machine, just old pictures in a sideshow form.
But you could tell she really liked it. They were actually crap quality transfers, but i could make out Jack on a couple of them when he was about three or four. Very funny.

I told her i could do better and knew how to transfer some if she wanted me to. What did i do that for ?, I suddenly have two cameras and i think i'm an expert at photogrophy all off a sudden. Jack just laughed. When we came away i was given a massive bag of old photographs and i some how have to transfer them onto a DVD for her.

It reminded me that i don't actually have any old pictures of me or my family. My mum and dad have them all. In fact i don't have many pictures around my house either. Jacks gran had hundreds of them, there wasn't a wall that wasn't covered in pictures. and the mantelpiece had thousands of ornaments and nick knacks. I have nothing like that.

It did feel more homely. It's not until you visit other people houses that you realise that they have turned it into a home that is personal to them. Mine is as if i am just staying there. I have bare walls and not many personal touches.
It's a mans house, and there is something missing. A feminine touch. I wonder sometimes if i really am gay. I have absolutely not interior design skills whatsoever.

Shopping

Pictures of nothing

Someone a while back said that this blog could do with more pictures. Well i can't be arsed searching the net and uploading them. I just do it now and then when i feel like it. But i get the point. On the other hand i think this page is about me not you. I log on, relive myself of all the crap of the day and log back off again. It doesn't matter to me if it looks pretty, or whether anyone reads it either.
But i have thought more about posting images.
I bought this camera from a second hand shop for £10.00. It's a bit scruffy looking and the screen at the back is a bit manky. But it works brilliantly. Jack asked me why i bought it and i said it was because my mobile camera is shit and i wanted a better one. He is always changing his phone for work and they are always the latest thing, so he gave me one of his old ones that takes brilliant pictures (see below) and i can post them direct to this blog from the phone itself.
So from no camera to two cameras all in the space of 48 hours.
Mmmmmm now what to do ?. Start posting pictures or keep them to myself ?.

I am supposed to be keeping this blog low key. I don't want pictures of myself and friends all over it. Because i write about them. The last thing i want is for them to be looking in.
Imagine my boss reading it. It doesn't' bare thinking about.
so now i have the facility to post pictures and yet i don't really want to post pictures.
It would be simple though just to take something on my phone and send it. I may experiment a bit over the next couple of days. So if you see strange shitty little pictures appear that are of absolutely nothing, don't be surprised.
Ignore them, it's just me playing.

What to do ?

OK dear reader. You have been great at giving me advice in the past so how about i pose a real question this time and ask you for your input ?.
Last night was just a normal Friday night out, Got drunk, had a laugh, blah, blah, blah.
But two things did happen that have left me thinking today.

One i was offered a Job !. A little bit more money, but more importantly with better job prospects and training. Better still from someone who seemed quite nice as a boss. It was a friend of Jacks dad, who i had met a couple of times before but really only got talking to him properly last night when we all went for a drink in a pub in Stockport near Jacks.
He has some sort of small manufacturing company and was looking for someone to work in the offices. He didn't have a job description because it involved everything from answering the phones to invoicing and accounts, Wages clerk, uncle tom cobbly and all.

He had a lady doing it who is part time and has worked for him for years. the place is getting busier but she doesn't want to increase her hours and he doesn't want to lose her, so he wanted someone to help her with the aim to take over much of her work as she moves towards retirement in about 3 or four years time. He said he would be prepared to send me on any course i need to learn anything i don't know and the lady who does it now would be helpful and posotive because she is asking him to get someone like me.

It all sounded good. But now comes the downside. He lives in Halifax and his company is in Halifax and i would have to either commute there or move. I immediately dismissed the idea, but the more i think about it, the more i think i should think about it. It's like being offered some great prize and then being told you will have to move away from your family and friends to have it. Anyways, he didn't push things and wasn't desperate for me to come up with an answer, He only asked me in a pub over a drink so he might be changing his mind this morning. But I'm thinking and it's left me in a bit of a quandary.

I looked on google to see how long it would take to get there via car. It said about 45 minutes. But that would either be over Saddleworth moor (very Bleak during winter), or the notorious M62 (traffic jams galore). So i think the 45 minute thing is pushing it. I tried the same thing via public transport and it said 5hour 30 minutes. That can't be right unless i go via Aberdeen.
Anyway, i need to research this more.

Number two is much better. Jack asked if i could get a couple of days off work next week. If i can, i could come with him when he does some work on the West coast of the UK. Lake District, Morecambe, Blackpool, lytham etc. His company will be paying for him to stay over night and although he will be traveling around all day, he will be alone all evening so if could come, we can share a room (Nudge wink).

But what will my boss think ?. especially after the window incident. Dare i ask him on Monday if i can be off on Tuesday ?.
What to do? I do hate my job and i would like a better one. But do i hate it enough to move away or have to travel a distance that isn't as far as it looks, but traffic wise would be a pain in the arse?. (maybe i'm just trying to find excuses for myself) and am i prepared to jeopardise my job for a filthy couple of days away next week ?

I'm told it's gonna be sunny ;-).
MMmmmmmm. I'll have a drink tonight and discuss it with Jack more.

Forget the week it's over

All these people giving me advice about not going to Dave's party the other night. telling me how terrible it will be, the type of men i would meet and how seedy it will be. And all of it from the position of someone who's given it a go themselves and didn't like it.

Spoilsports ! (LOL). Actually Dave rang and asked where i was, i told him Jack didn't want me to go (if in doubt blame someone else) and then he said "but everyone is waiting for you!". Perhaps i was right not to go......or was it ?. MMMmmm, i'll never know.

Anyways i have enough problems today. I’m in trouble at work. I chased a wasp around the office and tried to swat it with a rolled up newspaper. In doing so i knocked a plant pot over and it fell against a huge window. The window cracked and it’s gonna cost a fortune to replace.

I will probably laugh about it in years to come because it was a real Laurel & Hardy moment. But it didn’t go down well today. In my haste to catch this plant pot as I knocked it off the top of a filing cabinet I made things worse by trying to juggle with it with for a few seconds throwing soil all over the place, include into my own face, mouth and hair, all over the desk and carpet, Before completely losing control and practically slamming it into the window.
Then I did that freeze frame moment you do when something horrific happens, standing still like a statue few seconds as the reality of what had just happened sunk in. And all to the soundtrack of gasps from the audience sitting across from me at the next desk.

Shit, fuck & Hairy balls is the phrase that comes to mind.
The boss came in to take a look. I can’t repeat what he said here without setting up Adult content blogger blocking. But it wasn’t oh deary me, never mind, don’t worry about it everything will be ok.
It was more like Shit fuck and cut yer balls off really.

Sod it. i'll deal with that crap on Monday because we all know what time it is now don't we people ?
it's Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddd!

Hope you all have a good one, have fun people whilst you can.

I disagree

In a world where wars are raging and people are killing each other on a daily basis, it’s always amusing to note the silliest arguments that make up a normal day in my life.
At the time they seem important, but on my death bed I’ll be wondering what the hell I was so het up about.
We are all the same, and anyone who says they have never had a silly argument over something ridiculous or petty is a liar. But i think i would be a nightmare to live with. I like things to be right and i'm very anal about cleanliness.

For example:

Tonight after the gym, Daniel came back to my place and I made him something to eat (Beans & egg on Toast + 3 slices of bread). To show his gratitude he said that he would wash up afterwards. As he did so I continued talking to him and watching what he was doing. His parents have a dish washer at home so when they wash up all they do is rinse them in the sink to take off the worst and stack them in a basket.
He must have forgotten how to wash up properly by hand because every time he put a plate on the draining board I took it back off again and made him give it a proper wash. There was still bloody food stuck on it., he didn’t even give it a rub, he just sort of dunked it in the water (food and all) then rinsed it under the tap.

Then he swilled the forks and I made him do them again as well. And because he didn’t scrape the plates properly before he started the water was like sludge with half a dozen beans floating around on top so I told him his washing up was crap. In the end he told me to do my own bloody washing up and I made him shift out of the way whilst I did it properly. I rejected all his plates and cups and started again. Ha!

This may sound a bit petty on my part but Daniel is the sort of person who is just as fussy the other way round. When i was dishing out his meal i had strict instructions not to let the beans touch the egg and i got a bollocking because the toast is cut into half and not strips. (LOL)
We both ended up laughing about it but it’s a regular thing with me and Daniel.

I remember having a row over a newspaper once because when he gave it back to me all the pages were in the wrong order. Then there was the one about who moved a key from the bottom hook to one 6 inches higher up and not mentioned it, why it’s bollocks that carrots help you to see in the dark, and how having a wank in the morning is better than one at night.

Henry Kissinger, where are you when your needed ?

Scuppered

Spoke to Jack about me going to Dave's party tonight. It seemed to go down pretty well really. He told me that if i did, i was dumped and he would never speak to me ever again.

'It's not a party, it's blokes shagging each other' he said. Porn, booze, sex. And that is supposed to put me off ?. Then he reminded me the last time we went over. The type of men we saw. there was nothing wrong with them as such, but would i want to have sex with them all at the same time ?. Still he's not really convincing me not to go.
I suppose fantasy and reality are two different things but every time he started telling me what would be going on it turned me on rather than off. LOL.
Anyway I'm not going so he can calm down. But i suggested he doesn't use the line "do you really wanna be in the middle of a mass gangbang with a group of old blokes going at you like a pack of animals ?". Er......... give me a minute whilst i think about that one.

So instead i could go over to Jacks couldn't i ?. Well no because he is tired and wants an early night tonight, he has to be up early tomorrow and travel to London.

Daniel is with Howard for the night and Rachel is with her boyfriend as well.
How sad. I'm all alone with no-one to comfort me or talk to. I'm reaching for the tissues right now. And it's not to wipe away a tear. ;-)

What was the reason i wasn't supposed to go to the party for again ?. Oh yes, that's it.

Pretty People

i Like a little milk on my breakfast in a morning.

Stressed

Horrible day at work today and i feel all stressed out. I just wanna go outside and scream at the top of my voice. One of those days where the phone is none stop and every call needs acting upon immediately for whatever reason.

But before you can do anything the phone rings again with some other crisis that needs sorting now, and before you know it you have a list of things that want doing straight away and they are all No1 priority's.
In the middle of all this one of the employees came in to pick up a letter i had been told to give him. My boss said 'if Eric comes in he's wanting this envelope. I'll leave it over here. someone give him it will you?'.
It turned out that Eric was retiring and this was his final wage slip and P45 thingy.

No goodbye or thanks for your service. No shake of the hand or good luck. no leaving card or present, nothing. He couldn't even be arsed to come out of his office to say toodle pip.
I don't know him that well myself, but had a short chat with him. he was happy to retire but disgusted by how he had no goodbye message or even a card. He has worked for my boss for 10 years, and previously for the bosses father for 18. And that was that. after 28 years !. Even i felt awkward about it and wished him well, but when he walked out of the door, no one else noticed, they were all on the phones busy. Not even a wave goodbye from us either. Poor sod.

I feel bloody pissed off and fed up. The more i think about this going to Dave's the more I'm convinced I'm gonna go for a laugh. I'm no idiot. anything for a change to my dull and boring frustrating week.

Pretty Person

Guilty Pleasure ?

That Monday feeling today.
It's depressing. I must snap out of this weekly thing. i long for the weekend and it goes in a blur. Then it's the long haul drudge towards the next one. I have to start spicing up my week days a bit more.

Going to the gym isn't it. even if it does mean i get to ogle the odd guy in the showers afterwards. I must be lowering my taste threshold though because most of them are dogs. But you don't look at the face do you ?.
I have decided to take up an offer of a couple of drinks round at Dave's. Remember him ?. One of Jacks dodgy mates. On Wednesday night he is having a bit of a party. Nothing spectacular, just a few people round, the odd drink and social thing. Starts at 8, finishes at midnight.

I know i shouldn't, but the idea excites me. I'm not really gonna be drinking anyway because i am driving, I'm just going over to, er look. What I'm going to look at i don't know. But I'm intrigued by his lifestyle.
It beats Cornonation Street and Eastenders anyway.

I mentioned it to Daniel tonight and he asked me if i had mentioned it to Jack. I haven't, and i don't know why. Maybe because i know he will probably tell me not to. But i don't hear bugger all from him all week now anyway so what the hell is he up to Monday to Friday?. It's not that I'm doing anything is it?. It's just a couple of drinks isn't it ?

Daniel raised his eyebrows and just uttered the word "bollocks".
It's not till Wednesday so i can always back out yet. But i might just pop over to see how the land lies. If it looks like a big seedy sex party i'll be off. If it is just a get together for a few drinks i'll stay.

But as Daniel says. Who has a party on a Wednesday night for no reason ?. There must be a reason. what is it?.

Admit it, there is a little bit of excitement in all this isn't there ?.

Answers on a postcard to Mambam, Idiotic road, Tosspot avenue. Manchester M1 A62

My weekend all wrapped up in one little post

Well what have i been up to then ?.
A busy weekend, some bits disappointing, others bits better than i expected.

That so called show was crap for starters, there was me expecting to go and see Madonna, Oasis or Kylie and there am i watching some amateur dramatics at a local playhouse.

On the other hand i have never been to see a play like this before so it was kinda new and different. The audience was full of family and friends of the people acting so i won't say what i think of it. Not that any of them are ever gonna read this, but we met a few of the folks afterwards so i don't think i would feel right slagging them off. I'd be no good as a critic would i ?. I wouldn't mind telling the truth about people i don't know and never meet, but being honest about someone that you meet face to face and liked is different. I'm no Simon Cowell, but they all should keep their day jobs let's just leave it at that. I enjoyed the change though after calming down when Jack eventually told me where we were going. The bastard built the whole thing to astronomical proportions before eventually dropping the bomb shell. Twat !

He knew a couple of the people and that is why we went, One guy called Dean came over to speak and he was as fit as fuck. 22, Athletic, stunning. I nearly fainted when i met him. I never heard a word he said, i was just transfixed on his face, he was beautiful. Then his girlfriend came over and the whole bloody illusion disappeared up the chimney. As he walked away we both looked at his arse as he disappeared off into the distance, we both notice that each other had done this and looked up at the same time and started laughing. 'I've stored his face and body for future reference' i said to Jack. And i had.

Afterwards we went for a meal. I stuffed myself too much and felt a bit sick and bloated when we eventually got back to my place, so during sex i just had to lay there and let him do all the work, i couldn't exert myself at all (LOL). As i lay on my back Jack looked up from below and said "Are you thinking of Dean ?" And we both pissed ourselves laughing again. (actually i was thinking of Rachel's boyfriend).

On Saturday we went to the Trafford centre and spent a few hours there before coming back to my place and having a pleasant couple of hours in bed ;-)
Then the usual night out in Mancs on Saturday night, we saw Howard but no Daniel. He apparently was away over to Barnsley to see his gran (on a saturday night?). Howard was with a couple of his mates who looked like they came on a motorbike. All dressed in Leathers and black,. One looked quite nice, the other weight about 20 stone and spoke as camp as tits. He looked the part, but sounded like a fairy.

At the end of the night we saw a guy getting sucked off in a doorway by his girlfriend. He was pissed out of his mind and i initially thought she was picking his pockets. It wasn't until she turned around and asked me "what the F*** are you looking at?" that i notice he couldn't have been that pissed. I could see his little stiffy sticking out of his unzipped jeans. Ha!. Jack offered to give her a hand, but he got angry and called us a couple of perverts, which just made us laugh. He's getting sucked off in a doorway in the middle of Manchester City center where everyone can see, and we are the perverts!.

The next day we drove over to Jacks parents house and went for a walk !!! (another first for me) with his sister and a few girly Friends along a canal.
I thought this was gonna be a disaster as well, i mean , walking ? whats all that about ?. how much fun can that be ?. Actually lots, his sisters mates were brilliant company. They were a lot older than use (40s) so i could shrug off the "have you got a girlfriend ?" thing that sometimes crops up. Because of Jack i had to play along again, but it didn't matter. It was just older women flirting with younger men. If either of us had shown any sign of interest i'm sure they would have shit themselves.
The same thing applies the other way round as well mind you. One of them looked old enough to be my mum.

Jack brought me home in the afternoon and we just chilled for an hour or so. I made him beans on toast and now he's buggered off home again.

I feel knackered so it must have been a good one.

Pretty People

I'm outta here

Final post for the weekend, and a quick one at that.

I'm on my way outta the door in minutes (see previous post as to why)
Shit, shower, shave, sprayed my armpits, dabbed lotion around my gob and dusted some talc round my bollocks. Clean socks & Undies, T shirt so tight you can make out my erect nipples, kegs so low you can see my pubes. A pocket full of dosh and a smile on my face.

See you all on Monday.
Have a good weekend everybody and remember, don't do anything i wouldn't do.

That should leave it open for you to do anything you like.;-)

Things are falling to bits

Now i have sorted out my car (only £20, a lot better than i thought it would be) My computer is playing up.

It takes ages to start up and last night i had to sit here 5 minutes whilst it did things before it would go to sleep. Technology is great when it works but it's a bugger when it doesn't.

I'm actually feeling all achy after the gym tonight. I'm doing that thing where you go every day and then have a week off. Chris says i should go every other day instead of going mad, it's not good for you. But like sex i think you should get it whilst you can.

This weekend i am going over to Jacks so i probably won't be posting much. He has arranged some tickets to go see a show (no idea what he wouldn't say, it's a surprise) and afterwards a meal, followed by rampant sex at his place. A perfect night out i think.

That's Friday anyway, Saturday we will be spending the day shopping, Saturday night it's out wearing the things we bought, Sunday we will be going for a walk with his sister and her friends (not sure about that bit) and Sunday night I'm being dumped back home ready for work Monday morning again.

It's all planned and I'm looking forward to it.

I think i like the idea of knowing what is coming up rather than going with the flow. It's more exciting and you feel like you have something to look forward to.

Roll on Friday.

Car Trouble

How can you tell if your brake lights are not working? You’re sat in the car for crying out loud not running along behind. I’m told I have been driving around like this for god knows how long.
I even have a front headlamp that is out as well. There is some light coming from it but that is the sidelight apparently.
As you can see I’m not brilliant with cars. I know where the Petrol, water and oil go and that’s it.

How much is it gonna cost for a switch replacement and a headlamp bulb? I sometimes think it might be better to get rid of it. But them I am reminded that I might have to sit next to smelly people on the bus and I think again.
Never mind save the planet and carbon footprints. Will I be able to reach forward and turn up Radio one when I want to ?.

Went to the gym again tonight and when i was having a shower afterwards i squeezed the bottle of shower gel and it made a really loud farting sound. An old guy across from me said "who's been eating beans today ?" cheeky twat.

The bosses & his wife had another row today. I have decided that it's true, you should never work with family and friends. They are like Cats and dogs together. When she came out of his office she was bright red and had to go outside to cool down.
Then it pissed it down all of a sudden and she had to run back inside, which made her even madder. To nicely top things off someone (me) pointed out that her car in the car park had a flat tyre.

I'm not laughing, honestly, i know how she feels.

Back to reality

Back to work again and if I'm honest I'm happy to get back to some sort of normality.
Not that i want to get back to work.
My Gran hates bank holidays, The news is moved to a different time, some of her favourite programs aren't on the buses run at different times and the streets are full of people. She wants them all to get back to work again so she can get back to her normal routine. I feel a bit like that today.
There seems to be some sort of cash flow problem though, we have been told not to do the cheque print run today and just concentrate on sending out statements and chasing money from customers. That doesn't sound good does it ?.

I saw Howard on my way to work this morning so i papped my horn, he turned round to look who but obviously couldn't work out who it was, he waved at a lorry driving passed and completely ignored me.

No sign of Rachel at lunchtime today, she is off work sick. Maybe she has what i had last week.

Got a text message that just said "Green socks". I have no idea what it means or who sent it. I assume a wrong number. But i wonder what the hell it was all about. Green socks ?. Perhaps it's some sort of spy password.

Gonna go to the gym again tonight. Back to normal, sweaty Mondays