Christmas Past

Home from my mums for the night tonight then back to Mancs again tomorrow.

Need to check the burglars haven't been round and get a break for myself. I'm getting too attached to being on my own. Any more than a couple of days trapped with lots of people and i get the urge to run away. 

Had a shit Christmas, Not like Last year. Well no that's not true, I visited lots of relatives and had a nice time. But someone was missing. I just couldn't get excited about it all. It just wasn't the same.

One of my Aunties did her best on Christmas day and got us all together for a chin wag and drink. And it was nice to see everyone together again. But in the end it was like having sex without the orgasm. ( what a strange analogy !) I just couldn't enjoy it.

Got talking to one of my uncles about our trip to the US Last Christmas. He said he would like to go to America, it's a place he's always wanted to visit, but he has a criminal record. I was astonished because he's not that sort of bloke, so i asked him to tell me more. Apparently 25 YEARS AGO! He worked in a shop, the manager took £10 out of the till and they all had lunch on it.

He was 17 and owned up immediately when confronted by the police about missing money from the till. The owner noticed cash going missing. Even though this was his first (and only) run in with the police and he knew nothing of any previous missing cash he was arrested and given a fine and discharge.

Stupid thing to do. But how the fuck would Any US Border agency know about something he did in 1986?.

Telly has been crap again this year as well. All the big films were cartoons of the Toy Story ilk. The odd one now and then is good but we've now got a glut of them and i'm bored with it. Then (because this is the UK) we have the obligatory programs about shit. The top 100 shittest things of the year. The top 50 most annoying celebrities of the year. The greatest cock ups of the year etc etc. God forbid we ever have a program about the best things and people of 2011. There must have been something good happened surely ?.

Anyway now that Christmas is more or less over for another year i'm planning for New Years Eve. ;-)

Hope you all had a good one and a Happy New Year to anyone reading this.

Christmas plans

Bit of a weird week this week. I'm Christmas shopping at every opportunity so hardly any time to post anything on here. As usual i've left it all to the last minute and i've no idea what to buy anyone. To make things worse there has been some discussion at work about certain people handing around presents & cards. For fuck sake, i've not bought anyone anything at work and i've not even considered getting them a card. They are just people i work with not my mates. Don't buy me anything and i wont waste my money on you either.

I've decided to get a box of cheap cards and stick them in my bag. If anyone gives me anything i'll write a card for them in the bog and hand it over afterwards.

Had a good night out Saturday. But it was packed everywhere. This means hours waiting to be served at the bar. Trying to catch a barman's eye whilst making sure no-one else pushes in is a bit of an art. It's like trying to get a stripper to whip his bollocks out. everyone seems to be waving ten pound notes in a come hither style. On the plus side you do get to rub your groin against the backside of anyone in front you may fancy, But the novelty wears off after a bit because they are so engrossed in catching some services as well that you're not even on the radar. I was behind a guy who had he tightest trousers i've ever seen. Not only did they cling to his butt cheeks, they seemed to disappear into his crack as well. He must have been wearing them since he was 10 years old and just grew into em, Because there is no way they were his size.

Daniel brought this guy home with him who looked really tidy. Then he took his shoes off and it sort killed the whole atmosphere. In fact i think it killed off some of the plants in the room as well. Bloody hell he needed more than oder eaters. He needed dipping in bleach and scrubbing with a wire brush. The look on Daniels face was a picture. I just sniggered and said goodnight. I left them to it. Whatever 'it' should be.

At lunch time today i saw a guy who only had one eye. As i looked at him he looked back at me so i thought it best to acknowledge him with a friendly "Hi!". Unfortunately it didn't come out like that and i just seemed to say "Eye!"

I walked away feeling my face starting to burn. where the bloody hell that came from i don't know.

I'm going to my mothers for Christmas, i thought it best to be with her as much as possible through Xmas to New Year. It'll be the first year without my dad so she's bound to feel it. But it seems like every other family member and friend has invited her to theirs for the next couple of weeks and she's accepted practically every ones invitation. I'm going over to keep her company and she's gonna be out most of the time!. There is no way i'm gonna have a boring day with some of that lot. Memories of my youth watching the New Year in on telly before everyone says goodnight and goes to bed at i minute after midnight come flooding back.

One of the women at work who was out on an errand rang the office yesterday to say she would be late back because she was trapped on a bus. During her journey the driver of the bus had had some sort of altercation with a car driver. It was something or nothing and when it was finished she thought nothing of it. But when the bus reached the Bus station and the driver got out of his cab, the same car appeared from nowhere and ran him over. Police and ambulance were on the scene and no-one was allowed off the bus because they were witnesses to the whole incident.

We bought our local paper tonight to read more about it. But there was no more than three lines about it in a corner of page 4 and that was that. It just said someone had been knocked over.

Local newspapers are shit for news sometimes. It's common knowledge that anything big happening locally won't appear for at least three days.

Dr Jeckle or Mrs Hyde

Had to buy a Carbon Monoxide detector tonight. I've had a few people suggest that my Gas fire isn't burning  correctly. The flame is a sort of Orange colour when it's supposed to be Blue apparently. But i've read up on it and there is no blackening of the elements or surrounds so i'm not sure there is anything wrong. I got the the vac out and gave everything a good clean and dust, Made sure the flu was clear and had a good ventilation and even lit some paper to make sure smoke goes up the chimney properly. But just to be certain i bought a detector.

As soon as i put the batteries in the bloody thing went off, i nearly shit myself running to open all the windows and doors to let out any invisible toxic fumes. It was like the fire alarm incident all over again.  But it suddenly went off again and a green light came on. I hadn't read the instructions. It's supposed to do that when it sets itself  up the first time you use it.

(Note to self. Read instructions first before turning new things on.)

Anyways, it's flashing green for ok now and everything seems to be ok. But i'm gonna have to get an expert out to look at it i think.

One of my bosses at work (A female) threw a real paddy this morning. I'm convinced she's mentally unstable. She's overly nice one minute but overly nasty the next. I've not been on the receiving end of the nasty side yet but i've had to witness it before.

Today though, she really did throw a proper childing tantrum, Stamping her feet, screaming at the top of her voice, banging her hands on the desk and swearing at her partner (my other boss) For what i could see was no reason whatsoever.

When she is in this mood she's like some paranoid schizo. Any sort of normal question you ask her is over analysed and translated into something critical. So a simple phrase like 'would you like me to file these invoices for you?' can be translated as a criticism of her ability to file things herself and a suggestion that she is so crap at it that you want to take things out of her hands and run the whole office instead of her because she is a useless piece of shit and you want her to die.

However, if you decide not to help and leave filing to her, this can be translated as - do it your fucking self you lazy bitch because i'm not helping you, all this work is for you to do not me. You can't win. And as much as that last bit might sound extreme, she really does think like that.

One day a collegue helping her with some figures she was trying to work out asked if she had a pen. But the way he said it must have been translated in her head as -Why haven't you got a pen?. So she replied with a scream "yes!!, i've got a fucking pen!, Do you think i'm a fucking idiot or something?.

When he replied he was only asking if she had one, She threw the pen at him and stormed off shouting 'here... have the fucking pen if you want it, i'll get my own bloody pen!!!'.  She then kicked a box across the room, slammed the photocopier top loader down and pushed the door open with such a force on her way out it left a hole in the wall where the handle caught it.

We were left looking at each other wondering what the hell that was all about. 10 Minutes later she was laughing and joking as if nothing had happened and turned back into a nice fun person who you can really get along with. It's weird.

Dr Jeckle and Mrs Hyde all rolled into one.

Her partner is a lovely bloke but she's the one in charge not him and you can tell he lives in terror of her, He tends to disappear when she's throwing a wobbler. Like a coward running away from a fight.

It's entertaining i suppose. But it's pathetic and embarrassing at the same time.

Book it

As i type this I'm half watching something on TV  about electronic books. Someone once lent me one of those Kindle readers for a couple of days. I think they were bored with it because i was told i didn't need to rush to return it. I can understand why.

What a horrible little plastic thing it is. I'm gonna sound like my dad here, but i like the feel and smell of a proper book. Especially a new one. I like to see how many pages I've got through and feel the satisfaction of seeing one side fill up whilst the other goes down. The weight of the thing, the texture, the sound it makes when you turn the page. The colours of the pictures. In fact everything about a book that makes it a book.

Reading a kindle was like surfing the net. I got bored after a bit. It's OK in small doses, But not for me.

Is this what happens to people as they get older ? I'll be complaining about saving my stuff on a hard drive rather than the cloud next. Bring back MP3 players that's what i say. These young 'uns don't know what they're missing.

Bit of a busy week this week. I'm trying to put up my tree, visit half a dozen relatives  to give out birthday cards (why are so many people i know born in December?) and arrange a party for this weekend ;-)))

Weak end

Heading towards the weeeeeeeekend and i'm skint again. Daniel has suggest we have some sort of christmas party at my place one week. It'll be cheaper and we don't have to leave the house.

People bring their own booze, we just provide the location and the nibbles.

If we pick the right people it could be a good laugh.

Then he spoilt the whole thing by suggesting we could make it an underwear party or single men only. I think he's pushing it towards some sort of orgy. But not at my bloody house !!.

I'm not having strangers wandering round my home, splashing fluids all over my bed sheets.

Now if it were someone elses place.....;-)

Anyways, i'm off to my mums again, so i'll be back on Sunday. Have a good weekend everybody, i'll leave you with something to look at.

Something for the weekend

Frustration

My weekday evenings are getting boring. I sat watching telly all night last night.

I had recorded something on the history of light entertainment from earlier in the week. A famous Television Producer called Michael Hurl came on talking about Cilla Black. I'm fully aware that famous people have no idea how the rest of us live but when he said (and i quote, word for word here) "She worked like mad, she rehearsed from 9 in the morning until 5 at night,  FIVE DAYS A WEEK!"  I nearly put my foot through the screen. Imagine that eh? 9 till 5, FIVE DAYS A WEEK!!. WOW,  Now that's what i call dedication.

Then i watched something on the Banking Crisis and nearly put my foot through the telly again. RBS Chairman Fred 'the shred' Goodwin and his smarmy mush with that £300,000 a year pension paid for by the tax payer after he walked away from the bank he just banked.

So how about some light viewing instead ?. Get the porn out. That's better and little less annoying. ;-)

Except the bloody DVD player packed in half way through and i had to go on the Internet instead.

Frustration is not the word.

I had a leaflet pushed through my door earlier today for the local adult learning centre. It listed enrolment information for courses running through spring/summer 2012.

amongst those that caught my eye and made me laugh were,

Art for the terrified (£56),

Funky fabric jewellery(£22.40),

Beauty on a budget (£58.50),

Design and make a silk scarf (£21.00)  

& Blogging for beginners (no fee) LOL.

Blogging is obviously not worth paying to learn. Ha!

Don't read this if you are eating

Daniel rang last night and sounded like he had a peg on his nose. He's got a cold and was all bunged up.

After about 15 minutes i had to tell him i was going. He kept snooking and it was turning my stomach.

I can't handle people with snotty noses and catarrh. Especially when they do that loud snoot followed by a big swallow.

Eeerrrkkk. Worse still are the ones that spit. there is never any reason in the world to spit. I don't give a shit if you've got a gob full of acid. Don't spit in my company or i'm liable to spew up at the side of you.

I don't even like it when i'm blowing my own nose. That horrible grobb sound when you managed to clear it is about as horrible as that wa-wa thing people do trying to loosten it up. Hanky in hand, one finger over the left nostril and blow like your playing a mouth organ.

Yuk.

Quick change the subject i'm feeling all queer. LOL

This time last year i was preparing to go to America....Sigh... How depressing a thought is that?.

I've started wanking with talcum powder. Some people use lube, some use other lubricants, but i've discovered talcum powder. It smells better and leaves your willy all soft.

Try it, you might like it. Ha!

That would make a good survey if i could be bothered to set one up. What do you use ? or do you go dry ?.

I need something because i can be at it for ages. Holding back, then building up again to nearly there and back again. i can go on for hours if i'm alone and bored.  I'd be red raw if i didn't use something.

Do you think i'm getting a bit too personal here ?.

LOL 

Induction

Stayed at my mum and dads over the weekend. I say mum and dad, it's just mums now.

By Sunday she was doing my head in. I luv here to bits but i've remembered why i don't live at home anymore. It wasn't because she wanted to talk all the time. It was more to do with the fact that she had a list of things that needed doing. I'm a replacement for my father. Any odd job that he would have done now falls on my shoulders.

But i was out on the piss on Friday and had a good old blow out with Daniel. When i got back i was sleeping in my old bedroom. It seemed weird, it always does. I wake up in the middle of the night for a piss and it feels like i've taken a step back in time. For a second i'm 15 again.

At work this morning i have been given another new guy to "induct". He's a lovely lad but slightly dim. The lights are on but no one is in, if you get my drift.

I felt like shaking him on several occasions because there seemed to be no response to anything i said. He was walking around in a dream most of the time and it seemed as thought he was on another planet. A bit like me on Saturday Morning after a Friday night out. ;-) But he's only 17 and doesn't drink so he's no excuse.

Went shopping to Asda on my way home tonight and was bombarded with over the top customer service.

"thank you for waiting sir"

"do you want any help with your packing?"

"hasn't it been cold today?"

"these are really nice arn't they?"

"would you like any cashback with that?

etc etc.

It's like having your hair cut, the nosey buggers keep asking never ending questions. Now we know what happend to all those interrigators when they shut Guantanamo Bay.

They all got jobs at Asda

Strike

I had a lovely evening with Daniel last night.  He stayed at my place and we sat watching TV and drank a bit. nothing special, just company.

I went to bed sober (ish) because i was working in the morning.

At about midnight an ambulance pulled up outside next doors house. Two paramedics climbed out and were met at the door by one of my neighbours. The nosey side of me went out to see what was happening but they all went inside and shut the door behind them. How frustrating is that?.

It's like someone turning the telly over just when it gets to the best bit.

Real life is never like TV. You don't get to see the interesting stuff. God owns the remote and he's forever flicking channels.

I've still no idea what happened. There hasn't been a hearse parked up so i assume it was just an illness thing.

Today, half the country has been on strike as public sector workers shout about their pensions being raided. Even though all us private sector workers are in the same boat and our pensions are fucked up as well. But hey, as long as it doesn't effect them who cares about the rest of us. After all it's us that would be paying for it and i'm struggling to pay my own bills. I find it difficult to fell sympathy. Hang a banker if you have to but don't expect me to cough up extra for other people mistakes (a little bit of politics..goodnight).

Anyway there has been an upside to all this. The horrible woman i usually work with has been away for a few days to visit relatives in the US for thanksgiving.

And she's had to extend her stay by a day to avoid Heathrow.

So i'd like to take this opportunity to thanks all those people on the picket lines.

Well done. Can i suggest you extend it for a couple of weeks. Especially in the Heathrow area.

Busy

Daniel is coming over tonight.

He's got a day off work tomorrow and fancied doing something different. So tonight he's with me and then tomorrow he's seeing a mate in Leeds. It's ok for him but i have to be up for work in the morning. I just know that drink will be involved in tonight's meeting.

Anyway i don't have time to blog so here's a picture instead ;-)

Friends & Family

Had a bit of a different weekend.

I Traveled to Northampton to a surprise Birthday Party for a relative who is 65 today. He had no idea we were coming and it had all been arranged like some sort of military operation with precision choreography to boot.

It was at an Aunties home (rich side of the family, it was a bloody huge house)

We arrived at the right time to surprise him and what i thought was gonna be a laugh turned into everyone being in tears. He started it by blubbing with the shock of us coming so far to see him, which made my mother and Auntie joined in. Before long there was hardly a dry eye in the house.

It was actually a bit of a magic moment but i was glad when all of the hellos were over and done with, so we could crack open the booze and settle down to a good laugh. I then spent most of the night trying to avoid any conversation that referred to my dad. I couldn't do it. I don't want to wipe him from history but it's too soon for me. My way of dealing with it is to avoid it at any cost. A party didn't seem like the right place to be getting all droll. My Mum was talking about him constantly so i even avoided her most of the night as well.

Dad wouldn't have liked it either, it's what he would have done. I'm probably more like him that i like to think

I didn't really know most of the people that were there. They may have been family but they moved away years ago and i've never spoken to most of them since i was a kid.

One cousin who is now 15 or 16 was practically a baby when i saw him last. He's grown to be a really good looking lad, but was probably the shyest person i have ever met. He could hardly look at people in the face as they spoke to him and was nervous as hell. I chatted to him for a while but it was all very awkward and one sided.  He kept disappearing off to his bedroom to get away from the festivities. You could tell he was hating every minute of it and just wanted us all to fuck off home. LOL.

My auntie got absolutely smashed out of here head, which brings out the Lancashire in her. She starts losing her southern accent and acts as common as muck. Very funny to see.

By midnight we had all had enough . 5pm to midnight is enough for a party for oldies so we rang for a taxi. I wasn't drunk really, I knew i needed to be careful as i was driving us back home again the next morning. We stayed in a local Travelodge that my mum kept referring to as "the hotel". I slept in a big double bed....alone.

All in all i enjoyed it, but hated all the tears. It happened again when we were leaving to come home this morning.

We called for a coffee before leaving which gave us the opportunity to have a proper look around the garden now that it was light enough to see and we had another guided tour of the rest of the house that we hadn't seen the night before.

At one point we were all standing in the bathroom discussing her new toilet and how she had this one fitted because the one that was there before seemed to be a bit too low, which was bad for her back.

It was at this point i realised i should probably bring up the subject of going home 'before the traffic gets bad'.

Women can talk forever about any old bollocks. The colour of the wallpaper the view from the window, the shade of wood that the bathroom cabinet is made out of. Bloody hell i was getting bored.

We did all the hugging and kissing you do when leaving people you love and then just before we drove off we all agreed we should do this sort of thing more often.

As we drove away i knew that we probably wouldn't. You never do, do you ?.

Basic

Room for the night, cold and very basic, but it'll do for what I need it for ;-)))

Alarming times

Had a major panic on tonight.

The house that i live in has a burglar alarm fitted to it but has never worked. I don't even know the combination number to turn it on or off, the previous owner didn't leave it and in any case it looks like it was fitted in the 80s. I searched to find out who installed it but the company name on the front panel seems to belong to to someone who went to business heaven years ago.

So i ignored it.

Imagine my panic then when i returned home tonight to find it flashing and screaming like an air raid siren warning of a bombing raid to everyone down the street.

It hadn't been set off by burglars, there had been a power cut. But....How the fuck do i turn it off ???.

Whats the code ?. Where are the buttons ?. Who do i ring for help ?.

I tried every combination of numbers from 1234 to 09876. I didn't even know how many numbers i was supposed to press. Maybe there should have been three numbers not 4.

AAAAAAArRRRGGGh.

All the time this was happening i was getting a piercing screeching in my ears from the main control panel that was so loud and hurting so much  that i even tried sticking a dish cloth in one lughole and a teatowel in the other to dampen the sound down enough for me to get close to it.

I must have looked like Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers, I was trying to rip the bloody box off the friggin wall to stop it ringing. I tried turning the electricity off at the mains, but they go to battery power don't they? and any way i can't sit in the dark until the battery runs out can i?.

Next solution, Unplug the battery. NO , it's still friggin wailing.

The whole bloody street must have been getting as pissed off as i was because there is nothing worse than an alarm constantly ringing for no reason.

In the end i found a little box at the side of the panel and pulled out a tiny 3amp fuse. Joy ! it's fallen silent.

I'd never make a very good burglar would it ? The whole of the kitchen now looks like a bomb has hit it. I've ripped half the wall away and the alarm box  looks like a 1980 Apple computer pre assembly. With wires, a scraggy box and a couple of broken elements dangling all over the place.

My ears are still ringing though and if i'm honest, they actually hurt.

God i need a drink. get me out of here.

Sausages Mmmmm

I've noticed that most of my twitter followings are of accounts with the name 'gay' in it. I've obviously just clicked and followed anything to do with gaydom, which in turn has got me followers who are gay and suggested other tweeters who are gay and so on.

My facebook account on the other hand is private and i reject and block anyone i don't know personally.

It's interesting how some people see tweeting as broadcasting and facebook as following friends and family.

On the other hand i know someone who has Asda amongst his many facebook friends and i've just seen an advert that says you can follow Jimmy Dean Sausages on facebook.

How sad would you have to be to have Jimmy Dean Sausages as a facebook friend?.

I've got one of those old apple I-Phones. You know the ones, they look nice and are great for the internet, email, games, music etc. But they seemed to have forgotten to add the Phone facility to this particular version of the  I-PHONE and it is forever cutting out.

I was talking to my mother today and as usual the bugger just cut off in the middle of our conversation.

Sadly my mother never noticed and apparently kept on chatting happily at the other end for ages. It just went silent to her and she had no idea i had gone.

Gym Tonight.....I think.....I don't know yet.

It's always a bad idea to come home first. Once i'm here i can't be arsed to go back out again. You should just go straight from work and get it over with. But that's what everyone else does and it's packed to the rafters with people fighting over machines.

By half 7 it's dying down and if i went at 9.30pm i could get on anything i liked.

Saying that, the changing rooms are much more interesting places when it's full than when they're empty.

I saw a guy in there with the hairiest back i have ever seen last week. You could have shaved it off and made a wig for a 80s rock star out of it.

How pissed off must he feel though that he can grow hair like that on his shoulders and back but the top of his head was like a bowling ball. God was definitely taking the piss on that day of creation.

How often do you see hairy bald men? All the bloody time. Taking the piss, definitely.

Hellllooooooooooooo

Shiver me timbers, I'm back blogging.

I almost deleted you, but thought better of it. Not that i have anything to say, but hey, it fills a few moments i have spare. 

So lets get back to talking bollocks shall we?. Diary or diarrhea ?

Things are settling down at work (touch wood). I neither hate it or love it. I'm treading water and i know it.

If you asked me how the business was doing a couple of months ago i would say it was struggling. We were holding cheques back and not paying our suppliers unless they rang and asked for it. I couldn't understand why because the bank account (that i have access to) showed at least £150,000 in credit.

But i have learned today that the boss is trying to dump his overdraft facility so that he can go tell his bank manager to fuck off. How satisfying would that be?. Apparently he's renegotiating terms and they want to charge us more as well as getting more collateral to cover.

It explains why this bank manager has been visiting so often recently. I met him a couple of times. He looked like a spiv. about 27, smart suite, shiny shoes and a gob that oozed double glazing salesman. Just as you imagine they all are.

Went for a walk with Daniel the other day. I know that may sound a shocking statement. And i'll be honest it's not something i do ofter with him. But it's the middle of November, the weather has been fairly nice, we both need to keep fit and someone told us that there is a cruising/dogging area not far away from where i live.LOL.

Not that we were going to do anything, but we thought we'd have a look for a laugh. 

It started raining and there was bugger all going on . But we passed a couple of hikers so pretended we were out for a nice healthy walk as well. I asked them how long it would take to walk round the lake and the fella said 'probably about an hour'.

Daniel (the nob) replied "we don't have that much time, we'll just walk half way and then come back"

This weekend i'm supposed to be driving the family to a surprise birthday party for a relative. He's 65 and lives in Northampton somewhere

How the hell did i get roped into that? 

Member me ?

Not back to blogging properly but i'm bored tonight and thought i would tickle the keyboard for a bit.

A little potted recap of the happenings since i last posted something....

I'm feeling a bit better now than i did at the time of my last post. My mum is still struggling to cope with living on her own, but life goes on i suppose.

Daniel is just the same. He just split up with someone for stealing some cash out of his wallet whilst staying at his place for the night. I never liked him anyway, i could tell he was a dead leg.

I've got a new job after walking out on my last one (don't ask)

Luckily i still live in the same house that i did after scaring the pants off myself wondering where i was gonna get the money from to pay my mortgage. Note to self -: find a new job before you end your old one next time.

I'm still single but i'm hitting the town less and less lately so that doesn't help does it?.  Is this what happens when you get older ?. The same thing seems to be happening to my mates as well. We used to be out every weekend.

People are getting married and settling down all around me. Then they have kids and that's that, they disappear into their own little world and unless i visit them we lose contact completely.

My sex life is lagging and i've taken to gaydar for too much over the past few weeks just to keep my hand in. But it's the same old story. I'm bored when i'm on my own, but when i find someone they start to smother me and i want to be on my own again.

I do want a partner, i don't want a partner. Make your bloody mind up Mate!.

Anyway if anyone is still out there. Hope you are well and everything is ok with you. Now how about an obligatory picture of a half naked man for us all to enjoy together ?

Plonkers out lads..

Ball bag or sock stuffing ?. You decide

The end

FYI my dad died on Tuesday.

This is my final blog post. There are more important things to do than sit at a computer half the night blogging.

Time to move on and re-evaluate my own life.
Sorry to cut things dead like this but it seems appropriate under the circumstances. My heart just isn't in it any more.
There's no self pity or depression. Just glad there's no more pain and distress.

I'm fine and so is my family. We knew it was coming and it's just a relief it's now over.

Thanks for following. But for the moment i shall be spending more time offline than on.

All the best

Mambam ;-)

Made me smile

Dreaming of a German Lad

Went out last night to show of my tan. Best make the most of it because the weather is so shit in this country i imagine it'll be gone by the end of next week. No wonder Brits are so white.

Like a pillock i dressed in full Tshirt mode and spent most of my time running from one watering hole to another trying not to get wet or freeze my bollocks off. Daniel didn't come. He's totally skint and couldn't borrow any more, in fact the down side of borrowing money is that you can't be seen to have a good time until it's paid back.

The one question everyone asked was 'did you get off with anyone?' and the answer, sadly, was no.  It was only 7 days and two of them were traveling to and from the UK. Even when i did see someone i fancied i dare not make an approach. Funny that, isn't it?. It's ok when you are at home, but miles away in a foreign land tends to put you back to square one. I almost spent an entire week back in the closet it was that bad.

I'm reminded of when i moved from Oldham to here. I had to start all over again with new friends and letting them know i'm gay. You imagine that coming out is something you only have to do once. But in reality you spend your life coming out. Maybe if i was camp it would be different. People would just know and assume i am. But i'm forever being asked if i have a girlfriend or am married. and even though i say so myself, both Daniel and I could have shagged at least twi girls who staying at our hotel if we really wanted to. There was lots of smiles and hello's coming from their direction every time we passed them by.

Why couldn't it have been like that with the boys ?. That German lad is still in my brain and i've had many a good wank thinking about him. The stuff we've done together i could not repeat. LOL, sometimes he was all lovely and kissy, the next minute he was a bit of an animal. Ha!. If only. He's probably got a girlfriend or married or something.

Anyway i'm rambling now.

Again, tonight no one got to see my white bits. I didn't get so much as a kiss, and i am back home already at 12.11 am. But it's fathers day tomorrow and i'm going to my parents for the day so an early night will be a good thing.

I've written in the past about the way i feel when i have a boyfriend. They seem to stifle me and i long to be single again. Now i've had a bit to much singledom and want to get back to boyfriend material again.

Or maybe that's just the drink talking. Time to go to bed me things.

Back Home

Well i'm home now and we all know how bloody depressing that is after a lovely holiday. Especially when it was one you enjoyed. In fact i didn't realise how much i enjoyed it till i got up this morning and looked outta the window.

How is my dad?, back to work on Monday, i've no milk left, need to go to the supermarket, no one cooking for me anymore, the grass needs cutting..etc.

And my bank account is empty as well. Back to life, back to reality.

I've been looking through my holiday snaps. Hardly any have me or Daniel in them. It's nearly all scenery. We both dodge each other when taking pictures. I hate looking at myself. But that just leaves lots of scenery and arty farty snaps that don't really have the same impact afterwards. What was once a breathtaking scenic view now just looks like a flat picture on a computer screen. it's just not the same is it?. I wished i dared whip my camera out and take as many as i wanted too of images i wanted to really keep.  I was reading a book by the pool that mentioned 'Cocteau's cocktail parties'. "they say that Jean Cocteau, to amuse his friends, could lie back knacked on a table and bring himself to full ejaculatory orgasm without touching himself, through the power of imaginative thought alone".

Well, i can tell you, there were times sitting around that pool when i could have done the same. Sitting around half naked people does that for you.

There are some pictures of us in the hundreds i did take, but not as many as i thought. I'll post some this week (not of us, i've told you before, if you wanna blog properly don't tell the world who you are).

But amongst them there are the odd ones of fellas i saw and fancied and dared take  :-) Trying to get Daniel to stand in the foreground whilst i was really trying to get one of some fit fucker in the background. LOL.

In fact it became a bit of a catch phrase during our holiday. Whenever anyone took a picture the other one said "was that a real one or just a background shot?"

It will make a change to post pictures with my blog that i took myself i suppose rather than nicked of the net. They may be tame in comparison but it'll give me a little sigh of...i wish...

Before i left i unplugged the  telly recorder by mistake. So i've missed a weeks worth of telly. But then again, did it matter?. No is the answer.

I don't wanna go

As I type this I'm sitting in reception waiting for the bus to take us to the airport. Had a last minute top up of my sun tan, shower and change into suitable cloths for English weather, waved goodbye to my room and handed in my key.
God it's depressing. It's fantastic weather outside and I don't wanna go home. It's like that regeneration scene from dr who where he changes from david tennant to matt smith.
(who fans will understand that reference).
I don't fancy the journey either. When you are going home it's not as much fun travelling. You just want to click your fingers and your back.
Back to the real world soon.
More on this holiday at a later date. You can't blog properly on a phone.

Landing

Feel like this today

Meet and greek

Tonight we will be drinking here at some point
http://www.rodosnightlife.com/en2/big-brother-bar
Join us why don't you ?
We've done faliraki. We even went there today. It was deserted. Everyone must have still been in bed sleeping off last night.
Faliraki is the Greek Blackpool. With lots of drinking holes, tatoo parlors and strip clubs.


Rhodes is the Greek st annes (if you are English you will understand that reference) but we've had some tips where to go local and have decided it's cheaper than traveling every night


It cost us nearly 20 euros to get there and another 20 back. And the journey was more like a theme park ride it was so scary. He kept calling us young boys lol.

I look like a bloody beetroot. But it's going brown as well.
Anyway I'm out and about when I post this
Tried to post some mobile bid warier but couldn't get it to blog so check out my twitter feed instead it seemed to work there.

Bog door in faliraki

Testing video u tube

Trying to post video to blog from my phone but can't get it to work

Try this instead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjFFLXvtGwU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Suffering for my sins

Should have posted this yesterday but didnt get time ;-)
Very hungover, Really tired. 
Day of rest. 

But more of the same tonight I hope ;-) it cost 17 euros to get there in a taxi but split between the two of us it's money well spent.

I'm in love with a German. No idea what they call him, or even if he's gay, but he's tall, blonde, and has the most amazing bod ever.
Better still, he looks like he's been here a while 'cos he's all golden brown. Yum.
We've been following him and his mates around for a couple of days now but sadly they don't speak English and we don't speak Germany. Shit !
Not sure I'll be making any advances though. He's with a group of seven lads.  But you can admire the view though can't you ?.
I'm now a sort of red/brown mix. It's really windy down this side of the island which makes it great for sun bathing. The sun roasts you and the wind keeps you cool. Daniel is complaining that his bellybutton is sore. He obviously didn't stick his finger in it when applying the sun block.
The back of my kneck is the worst. 
There's a couple who are always by the pool. They are in their late 30's or 40's and look like ex porn stars. He's got tatoos and pierced nipples, she's got huge false tits and fake body of a 20 year old but a face of a 50 year old. Daniel took one look at them and said "swingers".
They always strut around in g strings and when in the pool they are always kissing and touching each other up. Today they were sat across from us and our view of them was up their arses because they sunbathed face down. When they rolled over to do the other side his cock fell out and he just slapped it back into his swimming trunks (?) again as if nothing had happened.  It looked like a baby's arm hanging out of a pram.
I wish o had the guts to get my camera out. I could fill a blog with some of the sites I've seen this week.
I wish I could show you;-( 
We have been told that Greece is a very conservative country and we don't really know how open or careful we should be. But I went to buy a bottle of water this evening in a grubby shop just around the corner from our hotel and noticed that there was a small stash of porn for sale along with all the other essentials you might need for your holiday. It wasn't a huge section, just 3 DVDs, a couple of dirty books and a set of playing cards but I was surprised to see it.
Mind you the guy serving me looked like a dirty old man so it's probably second hand stuff he's getting rid of himself after getting bored with it.
I bet all the cards are all stuck together.

Faliraki

Visited the old town today. It's just a short walk away.
The whole place is ancient and surrounded by a big wall. There are several entrances but once you get inside it's like a maze of little streets no wider than a car. It's easy to get lost inside and we were warned to take a map with us, but of course we didn't. We just had to retrace our steps back the way we came to get back out
again. This was more like it, it seemed like we were actually in Greece for a change. Previous walks seemed to be much like home (apart from the half naked people strolling by). But this was like a trip back in time.


It was scorching hot and I've caught it on my face, but it didn't stop us coming back and sitting by the pool all afternoon in the blistering sun.

Tonight we have just discovered faliraki ;-)))))

Party time !!!

The food here is amazing. But you have to dress up for dinner. It's all a bit fancy, like going to a posh restaurant. It's decked out like a wedding reception though. White table cloth, White chairs, etc. All we need is a bride and groom.
They have a sort of buffet at lunch where you can load your own food up onto a plate as much as you like.
It's all inclusive so we use it a Lot (although it's too hot to eat most of the time).
The main problem is wandering up and down staring at food I've never seen or heard of before. We are constantly looking at each other and saying "what's that?".
So we put a bit of everything on a plate and try it. Unfortunately this can sometimes mean you have chicken, fish, cheese and cake all together with a blob cream. Or your taste buds are expecting mayonnaise and get whacked with yogurt. Anyway it's all staying down and in, so it must be ok.
We are a stones throw away from the old town. Which is supposed to look old. We thought it did but when we took a closer look those bars, cafe, and shops are selling burgers, lager and the daily mail newspaper. We werent in the old town at all. Just the scruffy end thats all. You just have to watch you don't get run over by some guy on a scooter. They are everywhere and I'm not impressed with some of the driving here either. Greece is on it's arse at the moment. The country is bankrupt. But I don't think that's why you get hassled to go into every shop, restaurant or bar you pass. I think it's just normal for here.
"hello boys, table for two ?, best restaurant in town, I sit you next to some lovely ladies" no thanks we've just eaten. "hello boys, i have all sizes inside, you want to see more?" no thank you.
They are very polite and not pushy but it's a pain when you've heard it the 100th time and we stopped walking down one street because of it.
Sitting by the pool today I noticed that most of the people wearing nothing were over 60 and all the young ones were covered up.
We took a strole along the beach where it was slightly different. So I got my camera out and took pictures of the beautiful blue sea (lol) I may post some when I get back. My phone got the odd sea view though. ;-) follow those guys


There was a young girl no more than 16 or 17 on her own sunbathing in the middle of nowhere with just a g string to cover her modesty.
She looked a golden brown and had long blonde hair. Every fella walking past seemed to stop and take their time looking at the sea around her before moving on.
What confused me was that apart from a towel she was laying on she had nothing else. No bag, no cloths, nothing.
And there were no friend are family around either. Just here an a sort of deserted stretch of beach laying flat on her back with her legs apart.
Silly girl.
We ended our day walking to the harbour and entrance to the real old town. It was really nice, must go again tomorrow when it's light.



This place is the least gay town in the world.
I'll be honest. I wouldn't even dare own up to it here.

Budgie smugglers

A new day and let's hope a bit more relaxing. I feel a bit better this morning, maybe a good nights sleep after a long day travelling helped.
The food and service in the restaurant is fantastic. We had breakfast and decided to tackle the dodgy subject of changing our rooms from crap ones to good ones.


At reception we accosted to a lady who spoke to use slowly in English then turned to her friend and spoke Greek at a hundred words per second.
We had a weird sort of argument going on between us where we insisted on better rooms. Everyone was being polite and pleasant in a forceful and aggressive way.


In the end she said there were a couple of rooms coming free later and showed us one that hadn't been cleaned yet. It would be free once the maids got round to cleaning it. She couldn't let us see the second room because people hadn't checked out yet, but that would also be free later. It seemed ok and a lot better than the ones we had so we agreed to accept. But its never that easy is it ?. we would have to vacate our rooms now so they could be allocated them to someone else when they arrive. Meaning we would be without any room at all until 2 in the afternoon. But no worries we'll just sit by the pool watching the guys walk by in budgie smugglers and the girls wearing string for swim suits
We found a nice spot and stripped off. Both of us looked like ghosts in comparison to some of this lot. I felt slightly embarrassed really. There was a woman sitting across from us who looked like a leather sofa she was so brown. We were vanilla ice cream to their chocolate magnum. So we needed to get brown, and quick.
But after about 15 minutes in full sunbaking mode I realised this wasn't gonna be the same as sunbathing at home. It was HOT and I mean HOT!. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and you couldn't breathe. Even with factor 50 I could tell this might be dangerous. And I decided to move into the shade,
It didn't bother Daniel though. He just lay down and insisted he would be ok, then fell asleep.
As I type this I'm wondering if I dare get my camera out. Some of the sights are amazing ;-) on the other hand some others are horrific I've just seen a 60 year old woman topless and her tits were practically dragging on the floor.
It's definitely the type of holiday where you need to nip back to your room every now and then for a quick ...er... Rest ?
People seem to be pleasant but unapproachable. I can't work out if they just don't understand us or they really don't like the Brits.
After sitting round the pool for 4 hours we got our new rooms, a vast improvement and I'm settled now. It couldn't come too soon because I was feeling a bit sick. Not with sunstroke. I think it was the heat (heatstroke). I needed a cold shower and a lie down in a darkened room for a bit. But still felt a bit wobbly afterwards.


It's a weird place Rhodes. One hotel looks nice and lush, but the next building can be derelict and falling down. The shops are very similar, it goes from busy newsagents to building site and back again in the space of 10 yards. But I'm liking what I see so far, just need to explore further afield.

Day one

Never slept a wink last night, how can you sleep when the sun is still shining outside and the birds are singing in the trees.
But I needed to be up for 3.30 am to get to the airport in good time so I had to force myself into an early night..
Everything seemed to go well at the airport we arrived in good time dumped our luggage and went for something to eat. A full English breakfast, sausage, beans, egg, hash browns, the works. Yum.
Then we got on the plane and it all went tits up. A technical fault left us sitting like chickens in a coupe for an hour and a half And I was sat in front of a screaming child (again). Children under 3 shouldn't be allowed on planes unless they are muffled.
In the end a flight attendant announced that the delay was due to someone flushing a nappy down the toilet so we would be flying with one bog down.
He followed this with another announcement "today's in flight movie will be... meet the........ Er.... Fockers!!
I think it was an old VHS copy because it was unwatchable.
Then they tried to sell us magazines, drinks and headphones, before asking us to part with more cash for some charity or other. But no worries because the in flight meal came next, which was a full English breakfast of eggs, beans, sausage....etc. Doh !!.
When we eventually arrived there was a 45 minute wait sat on a coach. Our rep went looking for some missing passengers who never appeared. Then we eventually set off to the hotel, only to be told that our stop would be drop number 9. It took 1 hour 30 minutes to get from airport to hotel.
I was hot, irritable and really fed up.
Then we were allocated our rooms. Two singles (lol) but next door to each other.
Even I could tell they were really shit rooms. I think they just assumed that we wouldn't be bothered but we were. There is a huge air conditioning unit outside my window and we overlook a flat roof.
This is a four or five star hotel is it?
We complained but they said they couldn't move us until tomorrow.
£25 to have a safe for valuables and wifi only Accessible at reception.
It's going well don't you think?
Let's hope there is some totty about or I'm outta here.
Already spotted one in the restaurant tonight though and a quick stroll on the beach looked promising. Lots of Germans around. so you never know ;-)

I think we have contact

Welcome to Greece

Ready For Go

Well that's it then, i've got everything ready to stick in a suitcase. As long as things go ok i'll be flying to Greece this week.
I know i haven't been blogging properly for a while. I've been at my parents or the hospital most of the time but if there is internet acess over there i'll do like i did in America and spend some time writing up and posting pics of my short stay.
If you hear nothing it means we are no where near anywhere with a signal.

My dad is feeling a bit better and back home but still not 100% so i'm not sure i should go. But he wouldn't be happy if i didn't and  let's face it i can't do anything over here anyway.

Fingers crossed i can take some pics of the locals getting a nice tan (LOL)

The Gay Scene

Not long now before i get on a plane and fly the hell outta this place.

I'm still in two minds whether to go or not because my dad is really ill. It's weird, I still try to switch off and have a good time but it's always there in the back of your mind. When i'm with him it gets a bit intense and i need a break by getting away, but as soon as i do i'm wondering how he is. Last night i was out having fun. But i just wasn't in the mood. That's why i've blogged less. I'm not really in the mood for anything at the moment.

Anyways i've got my tickets, booked my seats, arranged a lift to the airport (via a friend of Daniel's) and all i need to do is get there.

I'm just not excited about it like i should be.

Daniel confessed to me the other night that he's not happy either, so we're both turning into miserable bastards. He hates his job and is sick of the scene. It's like going through revolving doors. When you first go on the scene it's a wondrous place. All those men and suddenly you feel like you've just walked into a fairground. But after a while you realise it is just like a fairground. It's all front and no substance. You suddenly notice that you're talking to guys who spend most of their time looking over your shoulder to see who else is about. You think you've had a great night with someone, only to find they're not answering their phone to you the next day. Then you're having to leave a pub because an ex just walked in. Or look around the room and notice the only ones you like don't wanna know you. Then a stranger appears and it's fresh meat for the masses. It's just a never ending chase. 

I know how Daniel feels but i've sort of dropped out of the loop lately so i crave a night out like that at the moment. I'm not in the mood for anything serious. I just wanna have some fun.

I've had the other end of that stick. The other night i got talking to a guy who was only 17. It was his first night EVER in a gay club and he was like a dog on heat. I couldn't get rid of him. He latched onto me and the more pissed he got the more morbid he got. I had two choices, take him home and fuck him. Or go to the loo and climb outta the window.

I decided to go for a piss and just walked outta the door. There would have been a time when i would have gone for the latter, but i've learnt that there are consequences and you could tell he would have been trouble.

Saying all that, I'm not sat watching Britain's got Talent and haven't been outta the house today. Is this it ?.

The exciting life i lead eh ?.

Donate a Day

On the telly this morning i saw something about a 'donate a day" charity thing. They are asking people to donate a day to help someone or some organisation.

I don't have time but i thought i would take a look. I always wished i had a job that meant something to someone instead of shuffling paper around. And now that i'm sort of looking after my dad on and off i've got a taste for it.

But i didn't wanna do just anything. I'm not fucking interested in The Dogs trust or the Royal Horticultural Society (Eh?). so i went for the Terrence Higgins Trust. Well what do expect?, i'm a poof..

I found a link to the website and found out how to volunteer and who to ring. But was hit with...

"At present we have no vacancies for volunteers in North England - please check back soon or contact Naomi to put yourself on the waiting list."

I've been over to my parents this weekend. My dad is ill again. They think it's an infection and he's on antibiotics

I think he’s taken a turn for the worst. I thought he would start getting better as time went on, but he seems to be up and down a lot. Eating food is like a game of Russian roulette. Sometimes he’s fine with it. Other times it makes him really poorly.

And I can see in his eyes that he’s had enough. I suppose that when you have been ill for a long period of time it’s not just about the illness, it’s about how long you can stand feeling that way.

He’s already said he wished he hadn’t bothered having an operation and just let nature take its course.

How do you cheer someone up who feels like that?

As i type this i’ve just realised I still haven’t arranged transport to get to the airport as well. I looked at all the options, but never got round to doing it.

To be honest I’m in two minds whether to go now. If he’s really ill the week I go away what will I do?

What a shitty weekend it was.

Dust off those bollocks

I’m supposed to be staying in tonight so I can be up early tomorrow to clear out a garage for someone. But balls to that one, I’m on the razz. I know I’ll regret it in the morning but sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

I’ve been asked to meet someone for a drink. Does that constitute a date? I’m not sure really. It wasn’t arranged as a date. We just said we’d meet for a couple. But there will only be two of us and we’ve never met for a drink before on our own.

All I know is that after i post this I’m having a bath and will don my best underwear, just in case. ;-)

I went to see my dad last night. He gets tired very quickly but doesn’t want you to go because he’s bored and craves company that he feels comfortable with. When friends or family call he seems to want to put a face on and pretend he’s ok. But the second they leave he’s complaining that he’s tired and wished they had gone an hour ago. With mum and I it’s different, he’ll just fall asleep mid conversation or tell us to shut up for a bit whilst he has a kip.

He took off his shirt so I could look at his scar and he looked like a bag of bones. The operation has ruined his pallet. Everything tastes funny or of nothing at all. So he’s not interested in food and only sees it as fuel

Sometimes he’ll crave a meal, but by the time my mum has made it he’s gone off the idea and a few mouths full in he’ll complain that it doesn’t taste anything like it should do.

We watched a bit of the Eurovision song contest semi-finals together but he hated everything and everyone on it. The UK entry 'Blue' were winding him up the most. He hates the fact that they come across as “Cocky” and were waving and acting up to the camera all the time.

He’s turning into a miserable moaner and even thought It’s understandable there are times when you just wanna slap him.

God knows how my mum copes with him 24 hours a day.

Anways, short post over, time to doll myself up for tonight. Shave, teeth, bath, shower. A little light dusting of talc to the bollocks and bum (not too much, don't want a puff of smoke when i'm de-robing, as has happened in the past) Deodorise, filck my hair into some sort of creation, glad rags on, take them all back off again because i'm not happy with the look, glad rags on and off again for the next 30 minutes before saying "fuck it, no ones looking anyway". Fight my way through a sea of cloths now cluttering the bedroom floor that i intend folding & putting away in the morning.

Cash, Cards, condoms, condiments, and outta the door like a rabbit up a drainpipe.

See ya the other side  ;-).